When we're devastated
Sophie - October 9, 2008
If any of y'all read my personal blog you know that I typically like to keep it light! and look for the funny! when I talk about my life. I just don't write a lot of serious stuff - mainly because I try not to take myself too seriously.
But this week, in my homework for Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study of David, I was so moved by several of Beth Moore's remarks that I couldn't wait to share them with you - even if doing so requires me to step a little bit outside of my funny comfort zone.
Several years ago I was in the middle of what I thought was a pretty happy and carefree season of my life when I was blindsided by something that happened in my family. I felt like someone pulled the safety and security of my little world right out from under me, and I was devastated. I was angry. And I was positive that there was no way that God could ever restore what had been lost. On some level I thought God must have been trying to pay me back for every bad thing I'd ever done.
And apparently I'm not the only one who's felt that way. Beth writes, "All of us, to varying degrees, have taken an unexpected, uninvited emotional dive.... Devastation always involves heartbreak, but a heart dropped from 90 feet shatters, splinters, and scatters differently than the one dropped from 10 feet.... We are simply and understandably unprepared."
So given all that, it may seem a little strange to some people that I look on that very painful time and feel gratitude. Because while yes, it was ugly and miserable and sad, it was also a catalyst. With everything around me falling apart, I clung to my relationship with the Lord like I never had before. I grew in my relationship with the Lord like I never had before. And I walked out of that devastation with one single, sustaining revelation: He is everything.
Everything.
There's no question that devastation - with God or with someone we love - can send us reeling. I'm sure that right now there are some of you reading this who are walking through circumstances you could have never imagined. So maybe it will encourage you to know that even though I would have never chosen what I went through several years ago, I am far enough on the other side of it to know one thing beyond a shadow of a doubt: I am grateful for it. God used that terrible time to show me more of who He is, to assure me that I can trust Him, to confirm that He is faithful.
That whole exchanging ashes for beauty thing? Well, He's not kidding.
And now, when I look back on that family situation that was so heartbreaking, I am astounded by what God has done. There's been healing and restoration like I could have never imagined. And there's only One who could have done it.
Beth says, "Accepting the challenge to work through crisis and conflict can be a tremendously important part of developing closeness in a relationship. Don't deny it. Don't work around it. Don't back up from it. Work right through the middle of it with your God. He has never left you. Never ceased loving you. And never shut off His goodness from you."
Amen.
"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever." - Psalm 136:1
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Comments (8)
Amen, sister! Theres nothing like hitting rock bottom to getting you closer to God! I remember hearing Beth say in one of her studies that if it takes pain and heartbreak and devastation to bring her closer to God, then “bring it on!” I, too, have been in the pit, stayed there long enough to know that I wanted OUT, then broken free from that bondage and clung to my Lord and Savior like never before. And if that’s what it took to get me where I am now - praising, worshipping, clinging - then so be it! Praise the Lord!
Posted on October 10, 2008 8:04 AM
Wow Sophie, that was awesome. Beth is one smart lady. It’s hard when you’re in the midst of it to remember this. But it is Oh So True.
Posted on October 10, 2008 11:04 AM
Girlfriend! I am right there with you! I just did that homework last week and, shoo, it bowled me over! Two years ago I had two miscarriages back to back and it took the wind right out of my sails! Funny, but I was doing Believing God at the time. I think it was that study that kept me going. You are so right on!
Posted on October 10, 2008 2:00 PM
This post could have been written by me. We too walked through what felt like a wind tunnel of chaos several years ago. But God. He had to use those extreme circumstances to ask me if HE really was it for me. I can tell you today that yes, He is more than enough.
Thanks for sharing your story. :)
stephanie
Posted on October 10, 2008 8:06 PM
Now I know why I identify with you so, Sister. It’s the scars covered by His Hand. Isn’t He good?? With tears, I am thanking Him with you for being so very good and loving us so very well.
Love and prayers for you this weekend! Holly
Posted on October 10, 2008 9:05 PM
I was 32 the year my father died unexpectedly and studying the book of Romans that year. 3 years later I lost my mom to cancer. That year my class was deeply entrenched in studying Israel and the Minor Prophets. As the oldest daughter, it was up to me to handle all the arrangements for my mother’s services since my sister had lost her infant daughter to a heart condition just 5 months earlier. As we gathered in my parent’s home before her service I shared the verse that God had for me just that morning.
Psalms 29;10 When my father and my mother forsake me, Then Jehovah will take me up.
How odd that that Psalm would be in the required reading THAT WEEK in the midst of a study on Israel’s prophets. I was able to share with our entire family gathered from TX, WA, MO, and SC right there in my childhood TN living room that God is faithful, and though circumstances are devastating, He is ON IT and cares for each one of us in exactly the way we need it. Right then and all the time.
So I was devastated to be a mid-life orphan, but God brings me comfort, love, support, and encouragement, through His people, His Word, and His perfect plan.
I heard recently that every tear is a prayer that God hears. He is truly good. All the time.
Posted on October 12, 2008 5:12 PM
So glad you wrote this, Sophie. Your split personality works well for you with both serious AND funny. :)
I’m praying right now through some pain and junk I’m in that one day I WILL look back and be thankful for it; I’m praying that He’ll let me see the good that comes from it. Thank you for encouraging and blessing me today!
Posted on October 12, 2008 9:48 PM
Sophie, I could have written this post myself (well, maybe not with such eloquence).
We had a horrendous family situation 4 years ago that rocked me to the core, as well.
And I always talk about beauty from the ashes, too, because it is REAL! Praise His Name!
Great post, friend…
Posted on October 16, 2008 7:04 PM