Recently at a YOU Lead women’s leadership training, we had a panel of leaders answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts address those and try to help answer them. 
   
Today’s question: What are some ideas for helping hurting women? Do you recommend support groups?

Most of us, as women’s leaders are not trained counselors. Often when faced with the crises women experience in life, we often feel so inadequate to help. I want to suggest some helpful resources and ideas to help you prepare to minister to women in your sphere of influence.

1.    Share and document women’s stories. Often you will hear women share one on one or in small groups, specific experiences they have had and how they have navigated through them. Often they share how God led and equipped them to face issues they never thought they would have to face. Encourage these women to share their stories often (always with prayer and discretion) as the Holy Spirit leads. Then ask if they would be willing to help women who are facing similar crises and who just need someone to walk with them through it. I believe mostly women just need to know there is another woman who understands her situation and who is a picture of hope because she has made it (or is making it) through the crisis. Then, as you come across women in need, you have a listening ear and someone who will pray for them as they walk together. Encourage women to share testimonies in corporate gatherings from time to time, so women who are hurting alone and in silence will know someone else in your church has experienced something similar to the one they are facing.

2.    Don’t assume the role of a professional counselor. Know when to refer to professional help and when to set healthy boundaries. A couple of resources I recommend are: A Trusted Friend…When it Matters Most, a Bible study women can go through together to become more equipped to help hurting friends. For your leaders, use Women Reaching Women in Crisis (comes in download and print versions and you can make copies of either version to have 3 sets to use with your team). This resource equips you in general on referrals, boundaries, etc. as well as specific issues such as post abortion trauma, chemical addictions, sexual addictions (for her or her spouse), depression, prodigal children, domestic violence, and?????. Bev Hislop has also written a great book called Shepherding Women in Pain.

3.    Yes, support groups are healthy when led in a healthy way. To talk over issues in common is so helpful, but it must be more than just a “this is so hard” discussion. It must move from “this hurts” to how do we make it through and even thrive in Christ in the mean time. Breaking Free is a great study to help women struggling with all types of strongholds. Recovering from the Losses of Life is helpful to anyone dealing with any type of loss. This one in particular helped me deal with a relationship that had temporarily ended and I had to get past it to move on in the Lord. We must redirect women to the Bible to find the real help they need no matter what the crisis.

I can’t tell you how much my friend was to my own journey as she shared her life and experience of a painful struggle with a daughter. I watched this wonderful godly mom navigate her crisis for several years before I ever realized one day I would walk in her shoes and would desperately need what she had taught me. And I needed her as I walked my journey to just walk with and pray for me as I’d prayed for her all those years without really understanding what she was going through.

Each story the Lord allows into any of His daughters’ lives is one He can use to minister to someone else.

What do you do to help hurting women?

Additional Helpful Resources:
Transformed Lives
Women Reaching Women

Recently at a YOU Lead women’s leadership training, we had a panel of leaders answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts address those and try to help answer them. 
   

Today’s question is: For Women’s Ministry Basics, it was mentioned that one of the benefits of women’s ministry is that it helps new women find their niche. What are some things that the church and women’s ministry can do to help get them connected?

If women do not feel like they “belong” to a group and are “needed” in their new church, they can easily get lost.  We must intentionally get to know these women personally, see what their needs, gifts and heart’s passions are, then network them into the places where they can both grow and serve.

Some women’s ministries have a “new member shepherding” team to accomplish this. Each team member is assigned a specific Sunday, or set of Sundays, and if any women join the church on their day, they personally invest in the woman. They will have 5-7 “touches” with that woman including a visit in her home to take her information about the church and answer questions, perhaps a follow up text or phone call, invitation and escort to the next women’s event, and other connections. The point is to find out what her immediate needs are so those can be met, hear where she has served before in church and find out what her gifts and skills are so she can find a place to serve, and discover ways to help her build a network of community, growth and ministry.

I have a women’s minister friend who has “tea and chat” time with new women. It’s an opportunity for women to set up an appointment, visit the women’s minister in her office, and spend time sharing and asking questions. 

Another important aspect is a new member survey that can be taken to the new woman’s home to fill out and keep in a database so that it can be referenced as needs arise. Most of all, we just want to make sure we do not miss meeting a particular need a new member might have, but at the same time help her find various ways to connect to grow and serve. 

You can find a chapter on this very topic in our leadership book, Transformed Lives: Taking Women’s Ministry to the Next Level.

Women Reaching Women

I recently visited with a women’s ministry leader who shared a concern with me and asked for some advice. Maybe as a leader you too have faced this type of leadership issue with a Bible study leader or other team member.

Here was the issue:  “This morning, I got an email from one of the women who has been facilitating Beth Moore Bible studies.  June is one of the women God has used me to help raise up to facilitate women's Bible studies to in our church. She stated to me that she has the upcoming year of Beth Moore Bible studies all planned.  I then emailed her back reminding her she has good ideas and how the team will discuss her ideas and suggestions at our next meeting. I got a second email back and she said, "I will be doing them with others or by herself."  OUCH!  What advice can you give me?”

I wonder about who all has been included in vision casting for the ministry? If the small group Bible study leaders were not, they may not understand the purpose and direction for leading the women. Sometimes women go to Bible study, year after year, without much transformation and very little giving back, serving, or leading coming from the attendees. Perhaps if you meet with your women's small groups leaders to pour into them, let them share their hearts with you, and have them share why they lead the groups they lead, that might begin to get them to think about how the participants are or are not growing. It will also help them connect with each other and the other women’s ministry team members. 

One thing we always want to do is see where the hearts of women are, where their passions and gifts are, and match those with ministry. We must also connect that with the purpose of the church and the purpose of women’s ministry which should directly support the purpose of the church.  

You might also think about how your church as a whole does leadership--how do others serve in the structure of the church? How does the pastor fit into the direction for all leadership? Does he provide direction at all? 

Just talking with the small group leaders like this Bible study leader and getting her into the conversation might help. Otherwise she may just think you decide what will happen regarding Bible study and tell her what to do. Perhaps even asking her to come share with your team why she has chosen what she has chosen to teach, pray with her about it as a team, ask her how she will help develop leaders out of this group, and how to include even more women in Bible study, will help her feel needed and that God is using her to help others understand scripture.

If none of this works, there may be a different type of underlying issue. Continue praying as a team on how to encourage all your leaders at the same time making sure the right ones are in place.

Recently at a YOU Lead women’s leadership training, we had a panel of leaders answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts address those and try to help answer them. 

Today’s question is: In addition to prayer, how do you affirm whether you are moving down a path to which God has called you or if you are “seeing” affirmation because it’s what you want to do?

Wouldn’t it be nice if always, the handwriting was clearly on the wall and addressed personally to us by name?  But, if that’s the way God worked, I wonder if we would truly seek Him and study His Word for direction?

You might want to read this post from January 6, Women Finding Their Calling. Next, I’d do several things in addition to prayer:

 1.    Specifically ask God if He is leading you in this way.

2.    Confirm what He is telling you with Scripture.

3.    Ask the advice of godly women in leadership who know you and who will pray for you.

4.    Be in accountability with someone who will pray you through this decision.

5.    Don’t barge the doors down. God will open them, you will not have to beat them down!

6.    If you notice doors opening, ask God to confirm your next step. Even ask Him to close the door very obviously if it’s not what you should do.

7.    Continually seek to know HIM primarily, not just seek to know the answer.

8.    Know that sometimes God may open a door that doesn’t work out the way you thought. But if He opened and you obediently followed, then He may have something to teach you even if it is a difficult journey or if the door later slams shut.

9.    Continue to trust Him fully as you learn all He has for you as you seek His call daily as well as in the bigger picture of ministry!

Resources:

Is God Calling Me, Jeff Iorg

The Power of the Call, Henry T. Blackaby & Henry Brandt

Beautifully Gifted: Equipping Today’s Women for the High Calling of God, Angela Bisignano

Women Reaching Women, Chris Adams

Recently at a YOU Lead women’s leadership training, we had a panel of leaders answering questions submitted by attendees. Several past and upcoming posts address those and try to help answer them. 

Today’s question is: I come from a small church and I have been put in charge of the women’s ministry for 8 months or so now. I was never trained to be a leader. What tools are out there for a person like me? It’s hard to train other leaders when I lack training myself.

There are quite a few answers and formats for what this leader asked so here goes:

 1.       You have been created especially to do what God has called and led you to do. So, make sure you are living out your calling.  Sometimes we are “put into positions” that God has NOT called us to fill! Ask for discernment and clarifying of your personal call to serve Christ.

 2.       Get a one LifeWay’s women’s leadership books and use as a personal development tool. Then teach it to your team members, chapter by chapter. Or get copies for the team and divide the chapters up. Have different leaders present the material in each chapter as a way of training each other. Look at Women Reaching Women, Transformed Lives or Women Reaching Women In Crisis as possibilities. Also, look at Bev Hislop's books, Shepherding a Woman's Heart and Shepherding Women in Pain.

 3.     Attend and/or take you team to a training opportunity. Check out local ministries to see when they offer training. One resource is your Southern Baptist state convention leader whether you are in an SBC church or not.  See link here for contact information. Check out any LifeWay training event, especially YOU Lead  and our Women’s Leadership Forum  .

 4.       Read women’s ministry blogs. LifeWay Women offer two blogs. One for leaders Women Reaching Women and one for all women, All Access. Watch what other women’s leaders and author  are writing (I am not listing others here as I know I will leave out someone!).

 5.       Watch web casts such as LifeWay Women Live . Each month we address various topics that are beneficial to women’s ministry leaders. We already have 2012 scheduled and ready to go and are beginning planning 2013!

 6.       Many seminaries now offer women’s ministry leadership training. Check out these seminaries for information.  Also check out  Western Seminary .

7. Read, read, read. As long as we read and learn, we will grow as a leader. And the MOST IMPORTANT reading of course is the Bible. As you grow spiritually, your leadership grows as well!