ARCHIVE
October 2011
Okay, are you like most of the women's ministry leaders who are of the boomer generation, are you wondering why young adult women are sometimes not attracted to what you offer? Have you asked yourself, and your team, "how will we pass the baton of leadership and ministry to the next generation if they aren't involved now?" This is a question I, along with hundreds of other boomer age leaders are asking right now. We are seeking answers and praying that God will help us to willingly yet faithfully pass leadership to young adult women.
From Official LifeWay Research and the book Lost and Found, Stetzer, Stanley & Hayes we learn about four markers that are important to grasp as leaders if we want to reach the next generation of young women for Christ. Those are community, depth, responsibility and connection. Let's look at each of those in this post and take them apart further in upcoming posts.
1. COMMUNITY: Together is Better
Young adults made these exact statements when asked how they feel about church involvement.. "There's No Place Like Home", "We're Family", "I'm All Alone in a Crowd", "You Don't Fit, So We Don't Care", "You're Struggling. I'm Struggling, No Games." These comments tell us that many times young adults do not feel connected to others in relationships at church, but they desperately want to be. They want people to be "family" to them when they interact with Christian friends.
2. DEPTH (and Content): Let's Go Deeper
Often, young women will not be satisfied with surface theology. They want to truly understand the hard stuff of the Bible and of Jesus, and grapple with it. But, they want to interact in discussion, not be lectured. Some of their comments reflect this: "Let Me Safely Join the Conversation", "Help Me Find My Way". We must not make them feel less spiritual if they do not know the right lingo.
3. RESPONSIBILITY: Let's Make a Difference
Young adults today truly want to make a difference in their communities and their world. Involve them in God-sized tasks that will change lives and they will commit their time. Listen to their comments: "Wow me, befriend me, and let's make a difference", "I'm hungry to be challenged," "What are you selling? I don't want to join a country club. I want to join Christianity, a movement that draws me in," "There's got to be more than this-something more than just my little world." Show them how they can make a difference in their community and the Kingdom at the same time.
4. CONNECTION: Bring Us Together
Young adults are looking for mentors and friends of all ages who have gone through experiences they are about to engage. Older women think they have nothing to offer young women of today, but that is just not true. What life experiences have they had that would resonate with a young woman about to face it, or who is in the midst of it already? Help your older women discover their God stories and learn how to connect with other women through them.
Read more here: LifeWay Research Finds Unchurched 20-Somethings More Open Than Older Unchurched
LifeWay Research Uncovers Reasons 18 to 20 Year Olds Drop Out of Church
Complete research results for young adults.
And visit our young adult web site to find ministry helps and young adult resources at Threads.
How are you building community, depth, responsibility and connection among your young women? I'd love to hear your ideas. Watch for future posts where we will delve deeper into each of these issues and discover practical tips for reaching our young women.
Recently at a YOULead women’s leadership training, we had a panel of leaders answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts address those and try to help answer them.
Today’s question is: I feel stuck between leaving key ministry leadership positions unfilled and lowering my standards for leadership. Any suggestions?
Our inclination is to just "fill" positions rather than praying for God to move people into positions. When we do that, we may be taking the position ourselves because no one else will do it, or we "encourage" (i.e. beg) someone to take the responsibility. I wonder how often we get ahead of God and while He is getting someone ready for that ministry, we have already filled it!
Wouldn't it be better to wait on Him, wait on the position or ministry activity, and watch God fill it with the one He has called to that place? Give God time to work and wait on His timing before filling positions out of desperate need.
Another thing to keep in mind is that there must be various options of leadership responsibilities. Some ongoing positions, others just long enough to accomplish a particular project, or a 4-6 week leadership responsibility. Offer co-leadership positions or apprentice ones. In that way, you make it feasible for some women who cannot step into an ongoing, "lifetime" responsibility!
What other ideas do you have for finding God's woman for the positions you feel should be filled?
Dawn Stephens is the Associate Minister of Local Disciplemaking and Women’s Small Groups at The Church at Brook Hills, in Birmingham, Alabama
"I am thinking there is a story in this experience as I am helping a woman in a neighboring community dig through the remains of her home after the devastating tornadoes of April 27, 2011.
She and her mother, niece and her niece’s infant daughter were all huddled in the hallway of her home when these monstrously devastating tornadoes literally leveled her home. All that was left was the interior walls (where they were huddled) and the foundation. Her car was now in the kitchen, the roof and all four walls gone.
Our church began helping these families almost immediately with the basic job of salvaging whatever they could from this now wasteland of a neighborhood to begin a new life elsewhere.
A fellow church member and I volunteered to go with this lady back to her home one more time to search for her eyeglasses and a new iron she had never opened. As we drove up to her house, I’d never seen devastation like this!
We started climbing into the house and looking in the general area of where these items might be. We looked as long as we could until the smell (as it had rained earlier in the week) and heat took us over. She conceded that these items were probably gone with the wind.
We asked was there anything else she would like to look for before we left and she said “Yes”! “Could we look in the kitchen cabinets for my mother’s bowl and my stock pots?”
We said “Yes” and after climbing over the hood of her car to get into the kitchen, we began looking into the cabinet. We found her mom’s bowl and after digging in the back of the bottom cabinets, found her stock pots. She was so excited she began telling us the recipes that she always made each year in those pots, caramel icing for her caramel cake for Christmas and her hamburger soup.
As we pulled those pots out of the cabinets, the scripture struck me, “ But collect for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves don’t break in and steal.” Matthew 6:20
And to add to that verse, where tornadoes do not suck away, never to be seen.
As the seasons change and we all begin to clean out closets, cull out unused clothes and items that we simply do not need, ponder this verse also, “ Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Make money-bags for yourselves that won’t grow old, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys.” Luke 12:33
I pray that you join me in praying and asking God to help us both to not put our stock in our pots, so when those pots or material things are suddenly taken away, we know our treasure is secure in God and His love for us. Lead the women God has entrusted to you to do the same!
Dawn has been involved in women’s ministry in both volunteer and staff positions for many years. She is the Associate Minister of Local Disciplemaking and Women’s Small Groups at The Church at Brook Hills, in Birmingham, Alabama. Her desire is to train, equip and encourage women to use their God given gifts and abilities to show Christ’s love and grace to our world. She graduated from the New Orleans Baptist Theological Seminary Women’s Ministry certificate program, has served on the Alabama Baptist State Women’s Ministry leadership team, and serves as a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier.
Recently at a YOU Lead women’s leadership training, we had a panel of leaders answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts address those and try to help answer them.
Today’s question is: I have a team of ladies. They work , have families and serve a lot. We have monthly meetings and basically discuss events-plan, pray together, but 2 hours flies by. Where do I find time to build into and mentor my team members?
Leaders, pouring into your team should be one of your number one priorities. First we must care about the heart and soul of our leaders, otherwise we just focus on what they do in ministry. When we take the time to first shepherd and disciple them, then their leadership is based on who they are in Christ and what they do is the overflow of that walk with Him. As you build community within your leadership team, you develop a “family” who serves together for a greater common purpose that they couldn’t accomplish alone.
One thing my women’s minister does as we begin our 1 ½ hour meeting is to ask this question: What is God teaching you right now? What’s He said to you this week? She expects us to be growing as we are serving. She prays for and with us and sets the standard for being servant leaders.
A year or so ago at our annual leader retreat, we spent almost the whole time fasting and praying together. This year we spent more time planning but still had that spiritual focus even then.
What I would suggest, is that you allow time each meeting to discuss spiritual things and provide a “word from the Word” to them, then perhaps you use a leadership book of some sort to read and share leadership skills and information. Follow that with the planning.
Using an agenda, even including time slots, helps the team understand where you are going and about how much time will be spent on each item. If you need more time to discuss certain items, do that outside this meeting with maybe just one or two who serve on that part of the team. Following up on email also cuts down on time spent in the meeting on certain items.
Another thing our women’s minister does for the team is to keep in touch between meetings by sending updates and inspirational thoughts. You can continue to share, mentor and pour into your team as you just share things God is teaching you, devotions that come to your inbox, or by texts throughout the week.
Keep in mind that one of your jobs as a team leader is to take care of the “small group” God has entrusted to you. You will truly earn respect and support and they will do most anything for you when they see you care about them spiritually as well as through their leadership and serving abilities.
Sharing a vision God has given you is not always easy. Read this post by Simone Monroe, Director of Women’s Ministries at Lake Pointe Church in Dallas, Texas,
Every leader knows that vision is a huge part of leadership. Casting the vision is an art form for a leader. Keeping it before the team is something that is necessary to build the momentum needed for the vision to be accomplished.
Part of the difficulty in learning to cast vision is that leaders are not taught specifics of how to go about casting vision. The vision is something that must first resonate with the leader. It is the destination for team and ministry in the future. It must then be cast by the leader for the team until they “buy in” and have embraced the vision too. This casting of vision is a process and not a one-time occurrence though.
There are some basic principles for casting vision effectively:
1. The first principle is for the leader to “see it” and be able to clearly and concisely articulate the vision and the purpose for it. This takes time alone with the Lord before telling anyone about the vision, with the exception of a close advisor who might assist in clarifying the vision.
2. The next step is to begin articulating the vision to individuals and small groups from the team who are influencers. The leader should choose wisely as she first shares this vision. She should share it in small increments and repeatedly with these individuals until they can “see it” too. Then they must be able to articulate it clearly. Not until they do, should they attempt to share it with anyone. At this point the leader has advocates for the vision other than herself. She has others talking to individuals with whom they have influence concerning this same vision.
3. The next step is to share the vision with the whole team. The challenge comes when the leader is able to “see” far ahead of where the ministry, or team, or both are at present. Knowing how to communicate the vision without scaring those that accept change very slowly is difficult at best. The leader who is able see far down the road ahead with this vision can begin to appear like the enemy to those she is leading. When the leader shares too much of the vision at one time with followers, she is gets “too far out front” of the team or her “ranks”. This can cause her to appear as the enemy.
Be sure to realize that the team as a whole does not “see” what you as the leader can “see”. Therefore, it is essential not to share too much too quickly with your team. You must take them by the hand and lead them one step at a time to where you want them to go. These steps help to cast perfect vision.
Simone Monroe, as well as serving as Director of Women’s Ministries at Lake Pointe Church in Dallas, Texas, is a Global Strategist for ProvenWay Ministries, and LifeWay Ministry Multiplier. As a speaker, conference leader, and freelance writer, she is also a member of the Association of Women’s Ministry Professionals. Simone has earned a Masters degree in Christian Leadership and a Certificate in Women’s Leadership from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary. Simone’s passion is teaching and developing women to fulfill their God-given potential. She enjoys presenting God's Word in a fresh and relevant way in order to encourage growth in the lives of her listeners. Her two sons, their wives, and her five grandchildren are the light of her life.
Transformed Lives: Revised Edition
Visioneering, Andy Stanley
Your church can begin a small-group ministry to women in your church and community. Keep these seven suggestions from Women Reaching Women in mind as you start small groups:
1. Pray for each other and become sensitive to personal needs. Prayer is key to any ministry, especially during the startup stage, when wisdom and guidance from the Lord are essential. A small prayer group may become the catalyst for other groups.
2. Survey the women of your church. In order to identify needs and design appropriate groups, listen to the women of your church and community. In doing so, you may choose not to duplicate other groups and start new ones. In any case, your local needs - not someone else's model - should determine your agenda.
3. Develop Bible study groups as a foundation. Bible study is the most common type of women's small group. A personal commitment to the Lord and His Word should be expressed through participation in systematic Bible study. Christian women are interested in spiritual growth and enrichment which can be promoted through group involvement.
4. Keep missions and community outreach a priority. Women's enrichment ministry should include missions groups with a focus on exciting and relevant education, awareness, and involvement.
5. Work closely with your church staff. Responsibility for leadership of the church has been assigned to staff members. Seek their wise counsel. Women's groups are part of the total church program.
6. Find and train dedicated leaders. God will raise up women to give leadership to the groups in your church. Be alert for willing workers and assist them in training for their job. Be particularly sensitive to women who have never held a leadership position. New ministries often uncover new leaders.
7. Hold a church-wide special event to promote the groups. Many women will respond to a one-time activity before making a longer-term commitment. A special event attracts a larger number of women who can learn about small-group opportunities. For example, perhaps a "Preview Day" would be appropriate to overview options offered during this time frame. Offer information and register women on this day.
This article was adapted from a chapter written by Dr. Rhonda Kelley in Women Reaching Women: Beginning and Building a Growing Women's Ministry, a foundational resource for women's ministry leaders.
When? November 10-12, 2011
Where? LifeWay Christian Resources, Nashville, TN
Who? Speakers Tammie Head, Esther Burroughs, Jennifer Rothschild, Chris Adams, and Kelly Minter along with worship leaders Travis Cottrell. Also, hear from workshop leaders in over 40 topics relevant for women’s ministry leaders.
By attending our prayer is that you will…
1. Understand the uniqueness of each generation of women in your church.
2. Gain practical insights for connecting all generations of women for spiritual growth and ministry
3. Commit to connect the generations...for the future!
Find out all the details here.
Don’t miss this informative and timely web cast for girls ministry leaders this THURSDAY October 13, 2011 12:00-1:00 PM Central Time.
Inside Look at Outside Expectations (Eating Disorders and Body Image) with guest Constance Rhodes, and hosted by Chris Adams, Women’s Ministry Specialist & Girls Ministry Specialist, Pam Gibbs. This is as live web cast so you will be able to send in questions to be addressed during the webcast. Click here to register!
Diets. Plastic surgery. Anorexia. Unrealistic expectations. In a culture that focuses on outward appearance, women and girls alike wrestle with accepting their bodies as created by God. Join us as we dialogue with Constance Rhodes, speaker, author, and fellow struggler as we talk about how our culture is impacting girls' (and women’s) view of their bodies and themselves as a whole.
This is part two of a post on the challenges of conflict resolution within the church written by Martha Lawley, author of Attending the Bride of Christ. Read part one here.
In my first post we considered the importance of distinguishing between facts, feeling and opinions/perceptions. For successful resolution of conflict each of these must be addressed.
So how do we go about this sorting process and get to the real issues that must be addressed? Below are some practical suggestions to facilitate a healthy dialogue in which facts, feelings and opinions can be sorted out and God honoring solutions can be discovered.
1. Seek Biblical Guidance
A good place to begin is Matthew 5:23 and Matthew 18:15-17.
2. Find Common Ground
It may be helpful for the parties to identify the common ground - that is, the goals and interests they share. Identifying common ground can help refine the area of disagreement and serves as a basis for resolving differences. Sadly, we often skip this important step.
3. Establish Guidelines
Without guideliness, the process can quickly deteriorate:
Agree that now is a good time to attempt to resolve the conflict. Allow "prime time" when energy is high and motivation is positive, not when you are angry or tired or trying to meet a deadline to adjourn.
Share the common goal with everyone involved. The goal of the process is to honor God by seeking deeper understanding of one another and discovering better solutions.
Review the ground rules for maintaining trust and respect for others. Discuss the specific issue or specific behavior, not the person, personality or motivation. Allow everyone to share their concerns. Encourage listening to understand and discourage interrupting.
Focus on the present. Rather than focus on what happened in the past, consider what needs to be done now to solve the problem.
Agree on which sources of information will be used. For example, rumor and speculation is not a useful source of information. Acceptable sources of information should be reliable and verifiable.
Provide "face-saving" way out. Don't corner the other person. Always leave an opening for a graceful way to resolve the issue.
Navigating the rough waters of conflict is always a challenge. Sometimes you have to agree to disagree. At other times, a trial period to see how something works out might be useful.
Being a true peacemaker – seeking to resolve conflict God’s Way - takes time and dedication. It is not for the faint of heart and there are no short cuts. However, the benefits of genuine resolution and restoration are well worth it.
What about you? Do you have any conflict resolutions tips to share? I would love to hear from you!
Martha Lawley speaker, author and Bible study leader from Worland, Wyoming, formerly served as the Women’s Consultant for the Utah-Idaho Southern Baptist Convention until her family moved to northern Wyoming. She contributed to the women’s leadership books,Transformed Lives: Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level and Women Reaching Women: Revised and Expanded edition, published by LifeWay, and has written numerous articles for LifeWay’s Women’s Ministry web site. She is a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier and serves her local church in various areas of leadership, and is a member of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Executive Committee
Martha Lawley, author of Attending the Bride of Christ and who has taught on this subject often, has provided some valuable help for us as leaders regarding conflict. (Second part will post October 7.)
One of my favorite parts of LifeWay’s YOU Lead Training Event is the panel discussion. Participants ask such great questions. Unfortunately we don’t always have time to answer every question.
A very interesting question was raised at a recent YOU Lead that we were unable to address. Because of the importance of the subject, I thought it might be worthwhile to address this question on the blog. This is the first of a two part posting, so be sure to tune back in for part 2.
Question: “Some women are not rational. What is the best approach for dealing with someone who spins the facts? Speaking specifically about conflict.”
You may have noticed that conflict is complicated. By the time an issue or misunderstanding becomes a full blown conflict, a combination of factors are in play. These factors usually fall into one of the following categories: facts (includes accurate as well as inaccurate or incomplete facts), feelings (our emotional response to the facts) or opinions/perceptions (our interpretation or view of the facts). Spinning the facts generally happens when people add their feelings and opinions to the facts.
Perhaps the following example will illustrate my point: Susan has missed the last two special events planning team meetings (fact). Karen, another member of the team is frustrated and angry (feeling) because Susan’s absence has left Karen with more things to do (fact). Karen heard Susan went to a movie with a friend instead of attending the last meeting (inaccurate fact). Karen believes that Susan is not committed to the group (opinion) and as a result has said some hurtful things about Susan to other members of the team (fact). Although Susan has not felt comfortable sharing with the group (feeling) she is struggling with some medical issues that doctors have so far been unable to diagnose (fact). Word of Karen’s criticism has made it back to Susan who is hurt (feelings) and believes she needs to resign from the special events planning team (opinion). Abby, the team leader, has become aware of this problem but does not know how to address it so, as of yet, has done nothing (fact).
A common mistake leaders make in attempting to resolve conflict is refusing to address “feelings” or “opinions/perceptions”. They believe the best way to resolve an issue is to deal only with the “facts”. However, the successful resolution of conflict usually requires addressing all three: facts, feelings and opinions/perceptions.
As conflict heats up, facts, feelings and opinions/perceptions tend to end up in one big, tangled heap. An important first step in the resolution process is sorting through this heap and separating out what is accurate fact, what is feeling and what is opinion/perception. Why bother? Because all three must be addressed. However, each needs to be addressed separately and should not be given the same weight. In resolving conflict, facts are very important. Clear, verifiable facts help us understand the problem and provide the foundation for a workable solution. However, people’s feelings (their emotional respond to the facts) and their opinions/perceptions (their view the facts) must be discussed and acknowledged before some in the group can successfully move ahead to resolution. In some cases where emotions are running particularly high you may need to address feelings first because some people will not be open to discussing the facts until their feelings have been acknowledged.
In my next post we will look at some suggestions for facilitating a healthy dialogue in which facts, feelings and opinions can be sorted out and God honoring solutions can be discovered.
Martha Lawley speaker, author and Bible study leader from Worland, Wyoming, formerly served as the Women’s Consultant for the Utah-Idaho Southern Baptist Convention until her family moved to northern Wyoming. She contributed to the women’s leadership books,Transformed Lives: Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level and Women Reaching Women: Revised and Expanded edition, published by LifeWay, and has written numerous articles for LifeWay’s Women’s Ministry web site. She is a LifeWay Ministry Multiplier and serves her local church in various areas of leadership, and is a member of the Southern Baptist Convention’s Executive Committee
If you missed this live informative web cast: Women's Ministry in Transition with women's ministry leaders Deb Douglas, Martha Lawley, Julie Woodruff, and LifeWay Women Event Project Coordinator Lauren Farmer on September 6th, you can still watch the live recording here.
Women's ministry is constantly evolving to meet the changing needs of women in our culture. Gain insights into simplifying the framework of discipleship that leads to transformational ministry. Discuss the importance of assessing and encouraging spiritual growth as we prepare for Christ's return. Join Chris Adams, Pam Case and Paige Greene as they speak with some key women's leaders about learning to deal with transition in our culture and ministries with women.
