All Access

Good thoughts Sophie…as a SAHM with little ones not yet in school, the online world is my connection to others I feel I desparately need! Oh,yes! I spend a lot time (too much even?) on twitter. But I’ve pulled back from FB for a few reasons not just dealing with time. And I try to catch up on my blog reading 1st thing in the morning. But these “boundaries” are not firm - I do struggle with this!!

and you know, in 10 years, they’re going to tell us all this techonology has given us cancer…you know something like that will be “discovered!” LOL

Hey Sophie,

YES, I overwhelm myself with the internet sometimes. I don’t have a blog, nor a Facebook, nor a Twitter account and yet I could easily spend all day looking at those of other people. All in the name of “research” or “encouragement” or “connection”. Paul said everything is permissable, but not everything is beneficial. All of the blogs and websites I visited regularly were great, healthy sites, but I realized a few months ago that they actually were not benefitting me.

So I fasted the internet for one month.

It changed my life. I was more creative, I spent more time with God, I prayed for others more, etc. It was awesome. When I got back on the internet after that month I realized that I hadn’t missed out on ANYTHING!! And I had found this new fulfillment in life apart from the internet. So even now, a couple of months after the fast, I don’t have that same pull towards visiting all those sites. Yes, I still browse the internet and my favorite blogs, but what is different is that I actually don’t need them anymore. And they don’t take over my day like they used to. And I know now that whatever longing is in my heart can only be fulfilled by God. That was a big lesson.

Jessica

This post has brought conviction to me. I know I spend too much time on the computer! Even though it’s all…to me….good things! Like reading the All Access blog! And other Christian women blogs. I have been blessed so much with the friends I have made and their inspired writings I have read! And of course, there’s the research that I could not get easily any other place. And the emails….I can stay in close contact with family and friends all over the world instantly! I have purposely not set up a Facebook account although many friends have invited me to because I feel like I am maxed out on computer time as it is. Even when I am doing other things in the house, if I walk by the computer I almost always drop down in the chair and do a quick check on emails and blog comments! I can see that I probably need to set some strict guidelines and stick to them!

I liked when you said …”One of my biggest struggles as a blogger is to make sure that I’m not so busy writing about my life that I forget to live it.” That struck a cord with me. That’s what I want….to really LIVE my life….and then write about it if I have time….not the other way around!

Thanks for the insight today! And now I guess I’d better get up from here and get busy!! :)

Marilyn

You said it so well, Sophie. :)

” Do you have to set boundaries for yourself so that you don’t jump online at 9 and then suddenly realize that it’s 1 and you haven’t had lunch yet?” I’ve done this more often than I would care to admit. I have had to give myself a limit. I get on in the morning while my little man and myself are eating breakfast and I make myself get off as soon as we are done eating then I get on periodically throughout the day to check emails and start reading through my favorite blogs. I haven’t gotten into Twitter and I’m just starting to “facebook” a little. I just have to remember what is “really” important and it certainly isn’t on the computer!!!

Sophie,

Women are lonely and I’m afraid if we aren’t careful we will substitute all of the online connecting for something real. I hear from women all the time who say one thing and I’ve felt it myself…”I’m lonely.”

They might have 5,349 facebook friends and 7,238 twitter followers and 11,592 hits to their blog a day followed by 2,157 comments to each post and yet loneliness ensues.

Missing real life… Loneliness… Needing a real life friend…

This triggered a memory of something Beth Moore said in “Stepping Up”:

“All of this we are doing in all of our emailing…instant messaging, texting and all the ways we have of constant access has caused us to be overloaded in superficial relationships and starved for something real.”

So balance is needed, yes it is true. But I’m more concerned that the reason so many, including myself, are spending too much time on the internet and sort of checked out of real life could be because we have filled the round hole meant for the authentic, “live and in person” relationships that God intends for us and filled it with a misshapen vast amount of superficial…relationships that are sweet and encouraging, but might be dangerously close to being 12 miles wide and about a quarter of inch deep.

I’m not saying to go and delete all your facebook friends and twitter followers or shut down our blogs. I just want to balance all of that with a healthy dose of godly, transparent and real friendships with women in our families, in our churches, in our neighborhoods and at our schools — having some really great people to have lunch with, coffee with, go to the mall with, and talk about the Lord with.

Thanks for giving us something really great to think about!

Blessings, Dori

P.S. Next time you are in Nashville, I would love to meet you to have lunch, to have coffee, go to the mall or most assuredly talk about Him!

Sophie — are you reading my mind? I struggle with boundaries with the Internet and all the Internet fun. My baby just turned 16 and my oldest married last year, so it’s a new time in my life — no more Mom taxi and more time for me. A blessing? Yes! But only if I fill that time with things that glorify God. Does my time on the Internet do that? Sometimes it may, but not all of the time and not even most of the time. I use the excuse that it’s work and sometimes it is, but not all the time.
Thanks for the reminder that HE is my focus — not Twitter, Facebook or Blogs. But I sure am glad He gave us this new way of connecting because it’s truly blessed my soul.

Sofie~ I’ve recently had this same conversation with some friends! When I feel led to fast, it’s always from the computer. I only email and read a few blogs but that can get so overwhelming and take up sooo much of my time. Time that would be much more meaningful spent with my Lord! The blogs I read are pretty much all connected to this blog so they aren’t anything bad but when I read them before I’m in His word or talked to Him, I feel like it’s out of balance. I like what Jessica had to say in her comment. The Lord has blessed my husband and I with a great marriage and three beautiful children. We homeschool them and desire to teach them the Lord’s ways before all else. It is an exhausting 24/7 job. I refuse to Facebook. I know I would be so tempted to find long lost friends and I can’t spend hours each day “chatting”. Two of my girlfriends have started only conversing with others who Facebook. I guess I will have to pass. I have a Lord to serve, husband to love and kids to teach His ways too. I don’t think I’ll regret spending less time on the computer in 15 years:) I think it’s something we all need to be very careful of in this day and age and go back to the old saying, “what would Jesus do?”

Hey Sophie,

I had to put the kabosh on Facebook and I never allowed myself the first tweet on Twitter, all because I know how consumed I get with blogging. I’m already on the computer quiet a bit with writing projects, so the addition of blogging (which I LOVE) requires some boundaries; I, too, have to step completely away from time to time for some mental (and carpal tunnel!) health.

And, you’re absolutely on target with the “writing about life instead of living it”. Wise words, friend. Think I’ll step outside the house into the wireless out-of-doors for a while!

Whew… I’ve been dealing with this one for the past four years and STILL don’t have it figured out. Balance is just so hard for us, isn’t it? Something I’ve realized in the past few months is that many of us do this whole thing because we crave significance. We’re trying to fill a void—by being connected to everyone, followed by many, read by all—and just want our day-to-day existence as women validated. It seems that from this often stems two types of social media lovers—the ones who feel themselves so important and needed online that they spend all their time connected and “available”, or the people who are trying so hard to be noticed that they’re also spending all their time connected, both afraid to take a break or draw boundaries lest they are missed. :) What I’ve found in the past four years is that until we reconcile this, realize that we are complete in Jesus just as we are, we’ll usually have a hard time balancing this whole computer thing. Call it crazy to spiritualize something like our online presence, but when it becomes such a huge part of our lives, it can all intertwine. Of course, then there’s just the whole slew of us who just enjoy being online too much and need to learn to better manage our time! :)

Sophie - This is the very thing that I have been convicted of all week. I love writing and checking out everyone else’s blogs…but have felt a tap on the shoulder lately about the down time I use to devote to the connections of the internet. You have excellent thoughts. I, too, have intentionally pulled back this week…I also love what Ashleigh at Heart and Home said above in the comments. Timely post, Sophie!

I quit blogging a couple of weeks ago. Just quit. Don’t know if I’ll ever start again. Thought I would miss the fire out of it.

I don’t.

At all.

The joy I have felt in living my life, and the relief that I didn’t expect to feel in not having the “must blog this” pressure hanging over my head, well, it’s just amazing.

So yeah. I’d encourage people to get involved in their OWN lives first, in the lives of OTHER PEOPLE around them next, and lastly, verrrry lastly, waaaay down the list, in the lives of the internet world.

Jenni, recovering blogger

This is something I really struggle with, too! I had to pull back and stop blogging because I realized I was doing a lot of it to seek others’ approval, and when I was online so much, I was neglecting my housework & other responsibilities. Now I try to only use the computer during my son’s naps & after he goes to bed (if hubby is busy with something else). It is hard, though, to step back, I agree.

Sophie,

I would love to use some of what you said in an upcoming message that I am doing for the “A Woman Inspired Online Conference”. I’d also like to pose a few questions to you and Melanie and any of the other bloggers who have significant online presences. Your answers would give me a great deal of insight into the topic about which I am speaking—the spiritual, emotional and estrogen-laden issues associated with online ministry and ministry in general.

I know how busy you all are but if you girls would be willing to answer about 5 questions for me, please email me. I’d be most appreciative.

Leah