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One thing we try at the evening meal is ask them to share the 3 best things that happened at school today. Sometimes we also ask what was the worst part about school. It is always good to follow that one up with a positive thing though so their focus isn’t on the negative.

In my own experience, I hear most of what’s in their minds and on their hearts when I lay down at night with them and talk at bedtime. My 11 yr old boy and 7 yr old girl turn into little chatterboxes at bedtime. So I always try to have extra time after prayers to just be in there with them.
IT IS PRECIOUS TIME.

Another thing I do is: Whatever they do.
Whether it’s putting together legos, dressing an American Girl doll, digging for worms, or shooting hoops in the cul-de-sac — they talk a lot when I’m in their element.

And there’s always the laundry and the errands and the LIFE that has to happen in between, but that will ALL be there when they’re grown and gone on their own. I’m not wasting a second.

The book about the love languages of children is a good adjunct for figuring out what touches your child’s soul, as is the book Shepherding A Child’s Heart. And I cannot say enough about the little two dollar book at Lifeway, You Have What It Takes (it’s a teeny little book for dad’s to read, but MY GOODNESS, great for a mom to read too!!)

I cannot wait for that DVD! :) My four girls are all so different, I have lots of different kinds of conversations with them. My oldest rarely talks, so when she does (usually late at night or when I am on the computer), I MUST stop and listen.

I’ve been trying to ask specific questions that require more than a yes or no- What was something that was hard for you today? What happened today that made you feel good about yourself? Did you see someone who needed you today? How would you feel about pouring me a Diet Coke? :)

OK, this is what happens at my home, perhaps someone can relate…oh and we have four children, ages 10, 8, 5 and 2.

Get engrossed in a task or occupied with a book or focused on something else (without desiring interruption) and IT NEVER FAILS! They want to talk right then. Not only does God have a sense of humor, but He also is teaching this child of His some patience. I cannot say that I always am kind in my listening response. But every day I make more and more headway.

I have two girls and am very excited to get my hands on this study!

My girls are only 4 and 1 so I don’t have much experience having any deep discussions with them yet. Though I have started with my oldest trying to find out how much she actually understood about God.

I definitely need some help!

I don’t have kids of my own but what works with my nieces is to ask them specific things about their day - who did they sit with at lunch, what games did they play at recess. etc… Lavonda’s advice was good - doing stuff with them helps. I have that advantage being an aunt and not a parent - when I am with them I don’t have to do anything else, just be with them.

They grow up so fast - these conversations are absolutely precious!

My kids are still pretty little - 6, 3, and 18 months - so we’re only just beginning to have REAL conversations. Our six year old is a chatterbox, so if I wait long enough, I usually get the info I’d like to have. He definitely doesn’t like me to ask him about school when he first gets home - it’s almost like he needs an unwinding time first. (Apparently I was the opposite as a child - my mom would begin bracing herself about an hour before we all got home for ME and my BIG MOUTH).

Our middle son is 3 and he is a CLOWN. NO serious conversations happening with him anytime soon. Except that he does get excited when he learns a new bible lesson at church, and we hear for a week or two about how “God is our KING” or “God doesn’t like lying”, or some such thing. But so far, it’s mostly just hi-jinks with him. (He takes after his Daddy, who is pretty much unable to have a serious conversation EVER!)

My daughter is only 18 months old, so our conversations with her consist of “up?” “down?”, “eat”, “bottle”, and ELMO!!! (She loves that red furry guy). I look forward to the day that she starts talking a mile a minute - I can only hope that she’ll have a BIG MOUTH too! :-)

Karilynn’s comment reminded me of something one of my friends does with her family. Every night at the dinner table they play the ‘hi-lo’ game. Each person (parents too) have to say what was the least favorite part of their day that day and what was their favorite part of the day. It’s kind of fun! and they all talk. even the parents. (sometimes we’re quiet too.)

My 6 y.o. daughter is all about clothes. Perhaps it sounds shallow, but some of our best bonding times are in the Little Girls’ Dept. in Target. I adore her showing me her favorite things and how excited she gets over sequined shoes.

I used to spend the majority of the time on the car on my cell phone. In fact, I would purposely hold-off on returning phone calls until I was in the car, because I thought that I was making the best use of my time. One day it hit me that I was missing out on some really good conversation time with my children. In fact, when I was young, time in the car with my mom was some of the best,un-interrrupted conversations. I now make it a point to not talk on the phone while I’m in the car with the kids. I encourage any of you moms to put the cell phone away while you’re in the car - your kids have a lot to say!

We eat dinner together every night, and part of our routine is to talk about the best part of our day. My girls end up sharing lots, because they tell us part of their day and then stop and say, “Oops! That wasn’t the best part—it was this.”

By the time they’re done, we’ve heard multiple vignettes of their day. Plus it always sparks more conversation, so we’re still talking long after we’re all done eating.

I have a 15 year old boy. It’s that age when they really don’t “share” much. But we are blessed. He still talks to us about things, but sometimes we have to ask the questions. The best time is riding to and from school. If he’s not talkative, I still ask those general questions - What did you have for lunch? Who did you eat with? Did you have a good day or a bad day? Do you have a lot of homework? And sometimes these general questions expand out into more of his day. He will talk to me about some things and his father about others.

One thing about my son, and I think boys in general…they don’t go into a lot of detail. Seems like friends of mine who have girls know a lot more about what’s going on at school than I do. That can be good and bad. I’m glad he’s not real “gossipy” yet it might help knowing a little more background in making decisions.

Prayer…I can’t say it enough - pray every day for open communications - pray every day to be smarter than you are - pray every day that your child makes good decisions - prayer!

My darlin’ girls are 15 and 13 and night time is the time to talk. It’s almost synonymous with saying bedtime that the conversations get rolling. Just at the time that I’m wanting to be tucked in, they begin! Many nights they don’t even need a response, they just need to share what is on their hearts and want me to listen! Lavonda suggestions of Shepherding a Child’s Heart and knowing their love languages helps soo much! We also have a long commute time on our goin’ to town days - like Little House on the Praire - and I’m telling you, it’s been one of the best bonding times. I try to ask open ended questions, like: “Tell me your thoughts about…”
And talking to and getting to know their friends has opened up many a conversation with the teens.
And I pray like crazy that I will make the most of this window of opportunity with my dears. I’m thrilled for you to go to the taping! It was delightful to meet and visit with Vicki at the LPM conference in SA. We use Vicki’s daily program of praise and attributes to pray for your daughter. My copy of Your Girl has almost as many sticky notes as it has pages!

I just had my mom send the “Between Us Girls” to my 10 yr old. Most of our great discussions happen at the dinner table. We linger and talk. I don’t shy away from conversations unless I feel they are inappropriate for the age. I have 2 girls, 2 yrs apart and they can handle most things together. There are some conversations I defer until the older one and I are alone. And little one is good with that. I pray it lasts.