All Access

I'm learning some things

Sophie - February 12, 2009

I don't know about y'all, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed when I go to a retreat or a conference or whathaveyou. I don't know if it's because the time there is so intense or because I'm so keyed up from anticipation that I can barely sit still when I get there, but I've noticed - especially this last year - that by the time the first night of an event rolls around, I'm perilously close to sensory and emotional overload. In fact, there have been a couple of times this last year when I've leaned over to Melanie during praise and worship time and said, "I'm praying right now that I won't feel so stinkin' numb - it's like I can't process anything."

I get so distracted by the peripheral stuff that I have a hard time focusing on why I'm there. I lose sight of what really matters.

Sort of sounds like, well, LIFE, doesn't it?

Last week at Going Beyond was no exception to my overwhelmed rule. By the time I finally got to the church Friday night, I'd missed three exits, navigated a mix-up with my hotel reservation, forced myself to wake up from a nap when I seriously could have slept straight through Friday night and all the way into Saturday morning, and reached the decided conclusion that Google Maps is my sworn enemy. Combine all of that with some Serious Life Junk we're dealing with in our family right now, and suffice it to say that I was feeling completely disconnected from what was going on in that sanctuary.

Even worse than that was the fact that I felt completely disengaged from the One I was supposed to be praising.

It happens Every. Single. Time.

So I started to pray. And gradually, as all that external junk started to settle and fade into the background, my heart gave way.

I have lots more to say about what I learned last weekend (and by the way, if you live anywhere near San Jose, California, you will be so blessed if you Go Beyond next weekend), and I'll be talking about that in my next couple of posts, but this morning I'm just flat-out grateful as I think about how God was so faithful to speak to my heart in the midst of the distractions.

He's good like that, isn't He? And I feel like, over the course of the weekend, He reminded me (AGAIN) of two critical truths:

1) Worship isn't tied into my feelings or my circumstances. I worship Him because HE IS - not because of how I feel about who He is at that particular moment. I worship Him because HE'S EVERYTHING - not because everything is going well.

2) All those distractions we face when we're headed to a conference or trying to get the family out the door on Sunday mornings? NOT ACCIDENTS. And I need to remember that if I weren't on the way to someplace God wanted me to be, the enemy would be a lot more likely to leave me alone.

I may have to cross stitch that last sentence on a pillow or something.

Have a great Thursday, y'all.

Category: Events