I’ve been amazed over the years to watch God at work as He raises up gifted women to teach and equip women in God’s Word. We are feasting at the banquet table when it comes to options and opportunities to gather with other women and study the Scriptures together. Equipping women in knowing and applying God’s Word is the foundation of Women’s Ministry, but we must always be conscious of whether women are moving beyond the safety and comfort of their small groups and moving out to the hurting and lost world around them.

I have a visual picture in my mind of a woman with

one hand tightly gripping the hands of her Christian friends who provide support and the other hand stretching out to the hurting women in her community. It’s not an either-or but a both-and scenario.  The challenge as a leader is to first discern God’s heart for which ministry opportunities to pursue. Secondly, we need to decide how to minister in the name of Jesus—no small task!  I’m amazed how the Lord has brought to my attention needs and opportunities for reaching out and how quickly the women responded when challenged to participate!
   

We’re currently partnering with an Arabic congregation in reaching refugees. Our part is collecting and delivering “personal care baskets”. We’ve recently begun accessing the growing Hispanic population in our community as one Hispanic single mother refers us to the next. All single moms have such wide variety of needs that just focusing on that target audience alone would create many opportunities for ministry. At a recent women’s luncheon we had a drawing for hosting an extreme one-room make-over for a single mom. We ended up rearranging the furniture, organizing the bookcase, slip-covering the sofa and ottoman, as well as adding lamps and an area run—all donated items.

My home church has a Missions Department that gladly offers guidance and wise counsel, but if that’s not a resource available to you, then where would you suggest that a leader begin looking for ministry opportunities? The Holy Spirit directed Jesus as he selectively responded to the needs around him.  As leaders, let’s commit to asking this same Holy Spirit to do that in our own lives and the lives of those we lead. Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to Christ will certainly not lose his reward.“ (Mark 9:41)
 

Linda Lesniewski is the Women's Minister at Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas and the mother of four young adults and grandmother of four little girls. She is a contributor to the book Transformed Lives: Taking Women's Ministry to the Next Level published by LifeWay. She has authored A Little Book About Knowing A Big God for children, Women at the Cross, published by Revell, and Connecting Women: A Relational Guide for Leaders in Women's Ministry, published by Baker Books.

We deal with many issues and crises of women in women's ministry. One that has plagued our communities is infertility. Perhaps you have experienced it yourself. I did.  But it was what God used in my young married adult life to bring me into a deeper walk and total recommitment of my life to Him and His plans. For the first time, I learned what it means to totally trust God with something I couldn’t change…and to trust His ways, even if it meant I’d never have children. I am very grateful that He blessed us with the most wonderful adoption experience when we became parents of twin girls.

According to the National Infertility Association, infertility is defined as a “Disease or condition of the reproductive system often diagnosed after a couple has had one year of unprotected, well-timed sex, or if the woman has been unable to carry a pregnancy that results in a live birth". 

How do we help women in our church and our community who are struggling with all of the emotions and disappointments that often accompany infertility?

Issues to consider:
1.    How it feels for a woman experiencing infertility to be around pregnant women.
2.    How she can be confused by wanting to be happy for pregnant women but at the same time feels jealousy.
3.    How she wonders why she can’t be the one who is pregnant.

Try to understand:
1.    Every childless woman you encounter may not be so by choice.
2.    Infertile women often experience silent grief.
3.    The experience of infertility can be all-consuming. (And we often think EVERYBODY but me is pregnant!)
4.    Sometimes the church can be a painful place because it is so family oriented. Mother’s Day can be especially difficult.

What to do:
1.    Encourage honesty: let her vent or cry if she needs to. Encourage her to ask God the hard questions she is facing. There were days I needed to just let God know I was hurting even though I trusted His heart.
2.    Commit to pray for and with her: help her continue to trust God.
3.    Be sensitive with conversation: don’t avoid talking about children, just keep in mind the heart of women who are in pain.
4.    Be willing to listen: take time to stop and really listen to her heart.
5.    Help her find a place to serve: not necessarily with children, but pray with her about where God wants her to serve. I chose to serve with children while I was dealing with this, but for others it might be too hard.
6. Start a support group: you will probably find many others like her in your church. They can journey together.   When I was dealing with infertility, we didn’t talk about it much in the church and we had no support groups to help women deal with it. See this helpful article: Steps to Leading an Infertility Support Group
7. Provide resources on infertility: know what is available in your community and provide that information along with reading material.
8. Connect her with an older women or a couple without children: help her see that God has a plan all women, regardless of whether they have children or not. She will see the joy is found in Christ alone as she sees a childless woman walking with and serving the Lord faithfully.

How are you ministering to women dealing with infertility in your church?


Other Helpful Resources:

The Missing Peace: Coping with Infertility Devotional Guide by Leighann McCoy

13 Keys to Ministering to Infertile Couples By Rhonda Kelley

See our recent live webcast  on the topic of infertility, miscarriage and adoption: scroll down to June 8.
 

Women Reaching Women in Crisis print or pdf
 

I Will Carry You by Angie Smith
 

Infertility: A Survival Guide for Couple and Those Who Love Them, Cindy Lewis Dake
When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden, Sandra Glahn & William Cutrer, M.D. (photo)
 

Water From the Rock: Finding God’s Comfort in the Midst of Infertility, Donna Gibbs, Becky Garrett, Phyllis Radon

 

Get ready to laugh, cringe, and learn from our  guest blogger and women’s ministry leader, Sheila West, as you read her post today.

Listen as she teaches us from the "back of a motorcycle"...

Technically, since I ride on a motorcycle behind my Honey (my husband) and I am a mother, I guess I could be called a "Motorcycle Mama." But before you conjure up an image of an athletic, daring individual who feels motocycle riding is the definition for "born free," let me say that I believe I am more accurately a "Motorcycle Wimp.” In other words, I am "a chicken." What can I say? My mind just tells me there is something dangerous about riding motorcycles. So, why do I willingly climb on the back of a souped up machine, expose myself to the elements, experience "bun" fatigue and helmet hair? Quite simply, the love of my life loves motorcycles. 

Recently, we took a motorcycle trip to the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina. On our first day, I sat apprehensively behind Honey as he maneuvered around one twisty, hairpin curve after another (a motorcyclest dream ride, but a wimp's nightmare). Honey said, "Sweetheart, motorcycle riding isn't about getting to a destination, but the joy of the ride. Relax! Don't be afraid of the curves. You have to trust that the tires on this bike are glued to the road. Just lean into me, have confidence in me, I know what I am doing.”

I mounted the motorcycle with a new resolve to “chill out.” That is, until a decreasing-radius curve took Honey by surprise. I sensed Honey slowing down as he leaned! And leaned! And leaned! It seemed my heart was stuck in my throat blocking my impulse to cry out. Then, I felt the footpeg hit the pavement. My body recoiled. Everything that was in me screamed "straighten up" -- in other words, lean away from the curve. I wanted to take control, to right the bike by my own will.

But even in my limited understanding, I knew my “will” spelled disaster. My human survivalist instinct gave in to truth: the only way to get through this curve safely is by leaning into Honey. 

Life and ministry lesson: As we continued down the curvy mountain road, I kept hearing, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding; think about Him in all your ways, and He will guide you on the right paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6 (HCSB) . You see, it’s not just motorcycle riding that takes you into unexpected curves, but life and ministry do as well. I don’t know about you, but I have found myself tooling down the road enjoying the thrill of serving Jesus to only come to a point of wondering, “Why am I putting myself through all these challenges?”  What challenges? Have you ever found the obstacles of getting things done steeper and deeper as you navigated through them? Have you ever found yourself struggling to gain control? Have you ever felt pressured by people and projects or caught off guard by the unexpected? My human instinct can scream, “lean to your own understanding” and I want to set things right by the power of my “will.”  At times like these, my human survivalist instinct needs to give way to Truth: the only way to get through this curve (challenge) safely is by leaning into God. Leaning requires really believing God is in control. In the Amplified Version of the Bible, “believe” is explained as “adhere to, trust in, and rely on.”

So, lean into God by:
·    Adhereing to His Word. It is the glue that keeps us secure no matter what challenges catch us off guard.
·    Trusting in His ways, not relying on human instincts to right situations.
·    Relying on the spiritual skills you have learned along the journey to be His wisdom for effectively manevering through the challenges.

When you keep your focus on Him and stay in the moment, the answer to that question, “Why do I keep putting myself in these challenging situations?” is quite simple. The FIRST love of my life, Jesus, loves women. And, so do I.

Sheila West has been involved in Women's ministry for over 25 years, serving as Director of Women's Ministry for over 20 years in the local church. She is presently on the Leadership Team for Heritage Community Church, in Lady Lake, Florida, including coordinating women's ministry. She is the founder of Real Living Ministries, a speaking, teaching, and leadership development ministry to women. Sheila has appeared on numerous Christian radio and television broadcasts, including The 700 Club, and 100 Huntley Street. She is the author of Beyond Chaos, published by NavPress, and is a LifeWay Ministry      Multiplier. She and her husband, John, are the parents of two, and the proud grandparents of eight.

Once again, our guest blogger is Karen Alexander-Doyel.

Enjoy her words of encouragement…

Yesterday a big, fat rabbit was eating some of my tomatoes.  As I was washing dishes after dinner, Jim came walking through the kitchen with a rifle in his hand.  I looked up and asked where he was going.  He told me the rabbit was in the garden and he was going to shoot the rabbit!  I immediately said, “NO!” “Please don’t shoot the rabbit, just shoo him away.”  Jim assured me the rabbit would continue to come back.

I thought about the rabbit and decided I had enough tomatoes for all of us.  I did not want him to shoot the rabbit.  I know this means I may find more veggies on the ground with bites out of them.  The tomatoes are just not more important to me than the rabbit.  It may be a mommy, it might have babies, and it is really cute!

This morning my Bible reading was in Romans.  Paul was giving instructions on how to live with each other.  Let me share a couple verses with you.

Romans 12:10 “Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.”

Romans 12:17 “Repay no one evil for evil.  Have regard for good things in the sight of all men.”

Romans 12:18 “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”

Ministry means working with people.  Whenever we work with people we will find ourselves in the position of sharing, changing, disagreeing, forgiving and learning.

If I am willing to forgive a rabbit and share my garden with it, how much more should I be willing to forgive my brothers and sisters in Christ?  Yes they sometimes take from me what I do not want to give.  It seems they can sneak around when I am not looking and take a bite out of me.  So, do I shoot them or forgive them?

Paul knew it would not be easy.  He actually used the words, “if it is possible”, but as I get ready to use those words as an excuse I am reminded that God’s word says, “With God All Things Are Possible.”

Karen is a writer for the Tennessee Baptist Convention Ministers’ Wives blog .She is a speaker and conference leader, former pastor’s wife, and LifeWay Ministry Multiplier from Lenoir City, TN. Karen was married to Dr. Douglas R. Alexander, former pastor of First Baptist Church, Lenoir City, Tennessee until his untimely death a few years ago. They served in ministry in Texas, New Mexico, Arkansas, Ohio and Tennessee. Karen established and led women’s ministries in each church she attended and is a conference leader and writes and teaches Bible studies. She especially has a heart for ministers’ wives and wants to help them love their special calling in ministry. Karen is married to Jim Doyel and is the mother of three grown sons.

Visit our ministers' wives web page for more resources.

 If you are like me, when you ask a question you want a quick answer. If you see a need, you want to meet it immediately. If you have a dream, you’d like to see it fulfilled now.  But how often in ministry (or your personal list) have you asked God for something and He just doesn’t seem to answer quickly?

I really prefer doing ministry with all the details in place. When I served on the church staff at Green Acres Baptist Church in Tyler, Texas, I wanted to map out the entire year (at least!) and have no holes in the schedule or blanks not filled in as we began ministry for that season. We had a newsletter to get out for goodness sake!

But what God did is show me that, as Terry Hershey said in Young Adult Ministry  “programs look for quick answers, but ministry sees grace in uncertainly.” As I studied Experiencing God, I came to understand that it wasn’t my job as a women’s ministry leader to know all the answers…that was God’s job.  My job was to be in such a close walk with God that I would know He was at work, and when He asked me to join Him in that work, I would hear Him quickly and would respond in faith…even if I didn’t know “how” He wanted it all done. I came to trust Him for what I didn’t know.
One of our summer interns at LifeWay in our women’s area sent this poem today from Russell Kelfer. I hope it blesses you as it did both her and me!

Jimmie Davis, is the director of girls’ ministry at First Baptist Church, Spartanburg, NC. She is also author of  Girls’ Ministry Handbook and Girls’ Ministry Idea Book. She has spent years working with girls and raising up leaders among the teen girls she has invested in. I will give you her top ten ideas and add some comment to each.

Listen to her thoughts about growing girls into godly women:

Today's postmodern teenage girls face a variety of issues and pressures from the world, but how are churches influencing them to become godly women? Women's and youth leaders are stepping up to the plate to address that need through girls' ministry. Girls' enrichment ministry is an intentional and organized method to spiritually transform the lives of teenage girls, moving them from large open groups to smaller closed groups, while equipping them to be godly women. Many times it's couched as a sub-ministry under student ministry, women's ministry, or both.

Girls' ministry is a proactive way to instill godly values in young women while addressing the needs and issues they are facing. It can also be seen as a preventative type of ministry. When girls establish their identities and values on God's Word as teens, they are well on their way to becoming godly women and avoiding the pitfalls (and consequences) so many of their peers may fall into as adults.

Before you consider expanding your church's women's ministry to include a girls' ministry, look at the needs of today's postmodern teenage girls:

1. Self-Image
Girls today are prone to low self-esteem. Some are pressured into promiscuity and alcohol or drug use. Many find themselves dealing with eating disorders, self-mutilation, pregnancy, unhealthy Internet relationships, even confusion over sexual orientation.

2. Decision-Making
Teenage girls need to learn how to make wise decisions as they become women. Much of women's ministry today is crisis intervention. Many crises are brought on by unwise decisions made during the teenage and college years. Girls are maturing earlier, being exposed to temptations earlier, and losing their innocence earlier than in past generations; therefore, we must reach them for Christ earlier.

3. Application of Scripture
Girls need to know the truth of God's Word and how it applies to their lives as women. By impressing on them the importance of reading, studying, memorizing, and applying God's Word to their lives at a young age, you will help them move along the path to becoming a godly woman.

While these three aren't exhaustive of all the needs of girls, many can be traced back to these essentials. Girls' ministry may also provide for these other needs:
·    close-knit relationships with other girls,
·    female role models,
·    validation of feelings,
·    affirmation,
·    awareness of hormonal issues,
·    emotional security,
·    physical security,
·    understanding of the male mind,
·    acceptance,
·    genuine love,
·    boundaries, and
·    help in working through problems (such as abuse, eating disorders, unwanted pregnancy, and STDs).

As you pray about how your church might reach teenage girls, take time to talk to other youth and women's leaders. Research trends and habits among teenage girls. Ask God to show you how He'd have you proceed, whether that means simply organizing a youth girls' event or if it means launching a full-blown ministry. With God paving the way, a girls' ministry can be a powerful tool in His Kingdom.

 

Other Helpful resources for Girls’ Ministry:

LifeWay Girls Ministry Blog

Girls' Ministry Web Course

 You and Your Girl Events

Check out these two new books:

Table for Two

 True Princess

At  a recent YOULead training event, this question was raised: “It is the heart’s desire of our women’s leadership team to have intergenerational mentoring groups (spiritual and practical) available to the women or our congregation.” Then she listed the following 3 questions which I will respond to with some ideas. 

1) What would be a good starting age for the young women/girls to participate in such a group? I think if you ask our LifeWay Girls ministry specialist Pam Gibbs, she would say YOUNG! If girls grow up understanding Titus 2:3-5  and have experienced it from middle school on, they will be more likely to mentor others as well. Why not encourage the older women to mentor college and 20 somethings, the college to mentor the high school girls about to enter college, the high school girls mentor middle school girls about to enter high school. They can share things that prepare for that next step, things to avoid, resources to help them as they enter that new phase of life.  All of us are called to mentor, and be mentored no matter the age. Start instilling that principle at a young age, and it will become a natural part of growing as a woman and as a daughter of the King.

2) How many girls/women should be in a group? There is not one answer here. I think mentoring should be a part of anything we are doing with women and girls, whether a Sunday morning Bible study or a small group to teach them a practical skill like baking a cake. It really depends on the plan and on the purpose for that particular pair or group. But even if you mentor in a group, you need plenty of “older” women, or shall we say “wiser” women to be available to connect one on one.  We are about to start something at LifeWay, designed by the younger women, to connect our generations of female employees for prayer and mentoring. I will keep you posted and I’ll let you know how it goes!

3) What are some resources for planning, facilitating, leading such a group? If you desire a formal mentoring program such as Woman to Woman Mentoring, designed for more one on one time together, that would normally include two women, possibly 3. If you want to teach a group of women how to cook or some other skill, consider, Apples of Gold, a six week nurturing ministry or Apple Seeds for younger girls. 

For more help regarding women’s ministry and mentoring see these resources and articles:

Table for Two

Transformed Lives: Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level 

Women Reaching Women

Shepherding a Woman's Heart 

A Garden Path to Mentoring 

The Need for Mentoring in Today's Church article

What are you doing to promote mentoring relationships in your church? Share them with us in the comments.

Ministry Wives Weekend 2009 from BGCO Women on Vimeo.

As a ministry wife, what kind of shoes do you wear?  Listen to co-authors of In Our Shoes: Real Life Issues for Ministers’ Wives by Ministers’ Wives, Jennifer Landrith and Rachel Lovingood,  as they share their thoughts about the different kinds of shoes ministry wives wear!

For more from Jennifer and Rachel, check out the Bible study, In Our Shoes and In Our Shoes blog.

What’s new? What’s just been released? What is about to be released? What training and events are ahead for 2010? Where will we be in 2011?

Find out what is coming for moms in 2011! You can help us as we discuss elements of our new event  ".mom". Hear from Paige Greene, Director of Woman’s Training and Events, Chris Adams, Senior Lead Women’s Ministry Specialist, and Pam Case, Director of LifeWay Women.

Just click here to join us live, or check back July 15 for the recording of the web cast.  You will have the opportunity to ask questions through the chat box on anything LifeWay Women Resources.

Join us July, 13, @ 12:00 to 1:00 p.m. Central time for this free leadership update.

We can't wait to “see” you then!

Today’s post is written by guest blogger, Debbie Stuart. Women’s Ministry Director, Prestonwood Baptist Church in Plano, TX and is a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier. She earned her Women's Ministry Advanced Certificate from New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary   and is a member of the Association of Women’s Ministry Professionals . In addition to being a conference and retreat speaker and Bible study teacher, she was the founder and director of Network Extravaganza in the Shreveport, Louisiana area. She is married and has two young adults. 

You will be blessed by her words here:

It all started with my mother (you know what they say, if it’s not one thing, it’s your mother!).My mom, Carol, married young and found herself in a hopeless situation. One Saturday morning her  neighbor, Jean, invited her to church. She heard for the first time that the Lord loved her, gave his life for her and had a plan and a purpose for her life. She accepted Christ and vowed to follow Him for the rest of her days. She joined a women’s Bible Study group, called the Deborah class, those women loved her and became involved in her life. She began to thrive! They taught her practical lessons about life, marriage and finances, but also spiritual things that she longed to know more about. This investment changed the course of history for her, my family and generations to come. (They didn’t call “it”  Women’s Ministry back then, but that is exactly what it was!)
 
My name is Deborah Jean. It was given to me in honor of those women who made a difference in her life. Little did we know that for my mom “the rest of her days” would not be many. She lost a battle with cancer and stepped into Heaven when she was 40. I was 23 and had a five week old baby boy.  Jarrad was her first grandchild.
 
I was devastated and depressed. But the Lord began to walk other women into my life that made a huge impact. My mom, because she died so young, was not my spiritual mentor. It was other women that made a significant spiritual investment in my life. They loved me and prayed me through some very dark days. And I began to thrive!
 
As a leader in Women’s Ministry, how are you investing in the lives of other women? How are you helping other women to do the same? Your efforts can change the course of history. The “face” of Mentoring Ministries continues to change, some have gone more organic, others have added new aspects. Some churches have eliminated “mentoring programs” stating: “It didn’t work”…but the “fact” remains the same….The Lord asked us to do it! (Titus 2:3-5) There are only a couple of scriptures in God’s Word where He asks women to do something for him – so let’s be found doing what we were asked to do!
 
What fresh perspective or creative ideas can you share about the offering a Mentoring Ministry?
 
“From that city many believed in Him because of the testimony of the women” (John 4:39)

 
 “One life is of priceless value to God’s Kingdom and yours may be that life.”- Oswald Chambers

In the next few days we will celebrate the freedom of our country. If you are like me, you probably take that for granted much of the time. Maybe we’ve never experienced Christianity in other countries where it’s not free.  Take a few minutes to think through what you would really miss if you didn’t live in our free country…who you would marry, where and if you would be educated, the career you might have, the home you might live in, and certainly the worship you would participate in.

This is a great time to ask the women in your small groups what they enjoy most about freedom and what they would miss most if they didn’t live in freedom. Perhaps you have some who live in a free country, but do not live free in Christ. Maybe they do not know Him as Lord and Savior. Maybe they do but they aren’t living in freedom. Galatians 1:5 says Christ has liberated us into freedom. Therefore stand firm and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery. But many women do not stand firm in that freedom.

What things are your women bound to, or what are you bound to, that Christ wants to free you from? Draw women into that discussion during this holiday celebration. If you have several who are struggling, perhaps you can begin a study over Beth Moore's study, Breaking Free. This study is perfect for a small group who is struggling with these issues.

Let us know the results of your discussions this week. Share what your women are saying they love about freedom and from what issues they need to break free.

For more help, also see Living Free.