We are always challenged to teach truth in the face of difficult circumstances women face. Perhaps you too have been faced with a woman considering divorce. Consider what guest blogger Kim Jaggers  has to say about this very situation played out in her own life as a leader of women.

 

"She isn’t sure when the thought took hold.   She never expected life would be so disappointing.   As much as she wants to be happy, she just isn’t and it is so hard to fake it for herself, for her kids, for her husband, and for her church.   She is tired of trying; and she is pretty sure the man she married is too.   His long hours away used to bother her.  She used to wonder if there might be someone else….now she hardly cares.  

You’ve sat with her in Bible study.  You’ve picked up on her sadness and seen through the mask she has tried to wear.  Occasionally, her words have hinted at the struggle inside her heart, and now she has confided in you; she is done trying.   She wants to be happy.  She deserves to be happy, right?  She believes her kids would be better off away from the fighting and the faking; and she thinks she may even have scriptural grounds for divorce.   She looks at you through tears.   What do you say?

You’ve always had a happy marriage… not perfect, but happy.   Doesn’t your friend deserve to be happy too?   How awful it must be for her kids to hear all the fighting, and if he has been unfaithful, doesn’t God say it is okay for her to leave?  Wouldn’t it be best?

On the surface, most people in and out of church would say “yes”.   However, life after divorce is anything but “best”, and the enemy is positioned to wreak tremendous havoc that many do not consider when contemplating divorce.   When marriages end, problems multiply and are magnified and the effect is generational.  Once divorced, your friend can expect her income to be one fourth that of two-parent homes (National Survey of Families and Households).  At some point, she can expect to find herself owed child support which is late or never paid (2000 National Child Support Report).  She can expect to have to work outside of the home to make ends meet; and 48 percent of those like her will have to work two jobs (Bureau of Labor Statistics).  As a single parent woman she can expect to experience the highest rate of unemployment and receive the lowest rate of pay regardless of her education (Economic Roundtable, 2004).  Once her marriage ends, she may find her standard of living tumble as 41 percent of single moms live at or below the poverty level as compared to only 8 percent of married couples with children under the age of 18 (Bureau of Labor Statistics, 2002-2003).

Some may say they would trade their higher standard of living to get away from the constant fighting or the devastation of unfaithfulness.  Yet, financial devastation may be the least of the problems she will face.  Most women would tell you they would do anything for their kids.  Many would tell you they would “jump in front of a truck” to protect their child; and many believe leaving an unhappy or even unfaithful marriage is best for their kids.  However, the decision to leave a marriage can have devastating consequences for children that most people do not consider.   Ninety percent of all kids who run away from home do so from homes where a father is not present as do 85 percent of all children who exhibit behavioral disorders (Centers for Disease Control), and 71 percent of all kids who drop out of high school  (National Principals Association Report on the State of High Schools).   Numerous studies show kids from broken homes are more likely to have sex before marriage, do drugs, and commit suicide.  Similar studies show children from broken homes are more likely to end up divorced themselves. Indeed, the enemy gets a lot of generational “bang for his buck” impact when a marriage falls apart.   Problems do not end when the marriage ends and are, in fact, often multiplied.

God tells us He “hates divorce” (Mal 2:16), and as I work with hundreds of Single Mom families, I have began to really understand why.    I lead a ministry called The Well, and most of the women we serve will tell you “the grass is not greener on the other side”.   After divorce, they find their lives are still hard if not harder, and many no longer feel they fit in at church.    One of our long-time church members who recently lost her marriage to divorce told me, “there is no place that I feel lonelier than church.   Sometimes, it is unbearable.” 

So, What then… What do you tell your friend considering divorce?   Tell her what Jesus would tell her.  Speak truth in love.   She needs to know life may be hard now, but it could get much harder if she chooses divorce.  She also needs to know, God is still the Miracle Maker.   Tell your friend, tell yourself…. Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).  In our ministry we have seen God heal marriages that I would have never thought possible.  We have even seen Him restore to joy marriages that have suffered from addiction and adultery.   It is not easy.  The enemy will not make it easy and we all need to know he is attacking marriages within the church like never before.   But we absolutely do not have to give the enemy all he wants.   Marriage is worth fighting for, but it takes incredible work and strength that only God can provide…. But He will provide it.  He will be an ever-present help in times of trouble (Ps 46:1) including marriage times of trouble.  With Him there is love for the unlovely and forgiveness that is beyond ourselves.   In Him, there is help to do what our minds can never imagine we could do.  God can restore the years the locust ate (Joel 2:25), but we have to agree to follow Him with all we have, and we have to believe it is worth it.   Tell your friend it is worth it.   She can see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Ps 27:13).   When we choose to follow God, when we keep our promise to Him about our marriage….we can see His blessing even in the most gut-wrenching of trials. Furthermore, we have the opportunity to bless our children and their children after them for a thousand generations (Deut 7:9).   Pray for your friend.  Encourage your friend.   Tell her to give it all she has and give it to God.  When we give it to Him, when we fight with all we have to follow Him for our families, we can avoid regret and find surprise-ourselves strength because “The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.”  (I Thess 5:24).


Suggested resource:

Women Making a Difference in Marriage
 

Kim Jaggers is deeply in-love with Jesus Christ and desires to point others to a real relationship with Him.   Kim had the fairy tale life – a petite, dark-haired, Southern-Baptist girl who grew up and married the gorgeous, charming captain of the football team.  This picture-perfect couple quickly acquired the picture-perfect life – promising careers, beautiful home, topped off with a healthy baby boy.   But, little did Kim know the picture would soon shatter into a thousand irretrievable pieces with the loss of her home, her husband’s addiction to cocaine and his eventual suicide during her critically ill newborn’s surgery.  Her story is a faith journey which will inspire those who come against intense hardship to turn to God for strength and hope to overcome spiritual battles that besiege them.   It will also encourage those who aren’t currently facing difficult times to purposefully seek God and enjoy life with the knowledge that He will never leave them or forsake them.

Kim speaks at churches and women’s events across the country sharing her story as well as excerpts from her writings including “Nineteen Ways to be More Than a Conqueror of Your Problems.”   Her e-devotional “Single Moment” is received by hundreds each week.  She also started and leads The Well- at First Baptist Concord in Knoxville, TN - a ministry serving hundreds of Single Moms and their kids which has now been birthed in several other churches.   Kim has 3 children: Will (17), Ben (15) and Abi Grace (11).   She is blessed to be married to Deron Jaggers.   To read her complete story and learn more visit: www.morethanchocolate.org

One of the issues that comes up over and over again is how to reach our young adult women. Several articles on this blog address this very topic, click here to read more.

Here is another opportunity to involve your young adults (men and women) in finding purpose at a very creative and relevant event. They will hear from incredible men and women speakers and will be challenged to live out their “God call”. Perhaps you can help sponsor young adult women by helping cover expenses to be a part of this special gathering.

Watch this video about the NOW Conference  Don’t let your young women miss what could be their “defining moment”. Join us in Nashville April 15-17.  See details here.



Great Resources for Young Adult Women:

Interrupted by Jen Hatmaker

Scouting the Divine by Margaret Feinberg

Looking for ways to motivate the women in your Bible study group? You'll be encouraged as your read our post from our guest blogger,Christina Zimmerman,Editorial Project Leader for LifeWay's Leadership and Adult Publishing department as she addresses the age old issue in Bible study: how do we keep women’s attention throughout a Bible study whether it is 6 weeks or a semester long?  She gives us several important things to think about and incorporate into our Bible study group times.

"You are in your sixth week of facilitating or teaching a 13-week Bible study and find that half of the women are no longer attending on a regular basis or they have dropped out all together. “Is it me,” or “should I have done something differently?,” you may ask.

It’s true that life issues,like a need for a babysitter, the lack of transportation, family problems, and so forth may be distractions that prevent attendance. It’s true that the decision to drop out may be due to failure to complete homework because of one reason or another. It’s also true that there are a host of excuses that women use for not attending. But the problem—the real problem—is a lack of motivation. They are not motivated to attend the class. They are not motivated to learn. Addressing this need can help with other distractions and issues that pull women away from Bible study.

In Dr. Howard Hendricks’ classic book, Teaching to Change Lives, he says, “The number one problem in education today is the failure to motivate learners.” Educators seem to agree as the dropout rates among high school students continue to be an issue. Many of them have the ability to do the work but they lack application. There is nothing to capture and direct their ability and energy.

Dr. Hendricks believes that if this is also the case for people in Bible study classes, then it becomes the job of Bible study leaders to motivate their learners to learn and be self-starters. So how do you do this?

The need to motivate learning in education is not new. There are several teaching strategies for increasing motivation in the classroom already in use. Some have been developed for Bible study classes. One in particular is Dr. Bruce Wilkinson’s Need Model. The key to this model is to develop lessons that respond to the felt and real needs of the women. Remember some of the distractions that pull women away from Bible study are felt needs like a husband losing his job, for example. This model could be a help in connecting women to viable solutions for life concerns; thereby, motivating them to keep coming back.

The Need Model is patterned after the teaching ministry of our Master Teacher—Jesus Christ.  Jesus used five steps to uncover and build the need in his listeners’ hearts. Once He did, motivation and excitement flourished. He demonstrated this five step model in John 4:5-30 during His encounter with the women at the well. This is what He did:

Step 1: Seize Attention
The first thing Jesus said to her was, “Give Me a drink” (Jn. 4:7). He got her attention because in that culture a Jewish rabbi would never talk to a Samaritan woman so she was shocked when He spoke to her. What can you do to capture the attention of your women on a weekly basis? Some come to class after a long day on the job or taking care of the family. So begin your class time by taking charge of their attention.

Step 2: Stir Curiosity
Now that you have the attention of the women, go deeper. Stir their curiosity so that they want more. Jesus did this in a most instructive manner. He told the woman at the well about a “gift of God,” “His identity,” and “Living Water” (Jn 4:9-10). Note that He did not start right into the lesson, but He threw out three different points to rouse her curiosity. How many worked? All three (Jn. 4:11-12). She was hooked and needed her curiosity satisfied. Each week ask yourself what you can do to rouse curiosity.

Step 3: Stimulate Felt Need
The real lesson still had not come. Remember it is the Bible study leader’s responsibility to develop self-starters. Jesus did this by stimulating the woman’s felt need. He led her to think about the issues in her life until she determined that she needed what He had to offer (Jn. 4:13-14). Determine what is first and foremost in the minds of the women you teach, and then link your lesson to their needs. Some felt needs may be related to their children, financial, friendships, illness and so forth. What they are thinking and feeling should be the launching pad for your lesson.

Step 4: Surface Real Need
Now the women should be ready for what you have prepared but you need to communicate to them the real need that will be answered by the lesson. Jesus intended to share with her the gift of salvation, but not until He made her aware of this real need (Jn. 4:16-20). Your women will need to recognize that the point of this lesson is the real need and will make a difference in some area of their lives.

Step 5: Satisfy Real Need
Only when the women are aware of their real needs should you proceed with the lesson, which will satisfy their real need. Jesus did this (Jn. 4:25-26). The result will be an interesting Bible study that addresses the needs of women.

This method may take more preparation time but it will be worth it when Bible study attendance and commitments to finish the study increase. The key is to make your lessons interesting and lead your women to embrace biblical truths that can change their lives".

In addition to her work at LifeWay, Christina serves as a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier. She is a member of Simeon Baptist Church in Antioch where she teaches Sunday school and provides training for staff and ministry leaders. She is also pursuing a doctorate in Christian Education and Leadership at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.  She has a passion for discipleship that leads to spiritual transformation, and helping others experience God in their hearts and lives.

Helpful Resources:

Transformed Lives: Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level

Hendricks, Howard. 1987. Teaching to Change Lives. Sisters, Oregon:Multnomah Publishers, Inc.

Wilkerson, Bruce. 1992. The 7 Laws of the Learner. Sisters, Oregon: Multnomah Publishers, Inc.

Helpful Articles:

Three Keys for Motivating Adults in Bible Study

Using Life Transitions as Teachable Moments
 

Did you miss the webcast? Don't worry! You can still view the recording by clicking here

Join Chris Adams, Pam Case & Paige Greene for 2011 Forum “Decades” Sneak Peek ….Because we are all in this together. Special guests will be speaker and author Esther Burroughs, LifeWay Women Event Project Coordinator Lauren Farmer, and Girls’ Ministry Specialist Pam Gibbs.

Join this panel of women leaders as they discuss issues of bridging the gap between generations of women in our church and community. We must understand the differences in the generations to be able to connect them.

Decades…because we are all in this together is our theme for this 16th women’s leadership forum that will take place in Nashville November 10-12, 2011. You won’t want to miss the forum or the web cast!

This is the fifth in a series of posts (click here for lesson one ,  two,  three, and four) discussing the 5 most valuable leadership lessons Martha Lawley , author of Attending the Bride of Christ: Preparing For His Return learned from the life of Peter. Are we so grateful to God for his ministry of restoration in our lives? Do you ever compare yourself to another leader who has something you think you’d like?...a characteristic, ability, or relationship?  Then this post is for you! 

The 5 leadership lessons include:

1.    Leadership is a Calling
2.    Leadership is Dynamic and Can be Messy
3.    Beware of Self Reliance
4.    God is in the Business of Restoration
5.    Comparing Ourselves to Others gets in the Way of Following God

Today we will conclude with a look at # 5: Comparing Ourselves to Others Gets in the Way of Following God

When Jesus fully and publicly restored Peter, He also gave Peter some insight into his future including what kind of death he would die. (John 21:18-19) Jesus assures him that although difficult things lie ahead, Peter would remain faithful to Christ.  Jesus knew that although Peter had failed before, in the future Peter would remain faithful. I’m encouraged to know that, with God, my past failures do not prevent future victories!

Interestingly, when Jesus reveals to Peter what will happen to him in the future, he looks around, see John and asks “what about him?” Jesus then asks Peter an important. Question: “What is it to you? You follow me!” (John 21:22)

Comparing ourselves to one another is a common problem in ministry. Comparing ourselves with others is not only destructive; it is meaningless. Comparing produces feelings of inferiority or pride or both. And perhaps more importantly, comparing can keep us from the path that God has uniquely designed for us.

I’m blessed to work with some of the most wonderful & gifted women in ministry from around the country. My role as a LifeWay author has given me the opportunity to get to know other LifeWay Bible study authors on a personal level. My role as a LifeWay trainer has blessed me with friendships among some of the most dynamic women leaders on the planet.

However – there is always a temptation to compare! How their ministry looks – what doors God has opened for them – doors He has chosen not to open for me. So I hear Jesus’ “What’s it to you?” loud and clear! What about you?

With God’s help I’m trying to stay focused on my unique calling – running the race marked out for me - and doing what He has called me to do. One of the ways God is working in this area of my life right now is by teaching me is to appreciate the uniqueness of my calling. He has designed something very special just for me just as He has designed something uniquely tailor-made for you!

I’m so thankful God let us see into the details of Peter’s life through Scripture – the good the bad and the ugly. I’ve learned a lot from the life of Peter. I’m so encouraged to know that Peter struggled but God never gave up on him!

www.marthalawley.com
martha@marthalawley.com
www.attendingthebride.com

Resources:

Women Reaching Women

Transformed Lives

Jesus on Leadership

Paul on Leadership

The Painful Side of Leadership

Is God Calling Me?

This is the fourth in a series of posts (click here for lesson one ,  two, and three) discussing the 5 most valuable leadership lessons Martha Lawley , author of Attending the Bride of Christ: Preparing For His Return learned from the life of Peter. Are we so grateful to God for his ministry of restoration in our lives? 

The 5 leadership lessons include:

1.    Leadership is a Calling
2.    Leadership is Dynamic and Can be Messy
3.    Beware of Self Reliance
4.    God is in the Business of Restoration
5.    Comparing Ourselves to Others gets in the Way of Following God

Today we’ll look at # 4: God is in the Business of Restoration!

In spite of Peter’s denial of Christ, God still had plans for him. He was not washed up or washed out! But he was in desperate need of restoration!

We know from Luke 24:34 Jesus appeared to Peter in private after His resurrection but since Peter’s failure was public Jesus also graciously provided a public restoration. In John 21:4-7; 15-22 records Jesus’ public restoration of Peter. I’m struck by the similarities between Peter’s original calling (Luke 5:1-11) and this reaffirmation of his calling. Don’t miss the personal touch here by Jesus- such a sweet tenderness towards Peter: recreating events certain to gently remind Peter of his original call to leadership. Perhaps Jesus was reinforcing that Peter’s call to leadership was still valid – that Peter’s betrayal had not voided it.

The exchange between Jesus and Peter has been the subject of many sermons and Bible commentaries. The word usage, the symbolism and the repetition communicate how intentional Jesus was in His restoration of Peter.

One thing all commentators seem to agree on is that Peter was a changed man. He is now much more reserved in his proclamation of devotion. Gone is the big talker – the man quick to make promises. Gone is the proud, self reliant Peter. He was indeed humbled, more reserved with his words.

Scripture reveals that Peter was grieved by the three-time repetition of Jesus’ question because it was a painful reminder of his previous three time denial. It was important that Peter face up to what he had done. Jesus restores us not by ignoring our failures, but rather by causing us to face squarely the failure, then challenging us to set our eyes on the work ahead!

The three-time repetition of Jesus’ question also gave Peter the chance to cancel out each denial with a fresh affirmation of love; opening the way for Peter to move forward with God.
Jesus exhorted Peter to “Feed My lambs . . . Tend My sheep”. This is the essence of our leadership call – to feed and tend God’s people. Peter’s failing did not void his calling. Christ still had plans for him!

Perhaps you feel you’ve failed God is some way and you are wondering if it is over for you as a leader. Or maybe you live in fear that someone will discover your failures and that restoration is not possible. I pray you will be as encouraged to know that God still has plans for you!

www.marthalawley.com
martha@marthalawley.com
www.attendingthebride.com

Resources:

Women Reaching Women

Transformed Lives

Jesus on Leadership

Paul on Leadership

 

This is the third in a series of posts( click here for lesson one and two) discussing the 5 most valuable leadership lessons by guest blogger Martha Lawley , author of Attending the Bride of Christ: Preparing For His Return. Perhaps this lesson on self reliance will hit close to home for you as it did for me!

The 5 leadership lessons include:

1.    Leadership is a Calling
2.    Leadership is Dynamic and Can be Messy
3.    Beware of Self Reliance
4.    God is in the Business of Restoration
5.    Comparing Ourselves to Others gets in the Way of Following God

Today let’s take a look at # 3: Beware of Self Reliance

Peter’s pride seemed to grow as quickly as the crowds following Jesus. Although Peter had experienced some ups and downs, his stubborn self-reliance continued to be a driving force in his leadership. Surely Jesus handpicked Peter for this leadership position because He knew Peter was up to the task. Right?

In Matthew 26: 31-35, Jesus speaks of His imminent betrayal. In response Peter proudly proclaims, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will!” (Verse 33) Even when Christ tells him of the denials to come, Peter self confidently responds, “Even if I have to die with you, I will never disown you.” (Verse 35)

What was the real problem here? It’s not that Peter was insincere – he was very sincere even passionate. The problem was that Peter was relying on himself – building himself up – even declaring his love for Jesus to be greater than the other disciples.

What Peter lacked was humility –an accurate understanding of his own human limitations and his desperate need for God. Luke tells us (Luke 22:31-32) that Satan had ask permission to sift Peter and that Jesus said He was praying for Peter. Yet there is no indication that Peter acknowledged the danger of Satan’s intentions or the power of Jesus’ offer of prayer support!

How often do we ignore God’s warning and His powerful provision – His offer of strength and encouragement? Instead we rush off in our own power and strength. This is the danger of self reliance and why God is so interested in growing our dependence on Him. We will never be able to fulfill our calling on our own power.

In spite of his passionate promises, Peter denied Christ 3 times. Peter learned an important lesson that night. He came to the end of his own resources. He now knew without a doubt he could not live up to his own promises or live out his calling under his own power. He needed to depend on God!

It was precisely the lesson Peter needed to learn before he would be ready to follow Jesus to the next stage of his calling! The same lesson you and I need to continually learn and re-learn as well. We cannot go where God wants to lead us on our own power!

www.marthalawley.com
martha@marthalawley.com
www.attendingthebride.com

Resources:

Women Reaching Women

Transformed Lives

Jesus on Leadership

Paul on Leadership

The Painful Side of Leadership

Is God Calling Me?

This is the second in a series of posts (click here to read the first post) discussing the 5 most valuable leadership lessons Martha Lawley , author of Attending the Bride of Christ: Preparing For His Return, has learned from the life of Peter.  Ask God to show you what He would have you learn as you read this leadership lesson.

Again the 5 leadership lessons include:

1.    Leadership is a Calling
2.    Leadership is Dynamic and Can be Messy
3.    Beware of Self Reliance
4.    God is in the Business of Restoration
5.    Comparing Ourselves to Others gets in the Way of Following God

Today we will look at # 2: Leadership is Dynamic and Can be Messy!

I like things to be neat and orderly – I prefer to avoid messes. After all aren’t leaders supposed to already have it all together?

Scripture reveals that Peter jumped head first into his call to leadership. He went all in! Perhaps the best illustration of Peter’s all or nothing commitment is when Jesus wanted to wash Peter’s feet and upon learning the significance of what Jesus was about to do, Peter asked for a bath!

Let’s take a few minutes to recall some of the ebb and flow of Peter’s growth in his call to leadership. You and I experience a similar ebb and flow – up and down in ministry. However, we are often taken by surprise, frustrated or discouraged. We usually fail to see how God is working in the ebb and flow.

Peter quickly became a part of Jesus’ inner circle along with James and John. His calling to leadership seemed to be going pretty well. Then one day something remarkable happened to Peter. Jesus asked an important question of the disciples – “Who do you say I am?” and it was Peter who moved to the head of the class with his understanding that Jesus was “the Christ, the son of God.” (Matt 16:16)

Jesus recognized and praised God’s work in Peter’s life as there was no other way for Peter to know who Christ was except from God. Then Jesus went on to Bless Peter! (Matthew 16: 17) Can you imagine what that felt like?

Perhaps you can recall a time when God’s hand was very evident in your ministry – when you felt particularly blessed. When I was new in my leadership calling I had a mountain top experience with God and thought “I’ve finally arrived!”  Like Peter on the Mount of Transfiguration, I wanted to build a hut for surely I was going to stay! Boy, was I mistaken! Some significant challenges awaited me! And I began to see how God used circumstances – both good and bad - to prepare me for what lied ahead.

With such successes, Peter’s confident self-reliance continued to grow. But not long after that high point in Peter’s calling, Jesus predicts his death and an upset Peter pulls Jesus aside and proclaims “this will never happen”! Jesus responds by rebuking Peter saying “Get behind me Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men” (Matthew 16:22-23)

I can just imagine Peter saying “What? Only a few days before, I was blessed – the golden boy! I wonder if Peter felt confused, hurt or misunderstood”? I know I have felt that way before.
Have you ever had a mountain top “God moment” and then just days or weeks (or maybe even hours) later realized that you no longer have your focus on things of God, but things of men? I have!

www.marthalawley.com
martha@marthalawley.com
www.attendingthebride.com

Resources:

Women Reaching Women

Transformed Lives

Jesus on Leadership

Paul on Leadership

The Painful Side of Leadership

Is God Calling Me?

Don’t miss this informative webcast March 15  12:00-1:00 PM Central Time

Join Chris Adams, Pam Case & Paige Greene for 2011 Forum “Decades” Sneak Peek ….Because we are all in this together. Special guests will be speaker and author Esther Burroughs, LifeWay Women Event Project Coordinator Lauren Farmer, and Girls’ Ministry Specialist Pam Gibbs.

Join this panel of women leaders as they discuss issues of bridging the gap between generations of women in our church and community. We must understand the differences in the generations to be able to connect them.

Decades…because we are all in this together is our theme for this 16th women’s leadership forum that will take place in Nashville November 10-12, 2011. You won’t want to miss the forum or the web cast!

This is a series of 5 blog posts by guest blogger Martha Lawley , author of Attending the Bride of Christ: Preparing For His Return. This is the first in the series of leadership lessons so watch in the future for the other 4 to follow. I know these will be a great blessing and challenge to you as a leader.

Of all the disciples I relate most to Peter – passionate, impertinent and always ready with a quick response. As much as I’d like to relate more to John – the beloved disciple – I am more of a Peter!

Bubbling over with curiosity, Peter often interrupted Jesus’ teaching with questions – some good and others “interesting” (Luke 12). Peter was always ready with a comment or suggestion. I’m thinking about the transfiguration of Christ – where Moses and Elijah appeared. It was Peter who suggested putting up shelters so they could all hang out together on the mountain top! (Luke 9:33)

Yes, Peter was far from perfect – just as you and I are far from perfect, yet God had a plan for Peter, a big plan – a very specific plan far beyond anything Peter could have imagined! This is the first in a series of five posts discussing the 5 most valuable lessons I’ve learned from the life of Peter. These leadership lessons are helping me become a better, more godly leader. Perhaps you can learn from them as well.

The 5 lessons include:
1.    Leadership is a Calling
2.    Leadership is Dynamic and Can be Messy
3.    Beware of Self Reliance
4.    God is in the Business of Restoration
5.    Comparing Ourselves to Others gets in the Way of Following God
 

Let’s look at #1: Leadership is a Calling

God has a plan for each of us - a unique plan specifically designed for us. Like Peter, we have been called by God into Christian leadership. Our calling is not something we have earned or deserve. Most of us would be considered unlikely leaders in the eyes of the world. And we would be the first to admit that our role as a godly leader has nothing to do with anything we have accomplished or achieved.

Luke 5:1-11 recounts Peter’s call to leadership. Many people gathered to hear Jesus teach that day. Jesus was calling all of them into a relationship with Himself – but only Peter, James and John were called into leadership that day!

Like Peter, James & John, you and I have been chosen by God – called by God to lead. We did not choose - God did! God chose you and called you to a ministry designed just for you! Just as He has called me to a unique ministry designed just for me.

Do you recall when God called you into leadership? Are you following that call?

www.marthalawley.com
martha@marthalawley.com
www.attendingthebride.com

Resources:

Women Reaching Women

Transformed Lives

Jesus on Leadership

Paul on Leadership

The Painful Side of Leadership

Is God Calling Me?

Recently at our Women’s Leadership Forum 2010  we had a panel answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts will address those and try to help answer them.  make sure to check out our past Women's Ministry Questions posts concerning : Team Leader Issues, Childcare, and Leaders with a Clogged Drain!
 

Today’s question is: What are some ways we can provide opportunities for women to share their story and testify to God’s faithfulness?

 2 Timothy 4:2 tells us to “proclaim the message; persist in it whether convenient or not; rebuke, correct, and encourage with great patience and teaching.  (HCSB)  Other versions say “In season or out of season”, meaning always everywhere we are to tell what God has done!

There are so many opportunities to use ongoing as well as spontaneous women’s activities as doors through which you encourage women to share what God is doing in their lives.

1.    Small Groups/Bible Studies: Make it a habit to ask each time you are together, “What’s God been telling you this week?” or “What is God doing in your life today?”  I have a women’s leader at my church that never fails to ask this question in each group I am in with her. Usually I am just barely making the meeting and taking a deep breath as I sit down. But this has constantly caused me to be watching for those times He is speaking and sharing those things with other women.

2.    Prayer Updates: As you share requests and pray for each other, always make a habit of asking how God is answering. Allow women to share vulnerably (which means you as a leader must also share vulnerably) what they are experiencing. Even the “wait” answers from God are times He is showing us incredible things about Him as we experience what Isaiah 40:31 says:  “but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not faint. (HCSB)

3.    Email or Facebook: Set up a group email to correspond during the week.  Ask your group members to share what God is saying daily as they are reading devotions, scripture or doing in-depth Bible study.   Or you can set up a private Facebook group where this can take place.

4.    Your stories: Share your stories and what God is doing in your life on an ongoing basis with the women you come into contact with. Always give God credit for what HE has done that day in your life. Share uplifting lessons as well as the more difficult ones so they see that real life is  made up of both and we can praise God in each situation.

5.    Story Night: Host an informal coffee chat time and have several women prepared to share a variety of stories. Then at smaller tables of women, have them share among those at their table. Once they hear how easy it is to tell their stories, they are much more willing to do so.

6.    Recognizing Stories: A chapter in our soon to be revised version of Transformed Lives  will discuss how to help women see how God has truly be present each step and in each milestone of their lives. As they discover their “God” stories that they thought just “happened”, they begin to see how each one has helped them become who they are today. And they see that God has a purpose for creating them that very way…a purpose of walking with Him and sharing Him wherever they are. Often they just don’t see God’s hand on parts of their lives, and helping them see He has used it all for His good helps them share their stories of His faithfulness. (Watch for the release of the book in November 2011)

In the comment box, share with our readers how YOU help women share their stories…of salvation, of joy, of crisis, if walking with God on a daily basis.


Women Reaching Women
Transformed Lives
 

You can read Random Thoughts Part 1, 2 , 3, 4, 5  and 6 that were previous posts. More thoughts that have blessed me and I pray will bless you as well.

1." If in the first waking moments of the day you learn to fling the door wide back and let God in, every public thing will be stamped with the presence of God." (Oswald Chambers)  

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me. Proverbs 8:17 (HCSB)

Lord, help me open wide the door to my heart and life to you today!

2.  "It's critical for us to understand: Jesus doesn't offer to improve us. He offers to let us die and then to inhabit our personalities with His presence."  (Chris Tiegreen)

"Therefore we were buried with Him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too may  walk in a new way of life. Romans 6:4 (HCSB) 

Lord, show me how to die to self today and allow you to fill my life totally.

 

As you read these, ask God how He wants you to respond to Him.
 

Helpful Resources:

Whispers of Hope, Beth Moore
Journey (devotional magazine for women)

Today’s post is a very honest perspective of the church and of women in the church. My prayer is that as you read our guest blogger and young adult woman, Mickey McCloud’s thoughts and feelings, ask God how He would want you to reach out to single women in your church.

I hear often that they feel like they do not have a place in our church and especially in our women’s groups and ministries. Mickey’s 5 helpful suggestions will get you to thinking about what you can do to reach out to these women as they visit and join our churches.

"I was terrified. In all of my 22 years, I had never attended church alone. I knew that if I was going to be successful in life after college, I needed to get plugged in somewhere. As I walked down the crowded hallways,  I could feel my face turn red, my hands sweat and my voice tremble as I forced out the words, “ Could you help me find a class?” to the sweet older man that I assume must have been an elder. He replied, “Well of course, sweetheart! Let’s go talk to someone who can help us”. As I followed this sweet man, whose feet must have been two sizes too big for his little frame, I felt at ease. As we approached the information desk, the woman behind the counter greeted me with a big smile. My elder friend explained to her that it was my first time visiting and I needed to know what class to attend. She then looked to me, her smile waning, and in a voice almost as quiet as a whisper she asked, “Are you alone? Are you single?” I found myself replying in a soft, embarrassed whisper.  Then it occurred to me, “Why was I whispering? I had nothing to be embarrassed of!”  I was suddenly very aware that my marital status had everything to do with what class I could and could not attend.  I was no longer a student where being single is acceptable and encouraged. I was in a church, where families dwell, and there was an entire separate room of people just like me down the hall. I couldn’t help but feel I was an outcast, rejected based on the bareness of my left ring finger.

We have trouble integrating ourselves into the community. We’re called upon to do 'free' babysitting for women’s Bible study, but rarely approached to attend. We’re expected to come to events or volunteer in the nursery, because we “must not have anything going on”. All of these are just emotions, and I know they do not reflect the attitudes of the women in the church, but at times those feelings are too real.

After a few months in the single's group, I had a conversation with a 35 year-old single man after he returned from a mission trip. He shared wonderful stories of the work they did during their time abroad, but he explained one of his greatest frustrations was that the church had enlisted a ‘chaperone’ to accompany the singles on their mission trip.  He asked me, “Why on earth does a 35 year -old man need a chaperone?” I was speechless. We got to chatting about whether or not a church would ever send a chaperone on a trip of married fathers? Probably not.  It got us wondering, “do marriage and children get you a ‘maturity card’? Must we be married and have children so the church will take us seriously and recognize our gifts for the Kingdom?” It was then I realized that this must all be a miscommunication, none of this could be real! Surely this is Satan's way of placing divisions in the Body...

I never want to take responsibility off of single women (or single men for that matter)! We absolutely have a responsibility to get involved and seek out opportunities in the church, however; I often wonder how many more of us would venture out of our Single Sunday School class if an older woman in the congregation approached us. There is no greater feeling than having someone notice you, invite you in, and ask for your help! We want to be used!

It's been ten months since I moved to Nashville, and I can happily report  I’m starting to find a place here. I made a decision to force myself into the congregation, and slowly but surely, I’m starting to feel I know people outside of the walls of my singlehood bubble. I've met some amazing women and I'm finding ways I can serve. It has been a tough season. One filled with feelings of aimlessness and frustration, but it has turned into a beautiful season. One where I realize that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I have so many new relationships with women who are cheering me on! I'm so thankful for this season in my life, and look anxiously ahead for all that the Lord has in store for me!

You may be involved in ministries very different than the one I have described. Perhaps you have a ministry busting at the seams with single women who give of their talents to your ministry each week. But if you don’t, and you’re worried you may have some young women who feel ‘unwanted’ in your congregation, here a few suggestions for engaging the single woman:

1.    Meet us- You see us. You know where our class meets. Come by and introduce yourself. Invite us to lunch or to your home. It means the world to us to meet you!
2.    Include us- We want mentors! We want to be invited to Bible study, Ladies’ retreat and fun outings. We are a whole lot more likely to come if we are asked!
3.    Help us find our place in the Body- It’s hard for us to know where we belong. If you see an opportunity, don’t hesitate to present it to us.
4.    Encourage our giftings- If you see something special about us that we can use for His glory, help us and encourage us to use it.
5.    Take us seriously. We want so badly to be a valued and integral part of the Body.

I think instead of whispering next time I'm asked, I'll shout it loud and proud saying, "Yes, I'm single!"

Got any single sons and grandsons? Just kidding.
 

Mickey McCloud is the newest member of the Women's Training and Events team at LifeWay. She was born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma, but moved to Texas to attend Abilene Christian University to major in Interpersonal Communication. Immediately following graduation, she came to intern at LifeWay for the women's team. She was thrilled when given the opportunity to stay at LifeWay and work on the Women's Training and Event's team as a Department assistant. She has a passion for women's ministry and is grateful to get to work alongside such wonderful Christian women.
 

Helpful Resources:

Women Reaching Women 

Transformed Lives