I don't know about y'all, but I am TIRED. In fact, I've talked to a few different friends this week and we've all agreed that we just need a break, a little time to rest.
Unfortunately no one is sending me on all-expense paid trip to some sweet resort anytime soon. Or ever. So I have to find rest where I can get it, which is usually hiding in the back of my closet.
Oh I'm kidding. I'd never hide in the back of my closet, they'd know to look for me there.
I feel like school started back in August and I've been running ever since. Running to the school for classroom meetings, running to the soccer fields for games, running out of town for various events. I'm just a little burned out.
And I'm betting a lot of you can relate. When I woke up this morning and did our usual routine of eating breakfast, getting dressed, out the door to school, forgot the backpack, turn back around and get the backpack, get to school, do the drop-off and head back home, I rejoiced when I remembered that we are out of school all next week for Thanksgiving.
For that, I am thankful.
I just know I can get so busy in the daily commitments of life that I lose sight of what's important, of the very thing that sustains me and gives me the strength I need to be the wife, mama, and friend I try to be. And I want to keep my eyes on Him because he promises in Isaiah 41:31 "those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
As nice as an all-expense paid trip to a resort would be (and I certainly wouldn't turn it down), I don't want to get so busy that I forget that God is my refuge, my hiding place and He will renew my strength when I remember to keep my eyes on Him.
So yesterday I started a post about making connections through blogging vs. real-life community, and while I'd like to assume that the post might have offered a few insights and lo, even some sage advice, the fact of the matter is that right after I started the post my day took a little bit of a downward turn. And before I even knew what happened, I was at the bottom of some sort of emotional ski slope with my legs bent awkwardly underneath me and a pole jammed into my side.
So to speak.
The bottom line is that, as my friend Amy J. said a couple of weeks ago, "my feelings were hurt - all of them." And it just totally knocked the wind out of my sails.
(And yes, I just used a skiing metaphor AND a sailing metaphor in the same post. I have no explanation for such a writing travesty. However, I do offer my most sincere apologies.)
ANYWAY, I had a hard time bouncing back from what happened yesterday. And I may or may not have spent a solid hour lying underneath a blanket while a certain six year-old read me books. DESPERATE TIMES, PEOPLE.
After supper - which was a pizza my husband was sweet enough to pick up for us - I made the remark that the LAST thing I wanted to do was go to church. Honestly, I wanted to stay home, sit in the front of the fire and feel a little bit sorry for myself. But since Alex loves his Wednesday night church-time, I cowboy'd up (METAPHOR #3!) and got in the car. But I wasn't really happy about it.
We had just pulled into the church parking lot when Alex piped up from the backseat: "Mama? Do you know that God is with you all the time? That He is SO BIG that He's everywhere you are?"
Oh, that boy. I mean, seriously - does it ever cease to amaze y'all how the simplicity of a child's faith can just FLAT-OUT PREACH? Honestly, I can't think of when I've been on the receiving end of a more timely word. Because even though I knew it, I SO needed to hear it.
And I'm beyond grateful for the six year-old who said it.
What have your kids / nieces / nephews done lately that just blessed your socks off?
This morning I sat here and worked on my Bible study lesson because I let myself fall woefully behind. My group meets tomorrow morning and due to my OCD tendencies, I can't stand to go with unfinished homework.
But as I sat and looked up different scripture, my heart just felt like it needed a reminder of God's love for me. Does He really see me? And so I stopped what I was doing and said outloud, "God, I need to know how much you love me."
Immediately a verse that I memorized earlier this year came to mind:
"God's love is meteoric, His loyalty astronomic, His purpose titanic, His verdicts oceanic. Yet in His largeness nothing gets lost; not a man, not a mouse, slips through the cracks. How exquisite your love, O God." Psalm 36:5-7a (The Message)
And I thought I'd share it with you in case, like me, you needed the reminder today.
Maybe it's because it's a beautiful day or maybe it's because I just powered through six chapters of Leviticus or maybe it's because I know I have a fun weekend ahead of me filled with friends and family, but my heart is so full today.
Even though those six chapters of Leviticus about killed me. Have you read Leviticus lately? It's not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach. There's a lot of burning of the fat and talk of other stuff that you don't really want to read while you're trying to enjoy a breakfast of yogurt and granola.
Anyway, my Bible study group is doing Anointed, Transformed and Redeemed this fall and this morning I've been thinking about something Beth Moore shared in her section of the study. It's a verse from 2 Samuel 7: 18 where King David says, "Who am I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family that you have brought me this far?"
That's how I feel this morning. It's not like life is perfect and I could get bogged down in a million little things that aren't exactly the way I wish they were, but more than anything I just feel thankful. Who am I that he has brought me this far?
I spoke to a group of high school kids this week and preparing for it caused me to reflect on where I was in high school and how much I managed to screw up the better part of my late teens and early twenties as I lived in total rebellion to everything I knew to be true. And when I think about how God has redeemed all of my sin, it's hard to feel anything but completely and totally grateful for his overwhelming love and mercy.
He is so good.
Psalm 103: 10-12 "He does not treat us as our sins deserve, or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
Last night we learned a new song in choir practice. I'm an alto, so we almost always sing harmony, and usually that's a bunch of fun. Altos are a pretty lively bunch, you know.
But last night's new song? It was really, really difficult, so our worship pastor asked us to go through all the parts individually before we tried singing the song together. When the sopranos sang their part, it sounded okay - but nothing special. Same for the guys. And when the altos sang our part a few minutes later, it sounded a little awful, honestly. It was just weird. There were lots of big jumps, lots of strange, dissonant notes - and after about the third time we'd worked through our part, the girl sitting next to me laughed and said, "We sound like a bunch of bullfrogs."
She was exactly right.
But do you know what? After about ten minutes of each section of the choir working on their individual parts, the neatest thing happened.
We sang all those separate parts together.
And y'all, I got goosebumps all the way down to my toes. All of the bizarre-sounding notes were transformed. The whole song was absolutely beautiful. Shockingly so. And I thought, "Oh. That is the body of Christ right there." Nothing special at all when we're doing our own thing - but when we work together for something - or Someone - bigger than ourselves? The indescribable happens.
Even in a bunch of bullfrogs.
"Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be." - 1 Corinthians 12:14-18
For the last week or so my little boy and I have been reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. A few nights ago we snuggled up to read another chapter, and within a few minutes we got to the part where the children arrive at the Beavers' house.
Mr. Beaver explains to the children that Aslan the lion is going to meet them the next day, and Lucy - who's a little frightened by what may lie ahead - asks Mr. Beaver if Aslan is "safe."
Mr. Beaver's response just kills me:
"Safe?" said Mr. Beaver..."Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you."
When I was growing up I thought that most of the Christians I knew led pretty charmed lives. And while I didn't think that faith offered an exemption from life's problems, I very much believed that the Christian life was a safe one. I mean, what could be so difficult about going to church, reading your Bible, saying your prayers and making the occasional casserole for Family Night Supper? From my very immature perspective, it all looked so, well, easy.
That incorrect belief that the Christian life was supposed to be easy was part of the reason why I pretty much disengaged from my faith in my early 20s. I still knew how to play the game, of course - and I could still say all the right things - but I had no idea how to reconcile my personal pit-o-sin with my deeply flawed assumption that life with Jesus was supposed to be carefree. We could spend the next year breaking down all of the gaps in my theology, but the bottom line is that somewhere along the way I missed the memo that while the leap into faith might sometimes feel pretty simple, the whole concept of faithfulness is hard. Oh sweet mercy. Is it ever.
The difficulty of faithfulness comes to mind when I hear the lyrics from "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing": "Prone to wander / Lord I feel it / Prone to leave the God I love." THAT IS NO JOKE, PEOPLE. And when I walked away from the Lord in my early 20s, I thought to a certain degree that it was His fault. Clearly there was some deficiency on His part. Some inconsistency in His character. Some obvious lack of power on His end of things. Because after all, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY.
When I was about 27 I finally reached a point where I realized that if left to my own devices and my own stinkin' sinful heart, I was going to make a complete mess of my life. As Beth Moore has said before, I wasn't just going to stay in my pit - I was going to hang up some curtains and buy some new furniture for it. If something didn't change, I was going to be living down there indefinitely.
And do you know what?
The last thirteen years of walking with the Lord have been absolutely wild. God has led me into and through some unexpected situations - some of them filled with fun and wonder, some of them filled with difficulty and pain. I have been humbled over and over again. I feel like I've been on an adventure with God, and together we've been to places - literally and figuratively - that I would have never dreamed of when I was that wide-eyed little girl sitting in the church where I grew up. He has shown me over and over again that when Paul sat down and wrote Ephesians 3:20, he knew exactly what he was talking about.
More than anything else, I've learned that my joy has absolutely nothing to do with my comfort, my happiness or my circumstances. God often calls us to uncomfortable places that feel anything but safe so that we're not tempted for one second to think that we can do what He's asking us to do in our own strength, in our own power or according to our own plan. His ways are just flat-out higher. His ways are so much better.
And my very limited notion of what feels "safe" really isn't His concern.
So as I read Lucy's words in C.S. Lewis' book the other night, I felt tears well up in my eyes as I stammered my way through Mr. Beaver's reply. Because I can tell you without hesitation that I know firsthand how true his words are.
When I was a little girl, I thought pastors had the easiest job in the world. I thought that they read the Bible all day, talked to people, visited the hospitals, spoke in church once or twice a week and ate most of their meals with the best cooks in the church. Plus, since I grew up Methodist, our pastor got to live in the church parsonage. He didn't even have to buy a house.
Oh, foolish youth.
Now that I'm older and have some, you know, SENSE, I recognize that shepherding a church is an enormous calling - and an enormous responsibility. There's nothing easy about it. So when I look around and see people I love and respect serving their churches as pastors - and serving with JOY, at that - I'm just a little bit blown away. Their faithfulness and perseverance is inspiring.
For the last few weeks our pastor has been teaching on the book of James (just a light, breezy text, you know), and every single week I've wanted to walk up to him after the service and say, "THANK YOU - I LOVE YOUR STINKIN' HEART." But I haven't. So yesterday, when I read Beth Moore's blog post called "Dear Pastor," I thought Oh, that is brilliant.
Wouldn't it be cool if we all followed Beth's lead and took five minutes today to write down five things we appreciate about our pastors? You can do that in Beth's comments, in these comments, in a blog post of your own or in a private note to your pastor.
Be an encourager today!
"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. " - 1 Thessalonians 5:11-13
It's hard to believe that it was just a week ago that I was on a plane to Orlando. This past week has been filled with all of the normal ups and downs of life, including a washing machine with a variety of issues that required a few visits from the repairman.
In the midst of all of it, I just keep remembering something Kay Arthur said last Friday, "Rest is uniting the word of God with faith for that particular situation."
Rest is knowing it's in His hands.
Rest is knowing I don't have to come up with the solution.
For the last few days my little boy has been working on a memory verse from Romans. Earlier this week we were on the way to soccer practice, and I asked him if he'd learned his verse yet.
"Not yet, Mama," he answered. "I mean, I know a little bit."
"Well, what do you know?"
"I know that it's Romans 15:13. And I know it's about hope. And that's about it."
While we were sitting at a stop light I grabbed my Bible, looked up the verse and read it out loud: "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."
Alex was quiet for a few seconds, and then he said, "You know what, Mama? That last part is the best."
"What part?"
"Overflowing with hope from the Holy Spirit, Mama. It's the best part!"
And you know what? It really is.
"Oh! May the God of green hope fill you up with joy, fill you up with peace, so that your believing lives, filled with the life-giving energy of the Holy Spirit, will brim over with hope!" - Romans 15:13, The Message
This past weekend I ran across a TV show about people who hoard things. I'm not talking about people who save all their kids' schoolwork and have a couple of overcrowded closets as a result. I'm talking about people who cannot walk through their homes without navigating a never-ending pile of junk. People who put their mental and physical health in jeopardy by holding on to a bunch of worthless garbage that they couldn't possibly need.
One of the women featured on the episode I watched was a compulsive grocery shopper. And because she'd lived through several seasons of near-poverty, she couldn't bear to throw away food. The condition of her kitchen was almost unimaginable; every possible surface was covered with boxes and cans and pots and pans and open containers of food. She functioned pretty well in the midst of all the clutter; in fact, she was perfectly at home in her mess. She rifled through a refrigerator that was crammed with rotten produce and spoiled meat, and not one time did she show even a glimmer of recognition that this is not okay. This is bad for me. This is no way to live. To her, it was all perfectly normal.
There was a crew on hand to help her clean up and clean out her house, and at one point they asked her what she wanted to do about a pumpkin that had been sitting on her living room floor for months. The pumpkin resembled a decomposed orange mass more than anything else, and the woman gave her permission for the workers to dispose of it. But as one of the men scooped up that moldy orange blob so that he could put it in a trash bag, the woman walked over to him and said, "Hold on just a second. Just a second. I think...I might want...just a few of these seeds."
At that point she stuck her hand into the middle of something that was way worse than garbage, and it was like she could not help herself from wanting to save part of it. As I watched her I sat straight up and said - just like she could hear me - "Stop it. STOP IT. YOU DON'T NEED THAT STUFF. WHY ARE YOU HOLDING ON TO ALL THAT JUNK?"
And y'all, in the middle of that moment, I heard the Holy Spirit loud and clear: Think about all the stuff you hold on to in your heart. Think about all that junk you carry around just like it's normal. You don't need it.
I've thought about that a whole bunch over the last couple of days. I don't hoard stuff in my house like the woman on the TV show; I throw out papers and magazines and pretty much any clutter that makes its way into my path.
But emotionally? That's a different story. There are a couple of things I hold on to as if my life depended on it. And even though I know that the Lord can take care of the junk, that He can "scoop it up," so to speak, and carry it away for me, I'm like the woman with the pumpkin. I say, "Oh, that's fine - you can take it - but let me just hold on to a teensy little bit. Let me hold on to those seeds."
Yesterday I dropped my little girl off at school for the new school year and my heart ached a little bit that summer was over and we'd have a little less time to spend together every day.
I came home and spent some time reading my Bible and praying for her. Praying that she'd always have a heart for God, praying that she'd like the first grade, praying that she'd have a friend to sit with in the cafeteria at lunch.
And my heart just felt overwhelmed with the love that I have for her.
Then later I was in my car and I heard this song by the David Crowder Band come on the radio. I realized that no matter how much I love my little girl, He loves her more.
He loves me more.
He loves you more.
I just thought maybe we could all use a reminder that, as the song lyrics say:
"We are His portion and He is our prize,
Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes,
If grace is an ocean, we're all sinking."
For the last couple of years - up until about a month ago - I've felt a little bit like I've been walking through completely unchartered territory. I won't bore you with all the details, but in some ways my life felt like a never-ending opposite day: what I thought would happen didn't. What I didn't think would happen did. And after a year or so of learning to expect the unexpected, my husband and I finally got to a point where we could honestly say, "Okay, God. We know there's a lesson here. Help us learn it."
Like so much of life, that time wasn't easy. But you know what? It was good.
Several weeks ago in Bible study we watched a DVD that goes with Priscilla Shirer's Discerning The Voice of God, and she reminded us how God spoke to Moses in the desert. She pointed out that bushes don't burn in palaces, and it's in the "desert times" when we're equipped for God's plan. She went on to say that we need to be mindful that we don't miss supernatural moments with God when we feel overwhelmed by our circumstances, so we need to focus on His activity during our uncertainty.
I don't know what you're dealing with right now in your life - what disappointments you're facing, what plans you're questioning - but please accept this tiny bit of encouragement from someone who has been in the desert before and will no doubt be there again: even when it might not feel like it, He's working. He's preparing. He's equipping. Even when life isn't working out like we planned.
Because here's the thing about when God takes you through the desert: the path may be a little less clear, and the journey may take a little longer - but you'll see and learn things that you would have missed completely if you'd traveled the shorter, easier way.
This week is one of those weeks that's just busy. BUSY. BIZZZZZZZZZZY. And in all honesty, I woke up on Tuesday morning and felt completely overwhelmed by everything on the next few days' agenda. There was nothing ahead of me that I dreaded, mind you, but there was a lot of stuff on deck. And "a lot" isn't exactly my favorite state of affairs.
A couple of hours after I started Tuesday morning's activities, I picked up my journal and saw a verse that jumped straight off of the page and into my heart: "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the LORD's purpose that prevails" (Proverbs 19:21).
I don't know about y'all, but I can get mighty bogged down in my "need-to-do"s and my "have-to-do"s and my "want-to-do"s. I can make to-do lists so extensive that they require subpoints. Sometimes I even like to type them. And then email them to my phone.
I like to think that my crazy is very reliable.
Anyway, reading that verse was like a breath of fresh air to me. Yes, I need to be faithful to keep my commitments. Yes, I need to work efficiently on whatever task is at hand. Yes, I am more productive when I am organized.
But at the end of the day, my plan isn't the point. My busy-ness - whether by circumstance or by choice - isn't the point.
The Lord's purpose is the point.
And you know what? That encourages and reassures me so much.
Today is one of those days where I have a million thoughts running through my head, yet they are all a little discombobulated. So instead of trying to process them into any sort of smooth paragraphs complete with transitions, I'm going to go with a list.
1. While we're on the subject of iPhones, is anyone running out to get a new one today? And if you already have one, do you like it? It's time for me to get a new phone and I'm on the fence between the iPhone and the Blackberry.
I know all the cool kids have an iPhone, but frankly they frighten me just a little. At least Beth has the nerve to carry hers in a Ziploc, I'm afraid I'd carry my around in the box it came in.
2. Ever since my Deeper Still post on Tuesday, I've thought about that event and how much I got out of it. It's definitely been my favorite event to date. Do you have a favorite event?
3. Next weekend (June 26-27) I'm going to see Priscilla Shirer at Great Hills Baptist Church in Austin, TX. I can't wait to hear Priscilla speak. If you're anywhere near Austin you should totally make the trip.
4. I'm about to melt from the heat. Seriously, it rained for like five minutes today and I just wanted to go lay out in the middle of the street and soak up the rain. I don't know how I'm going to survive August.
5. Somehow I let us run out of M&M's and I have never been sadder about that than I am at this moment. I am in dire need of chocolate and there is nothing in this house except a Little Debbie Nutty Bar and I just can't go there.
It occurred to me over the weekend that we hit the one year mark here on AllAccess this past Friday. And when I thought back over everything Melanie and I have had the privilege to see and hear and do with LifeWay Women this past year, I thought of a question that people ask me all the time (ALL THE TIME).
What's it like to do that blog stuff with the people at LIfeWay?
And here is my answer.
It is so. stinkin'. fun.
Here's the thing: you know how you get sort of a glimpse of people's personalities and you wonder if that's what they're really like in the day-to-day? Well, I can honestly tell you that what you see is what you get with LifeWay's women's ministry team. If you've watched that video of Pam and Paige over there and wondered if that's really how they act in real life? YES. If you've watched Travis and his praise team sing at an event and wondered if they really are that passionate about leading worship? YES. If you've heard Vicki Courtney tell a funny story from the platform and wondered if she's funny when she's not teaching? YES. And on and on and on.
Every single time Melanie and I leave an event, we always say the same two things: 1) I SO needed to hear that message and 2) I've never met a more inclusive group of people in my life. From the event team to the praise team and every team in between, the LifeWay Women folks are welcoming and loving and a general blast to be around. They are a group of people who truly love the Lord and love serving His people. Their joy is absolutely contagious. And it is real.
It's been really encouraging for Mel and me (and so many of you, too) to see that, you know?
Finally.
Thanks so much to all of you for reading and commenting this past year! We appreciate you more than you know, and we are so grateful to have such wonderful bloggy friends. Y'all really are the best.
Since it's Memorial Day weekend, I've been thinking about all the brave men and women who have fought and died for our freedom. We owe them a debt of gratitude that can never be paid.
It makes me think of a story that Beth shared at Living Proof Live in New Orleans. She read part of an article about a soldier named Aaron Davis who had recently been awarded a Silver Star, which is the third highest commendation a U.S. soldier can receive.
It's an incredible story of bravery in the face of death and she highlighted this quote from the article:
"With shrapnel from a rocket-propelled grenade (RPG) lodged behind his right eye, Davis later told his parents, Davlyn and Alvin Davis of Kilgore, 'The blood was gushing down my face. When I called out to God, 'Are You with me?' I heard Him answer, 'I Am, I Am.' "
I AM.
The I AM that sent Moses to guide the Israelites out of slavery, the I AM that helped a young David slay a giant, the I AM that sent his son to die on a cross for our sins.
This past weekend some other bloggers and I met LifeWay Women's Pam and Paige (they're the nuts in the video to the right) for supper at one of our favorite barbecue restaurants here in Birmingham. The conversation was just as scattered and lively as you might imagine; over the course of about an hour and a half we talked about kids, women's events, Jesus, recipes, horseback riding (?!?), relationships and how sweet our friend Lora Lynn's baby is. We covered some topical ground to be sure.
The night was so much fun, and sitting at the table with Pam and Paige made me think about how the AllAccess blog has been going strong for almost a year. Melanie and I have had the best time going to different events and sitting under absolutely incredible teaching (like so many of y'all, we're "moms in the seats" who have been encouraged so much by LifeWay's women's ministry as we continue to learn and grow in our faith), and we have met some great bloggy friends along the way. It's been a blast.
We've loved being able to give away different Bible studies, books, CDs and event tickets on AllAccess this past year, and we're hoping to do even more of that. But in addition to what we've been doing, what new kinds AllAccess giveaways would you like to see? More Bible studies? More event tickets? Some event perks (reserved seat giveaways, a free trip for you and a friend to an event, etc.)? I'm not saying that all of those things are going to happen, mind you - I'm just wondering what would be the most appealing and exciting to you?
Thanks in advance for your input - and if you have any additional ideas, please feel free to chime in! I know your suggestions will be a big help to Pam, Paige and Kris as they finalize LifeWay Women's plans for 2010.
As many of y'all know, today is the National Day of Prayer. Right this very minute our LifeWay friends Beth Moore and Travis Cottrell are in Washington, DC - along with Shirley and James Dobson - to serve our nation through prayer and praise during this critical time in our history.
This morning there's a live broadcast and webcast that starts at 8AM central - you can find more information right here. There are also lots of local events going on, and it's oh-so-easy to check out what's happening in your area.
A sweet friend and I actually had a conversation yesterday about some of the ways we feel burdened for our country right now (and our concerns cross party lines and candidate preferences, just to be clear). Even as I type this post, the words from "Hear Us From Heaven" are running through my mind: "Lord, we're calling out to you, crying out to you, forgive us of our sin, heal our land. As we seek your holy face, we turn from all our wicked ways, hear from heaven even now as we pray."
Lord, we pray that you would draw the leaders of our nation to yourself. We pray that they will have wisdom that comes from Truth so that their decisions will honor you. We pray that we, as Christ-followers, would be bold, courageous and full of grace. We pray that you would continually open our eyes to the physical and spiritual needs of people all over the world so that we can be doers of the Word - not just hearers of it. Thank you that your mercy and your forgiveness fall fresh every single day. In Jesus' Name.
"I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am." Phillipians 4:12 (The Message)
Last Friday we were visiting some friends at their ranch in South Texas. We drove down on Thursday night and had so much fun laughing and talking that I just figured I'd post the winner of the Caption Contest giveaway early Friday morning.
It was a beautiful plan except for the fact that some severe storms rolled through the area and we lost the satellite internet connection. We had to spend the rest of the day without the internet just like we were pioneers.
And on a side note, it's amazing to me how frustrated I can get with technology that doesn't work. Never mind that man just figured out how to land on the moon forty years ago, why can't the satellite in space make my computer work during a lightning storm?
The good news is that my cell phone continued to work so I was able to receive a call from the auto mechanic letting me know that my car was ready to be picked up and the amount that we owed for the repairs.
It was not a small number.
Once I received the call, I let myself fall into the worst mood. We are just in this season of life where we can't get ahead. Every time we turn around there is an unexpected expense that sets us back and it just makes me feel so frustrated.
Then I realized that my struggle isn't about the money or the provision, it's about contentment. God has provided what we need. We had the money in the bank to pay for the repairs, which is a huge blessing in this economy.
My frustration wasn't about not having enough, it was about wanting more. It was about wanting to go spend that money on some new jeans or a cute pair of shoes, as opposed to some new brake pads and a flux capacitor or whatever.
When I felt that small, still voice whisper to me that He has given us what we need, He has blessed us beyond what we deserve, I felt shallow and ungrateful.
I had my eyes fixed on all the "more" that I want and took my eyes off the "One who makes me who I am".
And when I re-focused, my eyes opened to all the blessings I take for granted. All of a sudden, my hands that had seemed empty became very full.
Every single time I read something by Oswald Chambers, I know that he's going to step on my toes at least a little bit.
But this particular passage left me wanting some steel-toed boots.
I'm just sayin'.
Never allow a feeling that was awakened in you on the mountaintop to evaporate. Don't place yourself on the shelf by thinking, "How great to be in such a wonderful state of mind!" Act immediately-- do something, even if your only reason to act is that you would rather not. If, during a prayer meeting, God shows you something to do, don't say, "I'll do it"-- just do it! Pick yourself up by the back of the neck and shake off your fleshly laziness. Laziness can always be seen in our cravings for a mountaintop experience; all we talk about is our planning for our time on the mountain. We must learn to live in the ordinary "gray" day according to what we saw on the mountain.
Don't give up because you have been blocked and confused once-- go after it again. Burn your bridges behind you, and stand committed to God by an act of your own will. Never change your decisions, but be sure to make your decisions in the light of what you saw and learned on the mountain.
- excerpted from "Can You Come Down From the Mountain?" in My Utmost For His Highest
"The angel spoke to the women: "There is nothing to fear here. I know you're looking for Jesus, the One they nailed to the cross. He is not here. He was raised, just as he said. Come and look at the place where he was placed.
'Now, get on your way quickly and tell his disciples, 'He is risen from the dead. He is going on ahead of you to Galilee. You will see him there.' That's the message.'
The women, deep in wonder and full of joy, lost no time in leaving the tomb. They ran to tell the disciples. Then Jesus met them, stopping them in their tracks. 'Good morning!' he said. They fell to their knees, embraced his feet, and worshiped him."
Matthew 28:5-10 (The Message)
May we always be deep in wonder and full of joy at the power of His resurrection.
"And when Jesus had cried out again in a loud voice, he gave up his spirit.
At that moment the curtain of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. The earth shook and the rocks split. The tombs broke open and the bodies of many holy people who had died were raised to life. They came out of the tombs, and after Jesus' resurrection they went into the holy city and appeared to many people.
When the centurion and those with him who were guarding Jesus saw the earthquake and all that had happened, they were terrified, and exclaimed, 'Surely he was the Son of God!'" Matthew 27: 50-54
Wishing you a blessed Easter full of His power and might.
Last Thursday I posted about a poem that I'd found on Priscilla Shirer's website, and Leslie's comment made me curious. She mentioned a video that Igniter Media put together - based on a sermon by S.M. Lockridge - and I couldn't wait to check it out.
Once I started watching the video I realized that I'd seen it several years ago, and oh my word - it is powerful. It's a little different than the poem, but it echoes the same theme: He is EVERYTHING.
As my friend Elise always says, "If that doesn't light your fire, your wood's wet."
If you've ever sat under Priscilla Shirer's teaching, you've probably heard her recite a powerful poem about the character of God. I heard it for the first time at Deeper Still in Nashville, and I've often wondered if there was a written copy somewhere.
A few months ago we used Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed: A Study of David (which was filmed at Deeper Still Nashville) in our Bible study, and once the ladies in our group heard Priscilla recite that same poem, my sweet friend Mary Jo looked at me and said, "You HAVE to find a copy of that."
So, four months later, here it is. I am obviously VERY prompt and organized.
Regardless, I'm tickled to have a copy now. I found it on Priscilla Shirer's website, and the author is unknown.
As my pastor would say: it'll preach.
He is the First and Last,
The Beginning and the End!
He is the keeper of Creation and the Creator of all!
He is the Architect of the universe and the Manager of all times.
He always was,
He always is, and He always will be...
Unmoved, Unchanged, Undefeated, and never Undone!
He was bruised and brought healing!
He was pierced and eased pain!
He was persecuted and brought freedom!
He was dead and brought life!
He is risen and brings power!
He reigns and brings Peace!
The world can't understand him,
The armies can't defeat Him,
The schools can't explain Him,
and The leaders can't ignore Him.
Herod couldn't kill Him,
The Pharisees couldn't confuse Him,
and The people couldn't hold Him!
Nero couldn't crush Him,
Hitler couldn't silence Him,
The New Age can't replace Him,
and Oprah can't explain Him away!
He is light, love, longevity, and Lord.
He is goodness, Kindness, Gentleness, and God.
He is Holy, Righteous, mighty, powerful, and pure.
His ways are right,
His word is eternal,
His will is unchanging,
and His mind is on me.
He is my Savior,
He is my guide, and
He is my peace!
He is my Joy,
He is my comfort,
He is my Lord, and
He rules my life!
I serve Him because
His bond is love,
His burden is light,
and His goal for me is abundant life.
I follow Him because
He is the wisdom of the wise,
the power of the powerful,
the ancient of days,
the ruler of rulers,
the leader of leaders,
the overseer of the overcomers,
and is to come.
And if that seems impressive to you,
try this on for size.
His goal is a relationship with ME!
He will never leave me,
never forsake me,
never mislead me,
never forget me,
never overlook me,
and never cancel my appointment in His
appointment book!
When I fall, He lifts me up!
When I! fail, He forgives!
When I am weak, He is strong!
When I am lost, He is the way!
When I am afraid, He is my courage!
When I stumble, He steadies me!
When I am hurt, He heals me!
When I am broken, He mends me!
When I am blind, He leads me!
When I am hungry, He feeds me!
When I face trials, He is with me!
When I face persecution, He shields me!
When I face problems, He comforts me!
When I face loss, He provides for me!
When I face Death, He carries me Home!
He is everything for everybody everywhere, every time, and every way.
He is God, He is faithful.
I am His, and He is mine!
My Father in heaven can whip the father of this world.
So, if you're wondering why I feel so secure, understand this...
He said it and that settles it.
God is in control,
I am on His side,
and that means all is well with my soul.
Everyday is a blessing for GOD Is!
Last week our little guy spent a few days with my parents in Mississippi, so I had a chance to catch up on some stuff. I caught up with friends, I caught up on TV and (hiding my face in my hands) I caught up on my Bible study.
What? You say that you've never fallen behind on your Bible study? Why, HELLO, ALIEN. WELCOME TO OUR PLANET.
Oh, I kid. Kinda.
Anyway, right now my Bible study group is working through Priscilla Shirer's Discerning the Voice of God, and it is hitting me right between the eyes. I struggle a lot (A LOT) with feelings of condemnation and shame because of some Old Junk, and if I'm not careful I start to mistake the enemy's lies for truth. Even worse, I start to believe those lies, and before I know it I'm mired down in what I can only describe as spiritual paralysis. If you've ever dealt with something similar, you know it's not a whole lot of fun.
Friday afternoon, after a pretty intense time of talking and praying with a sweet friend, I asked God for some direction in dealing with these fearful / unworthy / waiting-for-the-other-shoe-to-drop feelings that keep popping up in my life. And please don't misunderstand - I wasn't asking the Lord to tell me that my hair looks cute or that He likes my sassy jeans so that I can feel better about myself. I just needed to be reminded of who I am IN HIM because that's the part of my faith that the enemy seems to go after more than anything else.
Not even 24 hours later, when I was catching up on my Bible study Saturday afternoon, I found myself reading these words in Discerning: "His goal is never to bring guilt and condemnation by continually reminding me of my past sins but rather to bring healing and obedience by turning my attention to my future with Him."
And then: "God has the right to condemn us, but He has chosen not to throw stones. He bestows grace and love despite what we have done, because His very nature is love."
And then: "The purpose of the voice of condemnation is to push you away from His presence - that which is the very source of your victory. The purpose of the voice of conviction is to press you into the face of Christ." - Bob Sorge
I just thought it was the sweetest thing in the world for God to give me that assurance. His voice is LOVING - and while yes, that loving voice may beckon every single one of us to uncomfortable places as we seek restoration and chase after holiness, it will never, ever condemn us. It will never accuse us. It will never mock us.
He is loving.
"Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him." - Psalm 62:5
If there is anything that God has been consistently teaching me over the last year, it's the importance of spending some time with Him first thing in the morning. I've never been much of a morning person so it's always been a struggle for me to commit those first moments of the day to Him.
In "Esther" this week, Beth talks about how things can suddenly arise in our day that will require decisions or actions from us and "if we're not surrendered to God already that day with our hearts and minds guarded by Scripture, we'll more likely react by impulse than by the Holy Spirit."
Yes. I think I've been guilty of that a time or six hundred.
It just confirmed for me the importance of going to God first thing in the morning, giving Him that day, and asking Him to give me my daily bread.
"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 5:3
For the last several weeks I've been thinking a lot about this little online world that's become such a big part of so many of our lives. As much as I like to look at blogging and Twittering and Facebooking and call it all a hobby, the bottom line is that the online world has infiltrated and impacted my day-to-day life in ways I could have never imagined four or five years ago. And for the most part, it's been a very good thing.
But.
One of my biggest struggles as a blogger is to make sure that I'm not so busy writing about my life that I forget to live it. There are times when I very intentionally pull back from the web because I can get overwhelmed by it if I'm not careful. If I wanted to I could spend all day every day plugged in to other people's lives - I could read blogs and listen to podcasts and catch up on Twitter and comb through pictures on Facebook. And odds are that I would love every single stinkin' second. However, spending all that time wrapped up in other people's lives might mean that I miss out on my own life, on my own family - and that's no good at all.
So. How do y'all juggle it all? What's your biggest challenge in terms of balancing real life and web life (or have the two totally blended together for you)? Do you have to set boundaries for yourself so that you don't jump online at 9 and then suddenly realize that it's 1 and you haven't had lunch yet? Do you ever feel like online life overwhelms you?
I spend a lot of time trying to figure things out. I develop plans in my head and write lists of things I need to accomplish. And then I worry about my lists and my plans and how they're all going to work out.
I have a little bit of control freak tendencies.
So I loved what Beth said in this week's session about Esther. Esther was called to be obedient, not to figure the situation out. We are responsible for "the what" in our lives, but God will take care of "the how".
When I think of all the hours I've spent worrying about "the how"...well, it's a lot of hours. What a relief to realize that God has it all in his hands and all I need to do is listen.
I'd love to hear what you learned from Esther this week.
Also, on a totally different note. Please pray for the ministers' wives conference this weekend in Nashville and, if you're anywhere nearby and the wife of a minister, it's not too late to be a part of it.
A little over a week ago, the father of one of my dearest friends was hit by a car in the early morning hours as he walked their dog. He was immediately life-flighted to a nearby hospital where he continues to remain in critical condition with severe head trauma.
The whole situation has just broken my heart and I've spent so much time in prayer for them. It's just such a painful reminder of how life can turn on a dime. One day, everything seems fine, and then the next day, it all changes.
About two years ago, my husband and I found ourselves in a really unsure place. I'd just resigned from my job and we were facing some huge financial obstacles. I walked around feeling so scared and uncertain about what the future was going to look like.
During that time, God led me to this passage in Isaiah.
"I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake them." Isaiah 42:16
I emailed that verse to my friend yesterday hoping that it would give her some measure of comfort and peace. There are times in life when we will all feel blinded by what life throws at us and the path will seem unbearably rough and treacherous, but God turns that darkness into light. Only He can make the rough places smooth.
And if you think about, please keep my friend's father in your prayers. The next few days are very critical.
Okay, so there's no recap of Esther this week and there is a good reason for it. My Bible study group, specifically our kids, got struck down by the flu and other various ailments and we had to skip a week.
So, we're now a week behind.
I hope the flu is happy is with itself.
Anyway, I'm going to tell y'all about a book that I read years ago and loved. In fact, I still read parts of it again every now and then for encouragement and inspiration.
It's called The Bible.
I'm kidding. It's not the Bible.
It's "Abandoned to God" by David McCasland and it's a biography of Oswald Chambers, the author of "My Utmost for His Highest". I first read it about ten years ago and was so moved by his story and his struggles. It made him seem so real, as opposed to some flawless human who wrote incredibly beautiful devotions to God.
I was reading through parts of it again last week and came upon a quote from Oswald Chambers that I love. He says, "It is never 'do, do and you'll be' with the Lord, but 'be, be and I will do through you.' It is a case of 'hands up' and letting go, and then entire reliance on Him."
It's a good reminder to me that all I have to do is be me. The me that God intended me to be, flaws and all.
If you have any quotes that you love or that inspire you, I'd love to hear them. I may put them all together in some sort of Book of Thoughts. Or at least just read them.
Honestly, I've been a little tired of winter for the last month or so. All the gray has gotten to me; in fact, there was a three week stretch where it seemed like the sun didn't shine at all. So I've just been ready for some sunshine. Some blue. Some bright green. Something different than the gray.
But do you know what happened? This morning I woke up to the biggest expanse of gray I've seen in awhile, and it was glorious.
It's same tangled web of gray branches I've been looking at for the last two months, but this morning, thanks to a little snow, I saw them in a whole new way.
And I'm reminded that sometimes God gives us the tiniest shift in our circumstances to open up a completely new perspective.
Okay, just to weigh in on all the Christian artists of ye olden days issue, I have to let y'all know that Amy Grant was pretty much the reason I asked Jesus into my heart at age ten.
Well, and God probably had something to do with it, too.
I went to a summer YMCA camp the summer before sixth grade and my camp counselor played her Amy Grant cassette tape over and over again. The whole thing changed my life, especially the song "Mountaintop". I love it to this day.
And on an entirely different note, this is what I read during my quiet time the other day.
"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
I don't know about y'all, but I really needed to hear that.
It will probably come as no surprise to any of you that I am still loving the Esther study. I think it may be one of my favorite Beth Moore studies I've ever done. I love how much I'm learning about Queen Esther, but what I love even more are all the practical applications.
Imagine that. The Bible is still relevant for day-to-day life after thousands of years. God knew what He was doing when He put that whole thing together.
This week we found Esther taking that fateful walk into King Haman's court. She knew she was risking her life, but she also knew that she was the only human with the ability to change the course of the edict to kill all the Jews.
Beth talked a lot about fear this week and I think we've all been through times where we've felt gripped by fear. However, the quote that spoke to me the most was found in Day Two.
"Sometimes God is more aware than we of just how much He requires of us. He knows how hard it's going to be for us."
I don't know why, but that brings me comfort. I've just never thought about God realizing how hard it is for us to be obedient sometimes and that He understands more than anyone that we're being pulled away from what is comfortable and familiar.
So I could sit here and tell you that the last two years of my life have played out exactly like I expected. I could tell you that everything has gone according to plan and we're right where we hoped we'd be and gosh! we're so carefree! looks like smooth sailing ahead!
I could tell you those things.
But there's not a stitch of truth in them.
And as much as I like to think that over the last few months, when things have been especially difficult, that I've responded well and rolled with the punches and learned valuable lessons, the fact of the matter is that I've responded with a heavy dose of stubborn more often than not. I may have been a little bitter. And on some days - like yesterday, for instance - I've just been plain mad.
Last weekend at Going Beyond, Priscilla Shirer talked a lot about having a Godly response to the interruptions in our lives. She actually covered four specific things to keep in mind when life takes you on a detour down a road you never planned to travel, and then she followed up on Saturday with five ways those interruptions bless us.
And at the time - because it is always easy to sit under a difficult word and think about how it applies to SOMEBODY ELSE - I didn't really apply what she was saying to my own life. I thought about how it applied to this friend's life or that friend's life or to my own life eight or nine years ago - but I didn't really think about THIS TIME in my life. This season-o-crippling-humility, as I've come to call it. Didn't think about my current circumstances much at all.
So y'all know what God did.
He called me out on my own denial ALL. WEEK. LONG. And I'm telling you, I feel like at every single turn I've been confronted with the reality of my own selfishness and pride and hardheadedness. If hardheadedness is in fact a word. And I've been reminded that there is a blessing in the here and now - even though it doesn't always feel like it.
Priscilla told us Friday night that it takes courage to yield to the interruptions of life, to learn the lesson that God is teaching us. And she also said that until we respond to what God is calling us to do in that interruption, His Word will continue to mess with us, to convict us, to call us out on that very thing we're avoiding.
I'm quite certain I can't relate to that at all.
Ahem.
So I don't know if you're dealing with any interruptions in your life right now or not, but this morning I'm thinking about two things Priscilla said last weekend:
1) God sometimes derails us to get us back on board with His plan.
2) When God allows interruptions in our lives, we have an opportunity to cooperate with Him.
Hope that encourages y'all this morning.
Because I have to tell you: it's flat-out preaching to me.
Yes gals, its true, you all may not have known it but I am one of few single gals on the LifeWay Women's team. I am in my early forties (i'm sure you are shocked at this, thinking I was probably 32). ;0) But alas...yes, i am 42 and loving it.
So why do I say Valentine's Day single, no problem? Well, I rarely define myself as a 'single', primarily because I don't feel alone. I am in just one of the sweetest seasons with God of my entire life. He has impressed some Isaiah 30:15 on me lately...part of that verse says, '...In quietness and trust is your strength.' If you knew me better, you'd know that quietness is not a strength of mine. But anyhoo, when I am quiet and listen to God, He just speaks to me so much through His Word and gives me His strength.
And because I live alone (can i get a whoo hoo!) I can just talk back out loud or sing or mumble back to Him. I tell Him everything; the fun stuff, the complaints, the sad stuff, the thankful stuff. He is so good to me. He is my one true companion. I heard our gal Beth Moore say at a recent Living Proof Live event that, 'When you tell God you love Him, say 'I love you too!' not just 'I love you.' Because if we feel like saying it, its because God has just leaned over us and told us He loves us!! So true. So I have been trying that out.
Do I want a man someday to share my life with and to be my hunky Valentine? You bet I do! But I can finally say after some wrestling with God and sensing His sweet affection toward me, that I want HIM more. That is a HUGE perk of living alone for so long. Its just me and Him. So all you single ladies, I encourage you to enjoy this season of singleness as long as it lasts. It can be the sweetest time of your life.
I say gal a lot just to be goofy. So I will celebrate this Valentine's Day with my sweet 'Gal-entines' as I call them. I also have a couple of fun guy pals who I call 'Pal-entines'. Feel free to use these terms.
Single girls give us a shout out about your good God times! And Happy Gal-entines Day!
This week of homework was so full of things that stood out to me that it's hard to pick just one thing, but since I'm not looking to write a novel I'll choose one.
You know how certain things mean more depending on what you're going through or something that's recently happened? That's how this week of homework was for me.
On Day 1 of Week 2, Beth writes, "Even those most serious about their pursuit of God and godliness fail to be perfect examples all the time. That's why God is busy conforming us into the likeness of Christ alone. None of the rest of us can bear the burden of constancy."
It's not that anyone has let me down recently or I've watched someone I admire fall, although I've had those moments in my life. I just read those words at a moment when I was feeling very weak, very fallible, very inadequate.
It served as a good reminder to me that not one of us is perfect. Even the people I look up to the most have their moments when they do or say the wrong thing. We are all human and sometimes we all feel like we're failing to live up to what God has called us to be.
The cry of my heart for the last year has been something I heard my pastor say in church, "Lord, I'm not infallible, but I am available." I know that in my own strength I am completely incapable of being anything other than a hot mess most of the time, but I also know that He promises that in my weakness, He is strong.
So I let him know that I'm available for whatever it is He's trying to accomplish.
And this week I needed to be reminded that Christ is the only one who can "bear the burden of constancy". Keeping my eyes on Him will help me look more like Christ, but nothing is going to make me perfect. He doesn't require it.
I realize I never got back to y'all with my thoughts on Week 1 homework from "Esther", but I have been on two road trips in four days and have returned to a house that is in desperate need of a cleaning lady.
Sadly, I am the cleaning lady.
But I wanted to share a few thoughts I had on the week before it was next week. Does that sentence even make sense? Let's pretend it does.
On Day 2 of Week 1, Beth talks about the incredible party that King Xerxes has thrown to celebrate himself and his kingdom. It's definitely beyond the scope of any fancy event I've ever attended, mainly because in my world "fancy party" means there will be barbecued ribs and potato salad that isn't served out of a styrofoam container.
The Bible describes the scene this way, "For a full 180 days, he displayed the vast wealth of his kingdom and the splendor and glory of his majesty." Esther 1:4
Beth discusses how phrases like that are usually in reference to God, but King Xerxes was very taken with himself and his own greatness. All his hope and trust was in his earthly riches.
She contrasts v. 4 in Esther with Psalm 96: 4-6. The specific part of that passage that stood out to me was v. 5 which says "For all the gods of the nations are idols, but the Lord made the heavens".
It's kind of like the old saying "You can't take it with you when you're gone". All the material things that seem so important in our society are nothing compared to the incredible splendor and majesty of God.
And sometimes I need to be reminded of that.
I can get caught up in thinking some new clothes or granite countertops would make me happier than I am now. Our entire culture is built on the premise that more is better, but what I need is more of God.
Only in Him will I find the peace and contentment I am looking for. The best part is it's the kind that lasts. And as we soon see, King Xerxes with all his finery and 180 day party wasn't a content guy. In fact, he banishes his beautiful queen because she didn't play into building his ego.
The whole thing reminded me of some scripture I've been praying from Proverbs for the last several weeks.
"Keep falsehood and lies far from me; give me neither poverty nor riches, but give me only my daily bread. Otherwise I may have too much and disown you and say 'Who is the Lord?' Or I may become poor and steal and so dishonor the name of my God." Proverbs 30: 8-9
The only splendor and glory I want in my life is the fullness of His presence and to know daily that He alone is my daily bread.
Right now I'm sitting in our dining room while the rain falls outside. The sky is gray, and everything outside looks like it's about six shades darker than normal. I call days like these Pajama Days - days when I just want to stay inside and snuggle up on the couch and stay warm. If this afternoon goes as planned, I'll do just that. Just the possibility of it makes me smile.
Truth be told, our lives have felt sort of gray for the last few days. Grown-Up Stuff has consumed us just a little bit, and we're having a hard time figuring out how to walk through the unknown.
So as I sit here - surrounded by gray on the outside and, if I'm honest, on the inside, too - there's a part of me that's tempted to climb back in bed, pull the covers over my head, and escape from the Grown-Up Stuff. I like it when everything feels Okay. When everything feels Good. When everything feels Comfortable.
But there's a bigger part of me that knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that God is in control - as cliche' as it may sound. I've seen Him do some incredible things in our family this past year, and I know that He's not going to abandon us now - even if His road map doesn't look exactly like what I have in mind. He's Jehovah Rohi, our shepherd. He's Jehovah Jireh, our provider. He's Jehovah Shalom, our PEACE.
And I know that even as we flail a little bit, even as we feel some uncertainty about what's down the road for us, we can rest confidently in the knowledge that HE IS WITH US. He will not leave us or forsake us. We can trust Him.
So today, while my head hurts just a little bit as I try, in all my limited understanding, to figure out what the days and months to come will look like, my heart sings these words:
My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus' blood and righteousness.
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly trust in Jesus' Name.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
When darkness seems to hide His face,
I rest on His unchanging grace.
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
His oath, His covenant, His blood,
Support me in the whelming flood.
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my Hope and Stay.
On Christ the solid Rock I stand,
All other ground is sinking sand;
All other ground is sinking sand.
As I've sat and watched all the inaugural events this morning, I am reminded how blessed we are to live in a country where the transfer of power is peaceful and filled with prayer.
It's a blessing that I often take for granted, but today I want to stop and thank God for all the blessings He has bestowed on this great country. Yes, we have huge problems facing us, but we have a God that is bigger than any economy or terrorist group.
God, pour out your blessings on this country and on our new leader. Bless us and keep us, make your face shine upon us.
Please join us in praying for our country and our President today.
"All mankind will fear; they will proclaim the works of God and ponder what he has done. Let the righteous rejoice in the Lord and take refuge in him; let all upright in heart praise him!" Psalm 64: 9-10
At the beginning of the year I decided to join up with the 1st and 15th Siesta Scripture Memory Team over on Beth Moore's blog. There are over 2,000 women participating, and the premise is pretty simple: each participant chooses a new passage of Scripture to memorize on the 1st and 15th of every month.
My first passage was I John 3:18-20, and it says, "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. This then is how we know we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything."
That last line has been running on repeat in my brain all weekend long: "For God is greater than our hearts, and He knows everything."
He knows everything.
He knows EVERYTHING.
He knows our sins, our struggles, our resentments, our weaknesses. He knows our pettiness, our temptations, our shame and our selfishness. He knows all the stuff we feel guilty about, all the stuff we wish we could wipe away.
Remember back in December when I mentioned that my Bible study group is doing Beth Moore's "Esther: It's Tough Being a Woman" study this spring and mentioned that it might be fun if we discussed it once a week in the comments here?
And then remember how I never mentioned it again?
Well, I'm proud to announce that I now have a plan in place.
My group is having our first meeting next Wednesday, January 14th. Our plan is to watch the first session, eat some chocolate chip cookies, and discuss our hair. Not necessarily in that order.
Anyway, I'll jot down my thoughts and share them here on Friday, January 16th and then you can add your thoughts on the first session in the comments.
Rinse and repeat every Friday until we're done with the study.
Does that work for y'all? I think it will just be more fun to share everything we're learning and seeing what stands out to different people.
This past weekend I spent a lot of time by myself. Some of that time was spent in productive ways such as trying to purge the house of Christmas excess, but if I'm honest I have to admit that a lot of the time was spent worrying about the upcoming year.
It would probably benefit my worry lines greatly if I would just stop watching the news and reading the financial forecasts, but it seems like everywhere I turn I hear about all the things I'm supposed to be worrying about and so I worry about them.
I start to freak out and calculate numbers in my head and try to figure out if I can feed my family on nothing but Hamburger Helper for a month and before I know what's happening I'm just one big ball of nerves with a side of bad mood.
As it just so happens, I'm participating in the scripture memorization going on at the Living Proof blog. Beth put up a post asking us to leave the scripture we planned to memorize in the comments and I took some time to pray about what scripture I needed to commit to memory.
Later that day, I was trying to finish up some reading for my Bible in a year plan (Which has turned into the Bible in a year and about twenty days. Don't judge.) and read 2 Corinthians 10. Verses 3-5 really hit me over my thick head.
For though we live in the world, we do not wage war as the world does. The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
I knew they were the verses I needed to memorize because not only do I need to take every fear-filled thought captive, but I need to remember that, although I live in the world, my weapons and my security are beyond what the world can comprehend.
In Christ, I am secure. And when I make my thoughts obedient to Him, I remember that.
So in addition to giving vs. getting, here are the other two things God has been teaching me over the holidays:
2) Demanding vs. Asking - We've been discussing this concept a lot lately with our little boy, who seems to be increasingly prone to statements like, "Get me some more milk, Mama," as opposed to "Mama? May I please have some more milk?"
So we've been talking almost every single day about asking for something as opposed to demanding it.
And God has been all over me about how I do this in my own life. Especially with Him. Because my prayer life, if I'm not careful, can become a laundry list of demands: God, I need you to fix this. I want so-and-so to change. I want such-and-such to just go away. And so I'm going to make a concerted effort to ASK God to keep me in the center of His will, to ASK Him to give me the grace to walk humbly through whatever circumstances surround us.
Sometimes I need to remember that God is God and I'm not. He doesn't need me to tell Him what to do.
3) Quick Fix vs. Digging Deep - I am a fan of peace. I don't like conflict and I don't like confrontation - because oftentimes I don't like the consequences of those two things. So I tend to go for the quick fix in certain situations. I look for ways to just patch things up and keep the peace and move along.
I don't think my peace-loving nature is inherently bad, but more and more I'm seeing how it enables me to gloss over issues and problems that require a whole lot more than a band-aid, a smile and a funny remark.
So I want to dig deeper - in the Word, in my relationships, even in my failures. I recognize that in the past I've put band-aids on some things that maybe needed some stitches - and I can't change that. I have the scars to prove it. But I also recognize that I don't have to be the band-aid girl anymore. I pray that I will have the courage and the strength to dig deep - even when it's painful.
I hope y'all had a very Merry Christmas full of plenty of fun with your families and friends. Ours was great, although I finally had to throw out the rest of the gingersnaps last night to make the eating stop.
It saddened me to see them go in the trash, but I knew in my heart it was time for us to part ways.
So now, as hard as it is to believe, it's almost time to bring in 2009. I'm not sure where 2008 went, but it's out the door at this point.
I've never been one to make a lot of New Year's resolutions, mainly because if you don't make them then it's much easier to not break them. See how that logic works for me?
But this year I'm making a few. I really do want to work out on a more consistent basis, not with the specific goal of losing weight, but just knowing that as I hit my late-30's I should make more of an effort to be healthy.
And if I happen to look better in a swimsuit come summertime, I won't complain about it.
The other thing I'd been feeling led to do was to make a better effort to memorize scripture. I'm really good at paraphrasing a verse or two, but sometimes saying, "You know that verse where God says that He removes your sins as far as the east is from the west and then blah, blah, blah" just doesn't have the same impact as really knowing the verse by heart.
Anyway, over at the Living Proof Ministries blog, they're doing a really cool thing where you can commit to learn two new scriptures a month. It's awesome to think of all those women learning two new verses every month of the year.
And if you do the math (which I hate, by the way) that adds up to learning TWENTY-FOUR new verses this year. That's not too shabby.
So if you're interested, click on over and sign up in their comments.
And while you're still here, I'd love to know if you have any resolutions for 2009.
Like many of y'all, I've spent a lot of time in the kitchen the last week or so, and as a result I've done a lot of thinking, a lot of praying, and a lot of flat-out talking to myself in between the measuring and the mixing and the cleaning.
My family has been at the center of many of those thoughts and prayers, and I feel like the Lord has been using some of the circumstances that we're dealing with right now to teach me more about how I react and respond to Him.
This morning I jotted down three specific areas where I feel like God is really calling me out and asking me to trust Him more, and I thought I'd share them just in case, you know, anyone reading happens to share my particular brand of crazy.
And I'm going to share my "kitchen epiphanies" in two parts so that you don't have to face the prospect of too much boredom at once.
You're welcome. I live to serve.
1) Getting vs. Giving - When I was washing dishes a couple of mornings ago, it occurred to me that I used to see money as a means to get things. A means to buy more stuff. I wanted to have more money so that I could spend more money. In fact, for a chunk of my 20s, I thought that if I just had this house or that car, I would be set. I would be successful. The primary objective of earning was the subsequent spending.
Slowly but surely, however, the Lord has been faithful to show me that while yes, money enables us to buy food and heat our house and pay our bills, it could accomplish so much more if we were better stewards of it. And I long for its primary function in our lives to be a means to giving and helping. Even though (SWEET MERCY) this is an unstable time financially, I really pray that God will continue to teach me that I need to be a better steward of the money He has entrusted to us so that we can give more and help more - not stockpile more junk that we don't even need.
So I'm praying - and I have a friend who's going to hold me accountable with this - that in the interest of giving vs. getting, I'll be more faithful with the small things. Cutting back on fast food and fast coffee. Planning our meals more effectively. Sticking to my list when I'm at the grocery store. Being mindful that the cost of eating out adds up quickly. And - this is the hardest for me - sticking to a budget with our grocery expenses.
Just typing that makes my heart race.
So. Anyone else feeling some fresh conviction in this area? Fire away in the comments if you'd like to share.
We heard this passage at church last night, and it's been on my heart all morning.
2 He grew up before him like a tender shoot,
and like a root out of dry ground.
He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.
3 He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.
Like one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
4 Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the LORD has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
7 He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth.
8 By oppression [a] and judgment he was taken away.
And who can speak of his descendants?
For he was cut off from the land of the living;
for the transgression of my people he was stricken.
9 He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth.
10 Yet it was the LORD's will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
and though the LORD makes his life a guilt offering,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
and the will of the LORD will prosper in his hand.
11 After the suffering of his soul,
he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
and he will bear their iniquities.
12 Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
and made intercession for the transgressors.
May we all remember the purpose of that sweet baby in Bethlehem.
And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."
Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests."
When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, "Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about."
So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.
My prayer is that in the midst of family drama, turkeys that won't thaw, and presents that still need to be wrapped, that we all remember it's about a tiny baby that came to Earth and changed eternity.
Last week my little boy and I went to a Christmas party, and one of the moms at the party had a special treat for the kids: a birthday cake for Jesus.
Y'all, it was the sweetest thing.
What I especially loved was the way the mom used the cake to share the Gospel. She talked about how Jesus lived a sinless life - and that His purity covers all our sin just like the white icing covers the whole cake. She explained that the green icing piped around the bottom represents the eternal life we have through Him. She told the kids how the red candles symbolize the blood Jesus shed on the cross for us - a perfect atonement for our sin. As she lit the candles, she reminded the children that Jesus is the Light of the world, and when we know Him as our Savior and Lord, we're supposed to share the Light with other people.
Then the kids sang "Happy Birthday, Jesus." And I may have cried.
It was such a great way to remind the children of the Christmas story, and it's something that any family could do in the days leading up to Christmas - or even on Christmas Day.
I don't know about y'all, but if I think long enough about everything I have to get done in the next week, part of me wants to go into a dark room and close the door and sit on the floor and rock back and forth for a little while.
The word "overwhelmed" comes to mind.
But here's what I know: every single bit of cooking and cleaning and traveling will be absolutely, totally worth it. After a quick trip to Tennessee this weekend to see my brother's side of the family, we'll come back home and open our doors for Parade-O-Company '08. It's gonna be a little hectic, but it will also be a blast. WE'RE MAKING MEMORIES, PEOPLE.
So yes, it's a little busy around here. And yes, it could even be a little stressful if I let it be. But I am praying like crazy that we will, above all else, see Jesus everywhere we turn this Christmas. The gift of Him. The miracle of Him. The wonder of Him.
I'm so excited that so many of y'all will be doing the Esther study in the next few weeks. My plan is for us to discuss each week every Thursday until the study is over. I'll post my thoughts for the week and then y'all can add your thoughts in the comments.
I'm thinking we'll start on the second Thursday in January. I'd love to tell you what that date will be but that would require me getting up from in front of a warm fire to go look for a calendar.
So what I'm saying is I'll get back to you with a specific date and give everyone a week's notice before we start.
On Thursday afternoon, I drove to Houston to hear Beth Moore speak and Travis Cottrell lead worship. The entire event was unbelievably good and God used it to speak to my heart in so many ways.
Another bonus of the trip was that I was able to be in the car ALL BY MYSELF for five hours roundtrip. That's five hours of listening to whatever music I wanted to or just enjoying the silence or talking on my cell phone without being interrupted.
I'm not going to lie, it was pure bliss.
At one point I put in one of my Christmas CD's and began to listen to "Breath of Heaven" by Amy Grant. I've listened to it a million times but at that moment the lyrics that stood out to me were:
"Do you wonder as you watch my face
If a wiser one one should have had my place
But I offer all I am
For the mercy of your plan"
I wonder how many times Mary placed her hand on her stomach as she felt the son of God move in her womb and wondered why on Earth the Lord decided she was the one for this incredible job?
Did she wonder if it was all a dream? Did she look around at the other women in her town and think how much more equipped they seemed to be for the job?
In my mind, I think surely she must have had all those fears and doubts. Surely she must have had moments when she was sure God had chosen the wrong girl for the job.
Because don't we all have those moments? I have times where I look at my sweet Caroline and can't believe God has entrusted her to me. I have times where I look at my life and all its blessings and feel like they are totally undeserved.
And, honestly, they are.
But then God whispers to my heart and reminds me that He doesn't look at the things the world looks at. He looks at the heart.
In Mary, He saw a heart that was prepared to carry His son and raise Him into a man that would eventually be crucified.
In me, I pray that He sees a willing heart that is ready to go where He leads. No matter how ill-prepared I feel for the call.
And that's my prayer for each of you today.
"But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong." I Corinthians 1:27
Most of y'all know that I went on a life-changing trip to Africa back in February. You also know that Melanie went on a life-changing trip to the Dominican Republic about a month ago. And in the last couple of weeks, Mel and I have had a couple of conversations about how what we saw on our trips will undoubtedly affect how we celebrate Christmas this year. We most definitely want to our children to continue to experience the joy and wonder of Christmas - but we also want them to develop a perspective that goes way deeper than how many toys are under the tree on Christmas morning.
Because the fact of the matter is that it's hard to justify giving our little people toys they don't even need when there are kids in other parts of the world that don't have clean water to drink. When there are kids who may or may not have food to eat tomorrow. When there are children dying every single day from completely preventable - and curable - diseases.
Perspective.
So when I saw this video, I amen'd just a little bit. Actually, I amen'd a lot. In fact, if you had heard me, you might have wondered if I hadn't set up my own personal camp meeting. It resonated with me way down deep in my soul. And I sort of cried like a baby.
Amen.
"But godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it." - I Timothy 6:6-7
I'm not sure what part of Thanksgiving has come and gone I don't understand, but I was honestly stunned yesterday when I had to write the date on something and realized it was December 2nd.
How did that happen?
And, more importantly, how did that happen without me having any Christmas shopping done?
I told my husband that we absolutely have to get our tree before the week is over because I need to get maximum tree enjoyment. I've already hung the wreath on the front door in the hopes he'll get the hint that it's time to put up the outdoor lights.
So far it's not working.
Over the next few weeks, we'll bake sugar cookies, make a gingerbread house, decorate the tree, and look through countless toy catalogs.
But, most importantly, I want us to take time to reflect on what Christmas really means. I want to teach Caroline about the hope that came to earth in the form of a tiny baby. I want her to know how God showed up after 400 years of silence.
We're doing a Jesse Tree this year, but I'd love to know if y'all have any other ideas or suggestions on how to keep the focus on Jesus this season.
Considering that I was in the Dominican Republic less than three weeks ago, I am more aware than ever of all the things I have to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
Things I have tended to take for granted such as air-conditioning, clean water straight from the tap, and electricity.
So this year as I sit around the dinner table, I will thank God for the many blessings He has bestowed upon my undeserving, often ungrateful self.
I'll thank Him for His love and sacrifice. I'll thank Him for His mercy. And I'll thank Him for blessing my life so richly with precious family and friends.
How about you? I'd love to hear what you are most thankful for this year.
Every once in awhile I'll read something that hits me right where I'm living.
And today, it was this:
"I have to learn that the aim in life is God's, not mine. God is using me from His great personal standpoint, and all He asks of me is that I trust Him, and never say - Lord, this gives me such heart-ache.... He simply asks me to have implicit faith in Himself and in His goodness. Self-pity is of the devil, if I go off on that line I cannot be used by God for His purpose in the world. I have 'a world within the world' in which I live, and God will never be able to get me outside it because I am afraid of being frost-bitten." - Oswald Chambers
I've been thinking a lot this week about Melanie's post from Monday - wondering what my little guy will remember from his childhood, thinking about all the great stuff I remember from mine.
And I guess it's only natural for holidays to make us nostalgic - especially when it feels like the little ones in our family are growing up way too fast. I PROMISE that my nephews were just born last year, but somehow they've turned into nine and ten year-old football players. Blows my mind.
But one thing that alleviates the bittersweetness of time flying by is thinking about Thanksgiving traditions in our family that stand strong year after year after year: Mama's cornbread dressing and sweet potato casserole (with pecans, not marshmallows). Circling up and holding hands while my daddy prays. Watching college football all day long. Planning a fun day-after-Thanksgiving activity with my sister (this year we're driving down to the very small town where my grandparents lived). Wandering into the kitchen around five o'clock in the afternoon for a "light snack" of turkey and congealed salad. Listening to my aunt, my mama and my cousins tell story after story about the good ole days. Laughing until my whole body hurts.
Makes me smile just thinking about it.
So what about you? What are some your favorite family traditions at Thanksgiving? And if you could only pass down one of those traditions to your kids, which one would you choose?
I'll be waiting on y'all in the comments. And I may even have some of Mama's homemade chocolate pie with me.
There's something about cold weather that makes me want to read non-stop. And when I'm reading, you can find me one of two places in our house: in our den or in our guest room. Both places just feel cozy to me - and a big down coverlet ensures that I am as snug as a bug in a rug while I'm poring through whatever has my attention. I also like to remain wide-open to the possibility of napping in between chapters. I feel it's good to have options.
And there's one other thing that makes reading / Bible study time even more special when it's chilly outside: apple tea. I love it so much. My mama's friend Mary John makes one of the best versions I've ever tried, and in addition to tasting great, it makes your whole house smell absolutely divine.
Mary John's Apple Tea
1 qt. cider
1 cup cranberry juice
1/2 cup dark brown sugar
2 sticks cinnamon
8 whole cloves
1/4 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
Heat until it boils, then reduce heat until ready to serve.
Now obviously we talk a whole bunch about books, authors and Bible studies here on AllAccess, but I'm curious: do you have a special place you like to "settle in" when you read or have your quiet time? Are there things you do to make that time especially relaxing? Do you have a special routine you like to follow?
And don't worry - I'll snuggle up under a comfy blanket before I read your comments. That only seems right. No apple tea today, though - just diet Coke. I'm pacing myself for the holidays, you see.
One day after school last week, I took Caroline and one of her little friends to the park near our house. It was one of those rare days in South Texas that actually feels like Fall, not too cold and not too hot. I sat on a bench in the shade and watched them as they ran from the swings to the slide and back again.
A few minutes later a man about my age came walking into the park with his little boy who looked to be about two years old. The little boy immediately toddled off towards the slides and the man and I began to visit.
He introduced himself to me and told me they had just moved to San Antonio from Connecticut about four months ago. I laughed and told him he must be in the midst of a huge culture shock. He said he'd actually lived in San Antonio when he was about the same age as his son because his dad was in the military, but had no memory of the city other than pictures from family photo albums.
I told him the girls were five and I was giving them the chance to burn off some energy before we headed home for the day. And then he asked me a question that I can't quit thinking about, he said, "Do you remember being five?"
Yes. I remember bits and pieces of being five. I remember that my Kindergarten teacher's name was Mrs. Sudela and I thought she was beautiful. I remember that we walked through the school searching for a leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day. I remember that I wore some socks with a patch featuring a banana wearing a cape complete with pom-pom fringe for Super Sock today. I remember that one day I didn't get off the school bus and the driver had to turn around and bring me home.
But there are other things I don't remember. I don't really have any memories of day-to-day life. I don't know if my mama had a snack waiting for me after school. I don't remember if I played with my little sister or if I watched a lot of T.V. I can't remember dinner time or the things we talked about. I know those things existed, but I can't recall them.
And maybe I just have a bad memory.
It made me think about how strange it is that Caroline won't remember a lot of her life at this point. Yes, she'll have bits and pieces, but as much as all these days and years will be memories I will hold onto and treasure forever, she probably won't remember the day I took her to the park after school and she slid down the firemen's pole by herself for the first time.
Yet, even though she may not remember, these things are making her into who she is and who she will become. They are part of the tapestry of her life.
It's made me think about what I hope she remembers for the rest of her life. It's made me want to take the time to laugh with her more, pick her up while I still can, and give us lots of chances to make some sweet memories together.
Because of all the things I want her to remember, what I hope for the most is that she will always know how much she is loved. She may not remember that we made chocolate chip cookies yesterday and she definitely won't recall the night she was two years old and threw up every thirty minutes, but I hope she'll remember that I was always there.
I know I'll make (and have made) my share of mistakes along the way, but God will cover my weaknesses. And I pray that He will fill her mind with sweet childhood memories.
How about y'all? What do you hope your kids remember about you and their childhood? I'd love to hear about it.
Yesterday was one of those days where I just had enough. Enough of me, enough of other people, enough of the world - ENOUGH. And by the end of the day, when my husband asked me if I was okay, I told him that I was fine except for the fact that I was in a horrible mood and would like to go to a cabin somewhere ALL BY MYSELF for at least three days and maybe four.
Can anybody relate?
Really, I can't even pinpoint why I was so annoyed. I just was. And everything was on my nerves: the phone, the email, the laundry (OH MY WORD THE LAUNDRY), the dust bunnies under my sofa, the responsibilities of work, the deadlines that never seem to go away, and hey, Y'ALL FEELING ENCOURAGED YET?
I know. I am a joy and an inspiration, aren't I?
But I like to think - or maybe I just need to think - that we all have our days. Days when we feel overwhelmed or unequipped or ill-prepared or all of the above (like the study says: it's tough being a woman). And for me those days are like a spiral - I feel guilty about my mood, which makes me feel selfish, which makes my mood even worse, which makes me feel worse, and before you know it I'm rummaging through the Halloween candy and pulling out the mini Snickers like a madwoman.
ALLEGEDLY.
So here's my question: how do you cope when you have a rough day? Do you fight it? Do you pray through it? Do you call someone to talk about it? Or do you just surrender to the ornery and sort of lean in to hear whatever lesson God may have in it?
Thanks in advance for sharing your hearts via the comments, y'all - there's strength in numbers, you know.
"For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." - 2 Cor. 4:17-18
Last night at Bible study we watched the Bonus Session on the Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed DVD. The bonus stuff is from a Q&A session that Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer and Kay Arthur did at the end of Deeper Still Nashville, and it. is. hysterical. I rolled laughing when I was at the conference in Nashville back in 2007, and I rolled laughing in my Bible study leader's den last night. So, so funny. Girl talk at its finest.
On the way home from Bible study I was thinking about the joy of fellowship with other women. I'm one of those people who loves nothing more than a weekend with my girlfriends - the whole experience is like Happy Overload for me. I love making tons of super-unhealthy appetizers (CREAM CHEESE, ANYONE?), having a refrigerator that's stocked with countless cans of diet Coke, putting on my comfiest pajamas, and then settling in for a night of laughing until I hurt.
MOST. FUN. EVER.
So what about you? Are you a fan of girl talk, too? Do you have regular girls' night outs? Do you and your girlfriends ever get away for a weekend? What are some of your favorite things that you and your girlfriends have done together?
I'll be in the comments, living vicariously through every single one of you.
Okay, so I have a really fun video from a visit to one of the projects here in the Dominican Republic and I planned to post it here today.
However, sometimes in a developing nation the internet decides to go down, like when a video is 97% uploaded to YouTube. And there will be wailing and gnashing of teeth.
I promise I'll get the video up later today, but for now I'm off to love on some more kids. I can't wait to see their sweet faces this morning. And in the meantime, you can go read about everyone's experiences over at Compassion Blogger.
One of the biggest blessings of my life has been the privilege of being on this trip. God knows me better that I know myself. Imagine that.
And you could play a huge role in the lives of these children by becoming a sponsor.
Several years ago I was at a Living Proof Live event where Beth showed the audience some pictures from a recent trip to Africa. The images were devastating - heart-wrenching, really - but as I sat in my chair and looked at that screen, there was one phrase in particular that ran through my mind over and over again:
"Lord, please don't call me to Africa. Please don't call me to Africa. Please don't call me to Africa."
And then: "Lord, I NEVER want to go to Africa."
For some reason the prospect of going to Africa and seeing the devastation there absolutely terrified me. There was no logical reason for it - it just was.
A little over a year later our pastor preached a pretty intense sermon about our command to go and make disciples of all nations. He mentioned over and over again that we're not called to be comfortable, and my flesh didn't like it one little bit. I was ticked, to be perfectly honest. And later that afternoon, as I was setting up for an event with one of our associate pastors, I vented my frustrations in a moment of oversharing. I said, "What am I supposed to do? Just hop on a plane and go to AFRICA or something? I have a three year-old, for pete's sake!"
So y'all know what happened. About a year later, the Lord totally called me to Africa. He took a heart that was completely hardened to serving overseas and found countless ways to soften it. By the time Compassion contacted me in August of 2007 about a trip to Uganda, I truly wanted to go. No one but God could have changed my heart like that. I'm so grateful that He was patient with me, because that trip was a watershed moment in my life for a whole host of reasons.
So I'm curious: has God ever led you to do something that you vowed you'd NEVER do?
As we may have mentioned once or eleven times, I'm in the Dominican Republic this week with Compassion.
I left San Antonio on Sunday morning at 9:30 and arrived in the Dominican on Sunday night around 10:00 p.m. There were various time changes along the way, but I can't really explain them to you because in some way they involve math skills and I am not a fan of the math.
We spent most of Monday visiting the first of many Compassion projects we will visit this week and it was an amazing experience. It was only Day One and I've already seen precious faces that I'll never forget.
I also saw poverty like I've never seen before.
But the thing is that Jesus sees it all. He sees the beautiful faces, the sweet smiles and the hearts that are learning to love Him even in the midst of these circumstances.
He knows their name.
He knows their heart.
He holds them in the palm of His hand.
And, hopefully, this week many of them will become sponsored children because God moves hearts to see their need.
Last night I was trying to get some writing done, and I pulled out my notebook from Living Proof Live in Knoxville (it was way back in 2005) because I was trying to remember something Beth Moore said about serving globally. And as I was making my way through my notes from the different sessions, I ran across a Scripture reference in the margins.
Curiosity got the better of me, so I decided to look up the passage. And when I read it, I started to cry right there at my kitchen table. I cannot imagine a more timely word for Melanie and the Compassion team that's serving in the Dominican Republic this week:
"Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:
to loose the chains of injustice
and untie the cords of the yoke,
to set the oppressed free
and break every yoke?
Is it not to share your food with the hungry
and to provide the poor wanderer with shelter--
when you see the naked, to clothe him,
and not to turn away from your own flesh and blood?
Then your light will break forth like the dawn,
and your healing will quickly appear;
then your righteousness will go before you,
and the glory of the LORD will be your rear guard.
Then you will call, and the LORD will answer;
you will cry for help, and he will say: Here am I.
"If you do away with the yoke of oppression,
with the pointing finger and malicious talk,
and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry
and satisfy the needs of the oppressed,
then your light will rise in the darkness,
and your night will become like the noonday.
The LORD will guide you always;
he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land
and will strengthen your frame.
You will be like a well-watered garden,
like a spring whose waters never fail.
Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins
and will raise up the age-old foundations;
you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls,
Restorer of Streets with Dwellings." - Isaiah 58:6-12
But I also know from my own Compassion trip that what Mel and the other bloggers experience in the Dominican Republic is going to change them forever. As my friend Brian told me in Uganda, "Once you've seen poverty up close, you can't pretend that you haven't." He was so right. And it's hard to process those third-world country experiences and reconcile them with the relative prosperity we enjoy in this country.
So given all of that, I think this would be a great opportunity for us to "spur one another on toward love and good deeds." If you've served in the mission field overseas (whether short-term or long-term) or if you've witnessed extreme poverty firsthand, do you have a verse or a word of encouragement that you could offer my sweet friend and her fellow bloggers before they leave? I know whatever you have to share would mean so much to them.
Here's mine: "If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."- Philippians 2:1-4
Thanks in advance for your sweet words, everybody.
I get emails all the time (okay. maybe not "all the time." maybe more like "once a week." but for the sake of narrative, let's pretend.) asking me how Melanie and I met. People assume that we grew up together, or we went to college together, or we both live in Texas.
But oh, the real story is quite the 21st century tale.
Melanie and I actually met because she left a comment on my blog that warmed my heart and made me laugh out loud. So I emailed her, and she emailed me back, and we realized we had tons in common. And now this is all sounding strangely like a commercial for an online dating service, but that's just a risk I have to take because apparently you really can make lifelong friendships by reading blogs, and quite frankly it would be a shame if I didn't give the world wide web the credit it deserves.
Y'all, the internet is a wonder.
Anyway, now that we've known each other a couple of years, we've crossed from internet-BFF into real-life BFF territory. Melanie is one of my very best friends, internet or no. We talk all the time. Talk about all the stuff we could never, ever blog about. Don't think a thing in the world about calling one another from the Target to share an exciting Mossimo or Xhilaration discovery. We're in this deal for the long haul.
And I say all that to say this: over the last year God has taken Melanie and me waaaaay outside of our comfort zones. But what has been so cool is that He has given us the gift of walking through those changes together. It has been one of the biggest blessings of my life. We've seen over and over again that Paul is not one bit kidding about that Ephesians 3:20 business, and so when Mel told me this past Sunday night that her pastor said something in his sermon that made her think of me, my ears perked up. She knows my battles, knows my frustrations - she's even my accountability partner in an area where I'm trying to improve this year.
When Mel shared what her pastor said, I 'bout near wanted to crawl under my kitchen table. It made me squirm because it was so dead-on. But even though it made me a little twitchy, I was so grateful that Melanie spoke that truth into my life. I love her times a million.
So I wonder: who's the person in your life who's not afraid to share an uncomfortable truth with you? Who's the person who doesn't shy away when it's time for some gut-level honesty? Who prays for you and encourages you and doesn't run away when you wrestle with the same problem for the 296th time?
Can't wait to hear all about it in the comments. See y'all there.
That's the countdown of how long until I leave for the Dominican Republic with Compassion. By the way, if you click "share" on that graphic, you can get the code to display it on your blog if you'd like.
Anyway, yesterday on my personal blog I wrote about a few of my fears as I get ready to go on this trip. I made the comment that it is definitely out of my comfort zone.
Then, this morning I opened up my "Discerning the Voice of God" Bible study and the topic was "God's Challenging Voice". As I read Priscilla's words I had no doubt that God was speaking directly to me.
"I find that His message challenges me because His purposes are always higher than mine. When followed in obedience, His Word causes me to step away from the comfort zone of my natural abilities and into the realm of His supernatural possibilities."
That's what this trip is for me. It's stepping out of the comfort zone of my natural abilities. My prayer is that everything we do in the Dominican Republic next week will bring glory to Him and that lives will be changed forever because of His mercy and goodness.
I'll be reporting live next week from the Dominican and I pray that his "supernatural possibilities" will be revealed.
In the meantime, what supernatural possibilities is He calling you to?
I spent a pretty fair chunk of my teenage years at various and sundry church retreats. I actually accepted Christ at church camp when I was 13 (and in true teenage fashion, proceeded to rededicate my life at least four or twelve times in the years that followed). But once I hit college, the camps stopped, save for a trip to an adult retreat when I was around 22. Which means that before Festivals of Marriage (FOMMMMMM) this past weekend, I hadn't been in an overnight conference setting in, oh, about seventeen years.
As soon as my husband and I pulled into Ridgecrest, all those "camp memories" flooded my brain. I remembered the practical jokes, the camp food, the way our junior high camp always seemed to coincide with the first hint of fall. I remembered the Amy Grant songs I'd listen to on my Walkman (you know, the ones that played CASSETTES), and I marveled that my husband and I were actually together on so many of those junior high and high school trips (we were just buddies, mind you). It seemed exactly right that I'd make my inaugural trip to Ridgecrest with him by my side.
Now that the weekend is over and I've had a little time to process everything, I have to say that the structure of FOM is excellent - it's ideal, in fact, for people like us who don't necessarily like to be "locked in" to one session after another. There were optional individual classes throughout all three days (some of the topics were respect, sexuality, seasons of life, parenting, etc.), and then there was corporate teaching and worship on Friday night, Saturday night and Sunday morning (Travis Cottrell led worship; Jena & Dale Forehand did the speaking) .
We enjoyed that corporate time so much...it was such a treat to go into the sanctuary with my husband and know that we didn't have any other commitments pulling at us. We also had some really, really good post-session discussions, and to be able to dig deep in conversation without any intrusions was such a blessing.
(sidenote: I bet most of us are probably good at remembering that we love our husbands, but sometimes it's also really fun to remember how much we like them, you know? I got to do that over and over again in North Carolina. And it was good.)
Just like church camp of yore, the most memorable part of the weekend was the fellowship - the time we spent with each other and with some of our sweet friends. In short, we had a blast. The weekend was a total treat for us. We came home without a bit of that typical post-retreat let-down. We were rested, recharged and more grateful than ever for the blessing of our marriage. I've often said that our marriage hasn't always been easy, but it's always been worth it.
And after this past weekend, I'm more certain of that than ever before.
I mentioned last week that I'm doing Priscilla Shirer's Bible study, "Discerning the Voice of God". The study is unbelievably good and I thought I'd share a quote from Priscilla.
"Even seemingly meaningless activities are used by God as tool to guide us toward His plans. Never think your circumstances are disconnected from God's leading and His will. Don't spend your time wishing you could get out of the season of life you are in; rather, spend your time looking fervently at God's hand in your situation."
When I look back at the last two years of my life, I see the hand of God all over it. At the time I wasn't sure what was going on and why things were happening that didn't seem to fit into my idea of a good time, but now I see how God has used those things to refine me and draw me closer to Him.
I'm not going to lie, it hasn't always been fun. There have been times that I've wanted to pull my hair out from the frustration, but ultimately it's been worth it.
...and even when the trees have just surrendered
To the harvest time
Forfeiting their leaves in late September
And sending us inside
Still I notice You when change begins
And I am braced for colder winds
I will offer thanks for what has been and what's to come
You are autumn.
- "Every Season" by Nichole Nordeman
Well, we made it to North Carolina (MY WORD the roads are twisty and turny - I had no idea) for FOM, and we are having a wonderful time here at Ridgecrest. I have to confess that at first the thought of being somewhere without a television in the room made me want to twitch just a little bit (HGTV is my friend, and I miss her when we're apart for too long), but I actually haven't missed the television at all.
Perhaps it's because I'm enjoying a strong Wifi connection at the moment.
OH, I kid.
Another confession: my mood for the last couple of days has been pretty rotten. I've been agitated, short with my hubby, out of sorts, you name it. I know in my head how these things work - it's the same as when you're trying to get your family out the door on Sunday mornings and find yourself saying something like, "I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SASSINESS, NOW LET'S GET IN THAT CAR AND GO PRAISE JESUS!"
See: author of distraction, etc.
But I'm happy to report that I'm all better now. It's impossible to look out on the majesty of these mountains and these trees - with the colors ranging from light gold to the deepest red you've ever seen - without remembering why we're here, without praising the One who made us.
So I'm soaking up the time with my husband, enjoying some mighty fine teaching, and laughing my head off with some sweet friends who are also here this weekend. In fact, last night around 10:30 you would've found the four of us riding down the road (in a MINIVAN, OH ROCK ON) singing love songs from the 80s at the top of our lungs. I felt like I was sixteen - only maybe a smidge wiser - and I loved every second of it.
I've been a little reflective about marriage this week - I guess because we're going to the Festival of Marriage conference this weekend (sidenote: for some reason the word "festival" makes me think that there will be mimes, crafts and cotton candy, but I'm fairly certain that I'm dead wrong on all counts, and I'm not really sad about that because, well, mimes scare me).
I've mentioned before on my personal blog that while I know there are some couples for whom marriage is effortless and breezy, we are not one of those couples. Our marriage has endured some downright grueling seasons, and there have been a couple of times in the last eleven years when I thought that we were done. There have even been a couple of times in the last eleven years when I thought I wanted to be done. If you've ever walked through anything like that in your own marriage, you know how difficult it is. It's heartbreaking. And it's exhausting.
Sometimes I think back on our wedding day and marvel at how clueless the two of us were. Since our pre-marital counseling consisted of a pastor meeting with us for five minutes and saying, "Oh, I'm not worried, you two will be fine," we didn't dig deep into some topics we should have addressed before we were married. And it took all of four days of marriage for us to realize that UH-OH, WE HAVE US SOME ISH-AHS.
It took us another five years before we got to the heart of those issues, so for those of you keeping score at home, that's five years of dancing around the big stuff. Five years of hiding the pieces and parts of our hearts that we didn't want the other person to see.
It's not an approach to marriage that I can really, you know, recommend.
But now? I'm so grateful that we didn't give up in those first five years. I'm so grateful that in the midst of all our hurt and disappointment, we both believed that God was doing something in our midst, even though it hurt like crazy. I'm so grateful that we know firsthand the blessing - the JOY - of His restoration. He just flat-out does things that we, in all our humanness, cannot.
What about y'all? What are you most grateful for in your marriage?
We'll have us a Festival of Praise in the comments.
I had never had the opportunity to hear Priscilla Shirer speak until I went to Deeper Still Atlanta. I'd heard that she was great and assumed it must be true because it's not like they ask just anyone to get on stage with Beth Moore and Kay Arthur.
For instance, I haven't been asked.
Which is a good thing considering I have a touch of the stage fright.
Anyway, Priscilla took the stage that night and talked about when God takes you into the wilderness. I knew in the first two minutes that I absolutely wanted to do one of her Bible studies. God used her to speak right to my heart.
So this fall my Bible study group decided to do "Discerning the Voice of God" by Priscilla. We specifically chose this study because we all agreed that we struggle to hear the voice of God in our lives and wanted to hear Him more clearly.
For me personally, I always wonder if what I'm hearing is God's voice or just some random thoughts in my head. I've always been hesitant to act on certain things because I get caught up in my fear of hearing something wrong.
One of Priscilla's main points that has stuck with me is that intimacy is the foundation for getting to know God. If I'm not spending time in His word and listening for His voice, then I'm going to miss out.
I need to wait expectantly for His voice, not hoping I will hear it, but KNOWING I will hear it. When I expect to hear Him, I will be more patient knowing He will come through in His time.
And yes, sometimes His timing isn't the timing I would like. There have been so many times that I've gotten a promise from Him and I'm ready to see that promise fulfilled sooner rather than later, like maybe yesterday.
But that's not how He works. Just ask Abraham. God told Abraham that he'd have a son, but Abraham and Sarah thought they should help God out by getting Hagar involved. (Gen. 21:1-2)
Oh, how many times have I been delusional enough to think I was going to help God out by working on my own plan while I wait on His? More than my pride would like to admit.
And ultimately, obedience is the key to hearing His voice.
I need to work on my obedience, even when He says something I don't really want to hear. I need to work on my patience, even when I'm ready to see things start to happen.
"Wait for the Lord; Be strong, and let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord."
Psalm 27:14
"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?"
Matthew 6: 25-31
Over the last few months as I've watched gas prices go up and the stock market go down, I've had moments of worrying what it all means. Will my family be okay? Do we have everything we need?
When I read this passage from Matthew 6, I am assured that we absolutely have everything we need and it is found in Jesus Christ.
Why should I worry? Instead I am reminded to "seek first His kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you".
I'll be back next week to talk more about all the behind the scenes stuff at the "Five Conversations You Should Have With Your Daughter" taping. There may even be another caption contest in which we give away an array of fabulous prizes, otherwise known as a free book or two.
In the meantime, here's a quote from Oswald Chambers that I just read in Priscilla Shirer's "Discerning the Voice of God" study. It's really made me think about my ability to hear God's voice.
"What hinders me from hearing is that I am taken up with other things. It is not that I will not hear God, but I am not devoted in the right place. I am devoted to things, to service, to convictions, and God may say what he likes, but I do not hear Him. The child attitude is always 'Speak Lord, for thy servant heareth." Oswald Chambers.
After I posted about struggling with time management this past Monday morning, I started making my way through my email.
And in a devotion someone sent me, I found this quote. It pretty much jumped off the page.
"Do not try to do a great thing, or you may waste all your life waiting for the opportunity which may never come. But since little things are always claiming your attention, do them as they come from a great motive, for the glory of God and to do good to men." - F.B. Meyer
I'm praying that we would all do those "little things" well today..."for the glory of God and to do good to men."
I know I've mentioned two or ninety times that my Bible study group is going through Anointed Transformed Redeemed right now, and something from this week's homework (written by Priscilla Shirer) really hit home with me.
I struggle with managing my time, and even though I keep a calendar so I know what's coming up when, I don't budget the time in my day. My husband is a HUGE proponet of budgeting your time, and he has no problem working on one thing for an hour and then moving on to the next scheduled task.
But honestly, I'm too scattered most of the time for that approach to work. After all, it's hard to stick to writing a blog post when you're also trying to cook supper and change sheets and redecorate your dining room.
I'm only sort of kidding about that.
This week in our study homework Priscilla encouraged us to examine how we budget our time. She writes, "just as we budget our finances to determine where our money should be going, it behooves us to budget our time to ensure that we spend it wisely."
And it occurred to me that my tendency is to let time control me instead of me controlling my time. I'm forever feeling like I'm at the mercy of deadlines, of last-minute preparations, of trying to juggle six things at once instead of sitting down and doing one thing really well. I don't know if any of you have the same struggle, but it's probably no surprise that sometimes I frustrate myself to no end with my lack of time management.
So what about you? Do you have any tips on time budgeting? Had any success with it? Any suggestions you could offer the rest of us?
For the last year I've been in a weekly Bible study with about eight other women. We range in age from 30-something to 60-something, and the fact that we're at different stages in life has been a huge blessing. Being able to soak up the wisdom of women who have already walked this sometimes rocky road of parenting is a major encouragement to me.
For instance, right now I'm trying to write this post while a certain five year-old is screaming about Star Wars in the background, but I'm not complaining because I know my sweet Bible study buddy MJ - who is now a grandmother of four - would tell me to treasure every single second of my precious little man's tendency to speak in surround sound.
So anyway.
Last week our group started Anointed Transformed Redeemed, and y'all, it is GOOD. Even though I was in Nashville for the Deeper Still event where this study was recorded, I watched the first DVD session like I had never seen it before.
The word was still fresh. That's all I'm sayin'.
This week's homework has focused on how God establishes and equips us for our callings, and something on Day Two really jumped out at me. Priscilla Shirer writes: "Think about your season of life and...come up with a list of practical suggestions that you can incorporate into everyday living to assist you in being constantly aware of God's presence."
The first thing that popped into my mind? Worship music. It is HUGE for us. I cannot overemphasize how it changes the tone of our time in the car. In addition to that, it's led to some pretty cool discussions with the little guy who rides in the backseat. I also try to find chunks of time throughout the day when I can listen to worship music on my iPod because it makes such a big difference in my attitude...it has a way of snapping all my petty frustrations right back into perspective.
So what about you? What helps you to be aware of God's presence in the midst of your daily responsibilities?
And if you say that you're a retired empty-nester who now has countless hours to sit and look at a large body of water and think about Jesus, those of us who have young kids or demanding jobs (or both) won't even be jealous.
I have a vested interest in this study because not only do I have a daughter, but I like to have conversations with her.
And sometimes I could use some help.
In fact, here's a sample of a conversation we had late last week.
"How was school today, Sweetie?"
"Good."
"What did you do?"
"I ate lunch with my teacher."
"That's fun. What did y'all talk about?
"Remember that time I had to go to the doctor and get four shots?"
"Yes. Is that what you talked about?
"No."
And scene.
So, anyway, in light of my stellar conversation skills and my apparent ability to just draw out information, I'd love to hear from y'all.
How do you get your kids talking? What are some of the keys to keeping communication flowing as they get older? How do you get them to share what's going on in their lives?
I'd love to hear your thoughts and I know others would, too.
It just beat me down and I ended the evening in tears because I was out of powdered sugar. But just so you don't think I'm overreacting, let me explain that I needed the powdered sugar to make the chocolate icing for the chocolate cake I'd made to drown out the day.
Yes, I realize it's September, which is technically the Fall, but we're a little behind. We'll start the study in two weeks.
If any of you want to buy the book and play along at home, I'd love for us to do the study together and have weekly discussions about what we're learning in the comments. Let me know if you're interested.
3. The bright spot in yesterday, other than learning that you can put granulated sugar in a blender and make powdered sugar, was the release of Chris Tomlin's new CD "Hello Love".
It's every bit as good as I thought it would be. So far, I particularly like "All the Way My Savior Leads Me" and "My Beloved".
Last week, my Bible study group finished week seven of A Heart Like His.
For those of you playing at home, you may be thinking that we finished week six about three weeks ago. And you would be right.
But summer is a time full of vacations and no schedules. We have embraced summer and are not getting bogged down in Bible study legalism.
And, sure, we may not be finished learning about David until Christmas, but whatever.
Anyway, week seven is entitled "The Wages of Sin".
You just know it's not going to be pretty.
Sure enough, day one kicks off with David seeing Bathsheba taking a bath and ends with her being pregnant with his child.
Not good.
As many times as I've heard this story, I kept reading it wishing and hoping it would end differently than it did the first 100 times. Especially after I've spent the last six weeks following David's incredible rise to the throne and the character, dignity and faith in God that guided him along the way.
How did this happen? How did David fall?
Well, first, he fell because he was human. All of us are going to fail which is why we need Jesus.
But there were a few other factors.
He was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I had never noticed this before, but Beth points out in 2 Samuel 11:1 that we see David send Joab off to war instead of going himself. David stayed in Jerusalem when he should have been with his men.
When he walked up to the roof and saw Bathsheba bathing, he was in a place he shouldn't have been in the first place with too much time on his hands. That's a dangerous combination.
The sight of Bathsheba caused David to have thoughts he shouldn't have, which led to him sending for her, which led to the conception of a child.
I'll let y'all put all those pieces together.
The bottom line is that it was David's thoughts that began his journey down a bad road. If he had asked God to give him the strength to think on what is pure, what is lovely, what is holy as opposed to asking one of his men to go get Bathsheba, that would have been the end of the story.
Beth made it very clear how important it is that we safeguard ourselves from wrong actions by confessing the sins of our thoughts.
It's really made me think about my thought life. How many times do I let my mind go down a path it shouldn't go? How often do I get all judgy in my head about someone? How often do I dwell on something longer than I should?
I've spent the last week trying to remember to ask God to take those thoughts and forgive me for them before they turn into words or actions that could be hurtful.
I have a long way to go, but it's definitely made me think more about where I let my mind go and where it shouldn't go. Because how much better is it to stop something potentially hurtful in my head before it becomes a word or an action?
"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2
If you missed the interview that Steven Curtis Chapman and his family did with Robin Roberts on Good Morning America then you are missing out.
I can't even imagine what they are going through, but what an incredible testimony of the power of hope in an Almighty God even in the midst of tragedy.
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1
Okay, I am in need of some assistance. Actually my beloved Bible study group is in need of assistance and I just know y'all will be able to help us out.
I mentioned before that we first started meeting last summer. We did Beth Moore's "Jesus, The One and Only" study and we all agreed that it was awesome. I loved meeting every week and hearing what everyone had learned as they completed their homework.
Then, last fall, we did "A Woman's Heart: God's Dwelling Place" by Beth Moore. (Is it just me or do you sense a theme?) We loved it and it was really cool to be immersed in the Old Testament after spending the summer learning about Jesus. It allowed us to get a grasp on God's plan from the very beginning.
In the spring, we went through "Believing God", also by Beth. This has been my personal favorite so far because it completely ministered to me where I am at this point in my life. I watched my faith and trust in God grow immeasurably during that time and, even now when I feel the fear and doubt start to rise, I begin to say "God is who He says He is, He can do what He says He can do, I am who God says I am, I can do all things through Christ, God's word is alive and active in me." And I feel his peace envelop me.
Guess what we're doing this summer? Another Beth Moore study. SHOCKING.
It's "A Heart Like His" and is about the life of David. It's pure awesome.
We know we want to meet in the fall, but we're trying to decide on a study. Our summer study is actually going to run through mid-September because of vacation schedules, etc., so we're looking for something that may be a little shorter.
It would be ideal if we could find something that we could finish by early December so that we can break for the holidays.
So what Bible studies have you loved? Any suggestions? Any of you doing Kelly Minter's "No Other Gods" on LPM? Do you love it? We need some input.
It dawned on me the other day that there may be some of you who read this blog who don't read my personal blog. Which is totally fine. It's not a requirement or anything.
Anyway, I thought I should tell you a little more about me than what is contained in that ever so brief bio in the top corner. I originally wrote this for my blog about two years ago, but thought I would share it here so we can get to know each other better.
And if you feel like it, I'd love to hear a little bit about your own personal story in the comments.
I grew up in church, so I can't remember the first time I heard the story of the Prodigal Son. It was just another Bible story like Noah and the ark, Joseph and the coat of many colors, or Moses and the parting of the Red Sea. I never gave it much thought.
As a teenager, I slowly turned away from the Christian foundation I had been given as a child. I had always been just on the fringe of being really popular because I didn't drink and go to all the parties, and by my junior year I was sick of it. I jumped in with both feet and pretty quickly found myself dating one of the most popular boys in school, going to all the good parties (you know the ones that involved parents being out of town and kegs of beer), and rebelling from all I knew to be right.
My downward spiral continued throughout high school and well into college. I knew what was right, but I was so stubborn. As I became more and more unhappy with the choices I was making, I started looking for answers. Finally, one night during my senior year in college, I picked up a book called "No Wonder They Call Him the Savior" by Max Lucado.
His account of the prodigal son rocked me to my core. I had never before understood how much God loved me, how much He wanted me and how His grace completely covered every mistake I had made.
The next week I started attending a Bible study called Breakaway. I walked into the room feeling a little intimidated. A guy named Chris Tomlin (maybe y'all have heard of him?) started leading worship and sang a song called "Grace Flows Down".
I cried like a baby, not just a few tears but a full on ugly cry.
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound
Amazing Love, now flowing down
from hands and feet that were nailed to a tree
Your Grace flows down and covers me
and covers me
and covers me
and covers me
I knew that I was desperately in need of that grace.
I didn't care how I looked, I didn't care who was watching, and I didn't care what it cost me because, for the first time I realized that it had cost Him everything and He did it for me. And like the prodigal son, I went running home and the best part...my Father came running to meet me.
Five and a half years ago, P and I sat in a room while an ultrasound technician looked at the screen and told us we were having a baby girl.
I had long suspected it was a girl, but actually hearing the words made me start to cry. I was going to have a daughter!
As much as I thought I knew about having a girl, since, you know, I am one, there have been so many things that have surprised me.
Things like how 5 1/2 pounds of baby sweetness wrapped in a fluffy pink blanket caused my life to change forever or how obsessed I'd become with finding hairbows to match every outfit.
But of all the moments that have caught me unaware, the biggest one happened a few months ago.
Late one night, I heard Caroline calling for me from her room. I went in to see what she needed and she started to cry. Not just a little cry for sympathy, but a real heart-wrenching sobbing kind of cry.
She told me she had some "thoughts in her brain" that she couldn't get out of her head. And as I pressed her to tell me what was going on, she began to tell me about how one of her little girlfriends had been mean to her that day at school.
She'd told Caroline that unless Caroline played the game she wanted to play then she wasn't going to play with her anymore and would tell the other girls not to play with her either.
Before that time I had never wished harm on a four-year-old child, but I had also never experienced someone being mean to my baby. I had a strong desire to call that other little girl and threaten her Polly Pocket collection.
But, of course, that would have been inappropriate. And also psychotic.
The thing that struck me was the fact that "mean girl" politics had arrived in preschool. I thought it would be sometime around junior high and orthodontia before Caroline came home in tears because of something another girl said or did.
I was shocked we reached that occasion before elementary school.
For those of you raising daughters, what have you had to deal with that has caught you completely off-guard?
Also, what are some situations you have encountered where you have not allowed her to participate in/do/own something and then been discouraged when her friends' parents give in with their own daughters. In other words, fill in the blank: "But Mom, eveeeeeeeryone but me gets to/has a ___________________ !"
And lastly, (oh I am demanding today) how old was your daughter when you experienced these moments?
I'd love to sympathize with those of y'all in the same stage and begin to pray hard as I realize what lies ahead.
A few weeks ago I mentioned that my Bible study group was doing Beth Moore's A Heart Like His this summer. Yesterday, I finished Week 5 entitled "The Long-Awaited Throne".
After all that David had been through, after all the times he had to wonder what God was doing and if he would really ever be king, he was finally anointed King of Israel. He'd spent fifteen years fighting battles to finally see God's promise revealed.
I tend to get impatient when God hasn't answered me in a day or two, much less waiting for fifteen years. How many times did David wonder if he had imagined the whole thing?
Anyway, the last lesson of Week 5 focused on when David brought the Ark of the Covenant back to Israel. 2 Samuel 6: 14 tells us that David, wearing a linen ephod, danced before the Lord with all his might.
His wife Michal, who was also Saul's daughter, watched him dance and the Bible says that she despised him in her heart. Later on, when David returns home, Michal mocks him and says that he has disgraced himself by disrobing in front of the slave girls.
In 2 Samuel 6:21-22, David replies, "I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes."
Lately, I've been struggling with the realization that sometimes I am too concerned about the approval of man. I worry what other people think of me, I worry if I'm doing the right thing or acting the right way, I worry that people are judging my mothering abilities, or how I look, or what I'm wearing. I get caught up in the vicious cycle of wanting human approval.
David's words reminded me that all I have to be is who God made me to be. I need to seek Him with all my heart. I need to celebrate before the Lord and not be so concerned about what people think of me. I need to become "even more undignified than this" before my God.
Because no one is ever going to love me more than He does. No one will ever do for me what He has already done for me.
A long, long time ago before Deeper Still Atlanta, Sophie wrote a post on modesty that generated a lot of discussion in the comments.
And then we got all busy with official LifeWay stuff and didn't get to continue the conversation, so Sophie and I thought that we'd talk a little more about modesty.
Specifically, where to find modest clothes without showing up at the pool in what Ma Ingalls would have called her bathing dress and petticoat.
Since I have a four year old daughter, who already has strong opinions about what she wears, I thought I'd share what we do at our house and where we like to shop.
I have some basic rules. No Bratz anything, no strapless or tiny tops, no snarky sayings written in glittered calligraphy across a t-shirt, and always wear shorts or bloomers with dresses and skirts.
Oh, and nothing with Strawberry Shortcake. Not because she's immodest but because it gets on my nerves how she uses the word "berry" instead of "very".
It's a tricky fashion world out there for little girls. I mean, even Dora shows her tummy while she's out exploring with Boots.
As Caroline has more and more opinions about what she wears, I try to surrender my desire to dress her in perfectly matched ensembles complete with coordinating hairbows. She likes to pick out her own clothes and, within reason, I let her.
Well, with the exception of special occasions and church on Sundays. I prefer that we not look like we're raising a hobo.
My thought is that as she gets older there will be bigger battles to fight over modesty issues and for now I want to give her some freedom. As much as I cringe as I walk through Target with someone wearing jeans that are too short with a purple leotard, cowboy boots, and a ski cap, I let it go because she is immensely proud of her sartorial efforts.
I know that many of y'all have older kids and are fighting the modesty battle in full force, while I am still figuring it out. At one point this spring I bought Caroline what looked like a darling one-piece bathing suit from Gap, but once she tried it on I realized it looked too sophisticated for a little girl, so I returned it.
It wasn't that it revealed too much, it just seemed too grown up. So I'm realizing that modesty isn't always just about coverage, but about the overall look.
So, enough of my rambling thoughts. Here are some places where I've had great luck finding cute, appropriate clothing for girls.
I love CWD Kids because their stuff is stylish, yet perfect for kids.
Lands End is another great place to find age appropriate clothes, plus you can now find a lot of their stuff at Sears.
Hanna Andersson is a little pricey, but their stuff lasts forever.
Kelly's Kids always has the best stuff and it's 50/50 blend so it doesn't shrink no matter how many times you dry it.
Most of the stuff at Orient Expressed is for younger kids, but I just love all their sweet things.
I am a huge fan of Gap clothing. It holds up really well and I can always count on finding sale items.
And, honestly, one of my favorite places in the world to shop for Caroline is on Ebay. I have found some great deals on retail and handmade clothes over the years. It's always the first place I look when I'm shopping for new clothes.
Speaking of, I am going to be doing a lot of shopping for new clothes this fall. After going through her closet, I've discovered that she has officially outgrown everything. We will be starting over from scratch.
Oh the joy of spending money on a new wardrobe that's not for me.
What about y'all? Where do you like to shop for your kids? What do you look for in clothes for them? What are your rules?
Last night I went to dinner with about ten other bloggers. We all live in the same town, and we decided a couple of months ago - after reading each other's blogs for awhile - that it might be fun to get together and hang out in person. Face-to-face. Without computer monitors in between us.
And do you know what? We had the best time. I so enjoyed getting to meet everybody live and in person, and I feel like I have a new little community-o-bloggy-buddies right here where I live. I hope so much that we'll get together again. I have a feeling that we will.
Now for the record, I would just like to state that if you had told me in the early- to mid-nineties that I would be making friends on the computer, I would have told you to put down the science fiction novels and get out in the real world with those of us who were engaging in deeply meaningful activities like watching "The Arsenio Hall Show" and talking on our bag phones.
But the fact of the matter is that over the last two and a half years I've met some amazing women through blogging. Melanie and I laugh all the time that we met ON THE INTERNET, and yet she is now such a huge part of my life that it feels like we've known each other forever. I don't know what I'd do without her.
And that reminds me.
When Mel and I were at Deeper Still a couple of weeks ago I noticed a group of women sitting to our left. They wore matching brown t-shirts, and I just assumed that they were from the same church group or Bible study. But a few days ago someone sent me a link to this post, and I read the story of the girls in the brown t-shirts. Then I cried like a baby.
(Go ahead and click on that link. Really. It's a must-read. I'll wait right here for you. No rush.)
There's no question that the internet has its issues. OH MERCY does it have its issues. But one of the most amazing benefits it offers - at least in my opinion - is the opportunity to fellowship with other women, to engage in community with people who are walking the same road - whether that road is lined with demanding careers, tight budgets, three children under the age of five or hurts so deeply profound that you're not even sure if you can get out of the bed most mornings.
I think what touches me the most about the story of the women in the brown shirts is just the simple fact that they found each other. It would have been practically impossible for those women to connect even ten years ago, but thanks to the internet, they found each other.
And as a result of finding each other, they've prayed with each other. Ministered to each other. Worshipped with each other.
The interweb is a marvel, y'all.
So what about you? Have you met any "blogging buddies" in real life? Have you found any unexpected friendships along the way?
I got home from the She Speaks Conference yesterday around 12:30 p.m.
It would have been sooner but apparently the flight crew was having some issues with the airplane plumbing. Something about potable water and not wanting the plane to become filled with any stank nasty during our flight.
The flight attendant didn't actually use the term stank nasty, but I feel certain she was thinking it.
The conference was awesome and I was especially moved by the fact that when Lysa Terkeurst of Proverbs 31 Ministries began her talk on Friday night that she spoke about David and the importance of tending your sheep.
I believe in some circles it would be referred to as GETTING A WORD.
Any time God is trying to tell me something He tends to get repetitive.
So, after an awesome weekend this past weekend, I'm so excited about heading out to Deeper Still in Atlanta this weekend.
Because something tells me that God is going to use Beth, Kay and Priscilla to give a lot of women A WORD.
Do you see how I just call them Beth, Kay and Priscilla like we're all going to be hanging out in our jammies eating Funyuns and M&M's on Friday night?
Other than the fact we've never met, we are very tight.
In all seriousness, I can't wait to see what God is going to do. I know He has planned this weekend from the beginning of time and has some incredible things in store.
My prayer this week is that He will speak to the Deeper Still team in a profound way, that He will help everyone arrive safely in Atlanta and that He will rock our worlds in ways we can't even imagine.
If any of y'all happen to have any tickets that you aren't going to use, I know a few women who may be interested. Just let me know in the comments.
And if you're thinking you'd love the chance to go to Deeper Still but can't be in Atlanta, you've got one more chance this year.
She's studying sex and I'm studying the life of David.
And judging by a little story about David and Bathsheba, I'd say David dealt with some sex issues.
But that's not what I'm talking about today. My group just finished Week One, so we haven't really gotten that far. We're only to the part where he killed Goliath with a slingshot.
Of course everyone knows that story because it is a big hit on the Sunday School flannel board circuit, as opposed to the whole Bathsheba thing which doesn't translate well to the Sunday School crowd.
It would raise some awkward questions from the six year olds.
Much better to stick with being thrown in a pit of fire or a den of lions. You know, family friendly stuff.
Anyway, as I finished my lessons last week, something really stood out to me about the life of David that I'd never thought about before.
In I Samuel 16: 1-13 God tells Samuel to go see Jesse of Bethlehem because He has chosen one of his sons to be the new king. Samuel went and when he got there He listened to God and anointed David with oil. Verse 13 says, "...and from that day on the Spirit of the Lord came upon David in power."
Yeah, so that's pretty cool.
But here's what I thought about. What happened after that moment? David has just been anointed with oil in the presence of his brothers, did any of them realize the significance of that moment? Did they know what was in store for their little brother?
And what about David? Did he just head on back to tend his sheep? I mean, I'm sure he did because that was his job. He tended the sheep. It wasn't as if he all of a sudden found himself sitting on a throne up in some sweet palace.
Haven't you ever felt that way? Something big happens or you feel like you've had some huge life moment and then the next day or the next minute you're back to scrubbing the toilet and cooking up some Kraft mac and cheese for the family.
Hopefully, you're not doing both at the same time because EWWW.
And if you're like me, you may wonder how God is going to bring you from where you are to where He wants you to be. How is He going to use you when you're busy running carpool or cleaning out the fridge?
How is He going to provide for your family? How is He going to use something bad that happened for good?
How is He going to get a young shepherd boy from the pasture to the throne?
In I Samuel 16: 14-23 we begin to see the answer. Saul is tormented by an evil spirit and was in need of some harp music. And, really, who doesn't benefit from a little harp music from time to time?
One of his servants happens to know a friend of a friend that knows David (I just made that up, I don't know how the servant actually knew David) and Hey! He plays the harp.
So Saul summons David to the palace to play the harp.
From the pasture to the throne.
Not because of anything David did or any situation he tried to work to his benefit. He was doing what he was supposed to be doing, where he was supposed to be doing it and God was in control.
God knew how to get David to the throne.
I know I have days (okay, honestly, maybe weeks) where I wonder how God can use me when I'm playing Kids' Cruise Director all day long.
"Welcome to your playroom. I don't feel bad that you're bored. Find something to play with or I will sell your toys to neighborhood children for $1.00."
But what I realized doing this study this week is that God knows the plans He has for me (doesn't it say that in the Bible somewhere?) and He is going to work in my life to fulfill those plans.
I need to listen to His voice and go when He says go, stay when He says stay, and pray when I'm not sure what He's saying one way or the other.
After I had my daughter Caroline in the summer of 2003, I struggled with a lot of things. Things like why does she wake up every night at 3 a.m. and will my stomach ever go back to its former size. Oh, and the crying. All the crying.
Of course everyone assured me the crying would stop once my hormones leveled out. And chocolate helped immensely. Not so much with the stomach issue, but with the hormonal surges.
At the time I was a working mama so I was also having a hard time finding a good balance for my life. Specifically, I wanted to get involved in a women's Bible study, but there just didn't seem to be enough hours in the day.
Most of the churches in my neighborhood only offered morning Bible studies but that didn't work for my schedule. And by the time night came, all I wanted to do was sleep. Oh sweet sleep, how I adore thee.
So I didn't do anything. And as a result I felt my faith growing really stagnant, which isn't really a good thing considering that I was at a point in life where I knew I needed God's input more than ever.
Finally, last spring, my best friend Gulley asked me if I'd be interested in doing a summer Bible study with her, even if it was just the two of us. I told her to count me in.
And thus, the best Bible study group ever was created.
No, it's not just Gulley and me.
At first glance our group seems completely random. None of us were really tied together in any way, other than we all had some association with Gulley.
I remember thinking the first night we met that we couldn't have tried to come up with a more diverse group.
We spent last summer studying Beth Moore's "Jesus, The One and Only" and none of us have ever gotten more out of a study than we did in those ten weeks. Of course the study was phenomenal and is one of my personal favorites, but the relationships that developed during that time were incredible.
In fact, as the summer went on we started talking about what we wanted to do in the fall because we couldn't imagine breaking up our little group. God has truly knit our hearts together in a way that only He can do.
And when I look at our group now, I realize it wasn't random at all. Each one of us was put there for a specific purpose.
Our group has a mama with older kids who assures us that there will come a day when we'll get to sleep without a little person in our bed, and those of us with little ones tell the ones without kids to RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND AND GO TO THE MOVIES! OR OUT TO DINNER! DO IT NOW WHILE YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIRE A BABYSITTER!
We laugh with each other, we pray with each other, we encourage each other. We know that if any of us has a need then the others are just an email or a phone call away.
And most importantly, we can't wait for Tuesday nights.
Melanie
Melanie
Sophie
Sophie
Pam
Pam
Paige
Paige
Kris
Kris